Inā manaʻo ʻoe e pono ke loaʻa ke aloha a lawe ʻoe i ka hoʻohewa a i ʻole ka nānā ʻole i ka puʻuwai, e paʻakikī iā ʻoe ke kūleʻa. Hoʻopilikia nā ʻike paʻakikī i ka hilinaʻi iā ia iho. Kaʻana like ʻo Aaron Karmine psychologist pehea e lanakila ai i kēia mau kānalua.
Inā ʻaʻole mākou i aloha iā mākou iho, me he mea lā he pono mākou e "hōʻoia" i ko mākou kiʻekiʻe ma luna o nā mea ʻē aʻe i mea e hoʻopau ai i ka ʻeha o loko. Kapa ʻia kēia ʻo overcompensation. ʻO ka pilikia ʻaʻole ia e hana.
Manaʻo mākou he pono mākou e hōʻoia i kekahi mea i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a hiki i ka wā e ʻike ai lākou ua "maikaʻi" mākou. ʻO ke kuhi hewa i kēia hihia, ʻo ia ka lawe nui ʻana i nā hoʻopiʻi a me nā hoʻohewa a nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. No laila, me he mea lā e hoʻāʻo nei mākou e pale iā mākou iho i loko o kahi ʻaha noʻonoʻo, e hōʻike ana i ko mākou hewa ʻole i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e pale i ka hoʻopaʻi.
No ka laʻana, haʻi kekahi iā ʻoe: "ʻAʻole ʻoe e hoʻolohe iaʻu" a i ʻole "Hoʻopiʻi mau ʻoe iaʻu no nā mea āpau!". ʻAʻole kūpono kēia mau "ʻaʻole" a "mau" i kā mākou ʻike maoli. Hoʻomaka pinepine mākou e pale iā mākou iho i kēia mau hoʻopiʻi wahaheʻe. I ko mākou pale ʻana, hōʻike mākou i nā ʻāpana like ʻole: "He aha kāu ʻōlelo ʻaʻole wau e hoʻolohe iā ʻoe? Ua noi mai ʻoe iaʻu e kelepona i ka mea paipu, a ua hana wau. Hiki iā ʻoe ke nānā iā ia ma kāu pila kelepona.»
He mea maʻamau ka hiki ke hoʻololi i ka manaʻo o kā mākou interlocutor, maʻamau ʻaʻole lākou e pili i kekahi mea. ʻO ka hopena, manaʻo mākou ua nalowale kā mākou "hihia" i ka "aha" a ʻoi aku ka ʻino ma mua o ka wā ma mua.
I ka hoʻopaʻi ʻana, hoʻomaka mākou e hoʻolei i nā hoʻopiʻi. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ua "maikaʻi" mākou. ʻAʻole kūpono wale. Akā ʻaʻole koi ʻia ka hemolele, ʻoiai ʻaʻohe mea e haʻi pololei iā mākou i kēia. Pehea mākou e hoʻoholo ai i ka poʻe i "ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi" a ʻo wai ka "ʻino"? Ma ke aha nā kūlana a me nā pae? Ma hea mākou e lawe ai i ka "kanaka maʻamau" i hōʻailona no ka hoʻohālikelike?
He waiwai a pono ke aloha ia kakou a pau mai ka hanau ana mai.
ʻO ke kālā a me ke kūlana kiʻekiʻe e hiki ke maʻalahi i ko mākou ola, akā ʻaʻole lākou e "ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi" ma mua o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, pehea (paʻakikī a maʻalahi paha) ke ola o ke kanaka ʻaʻole ia e ʻōlelo i kekahi mea e pili ana i kona kūlana kiʻekiʻe a i ʻole ka haʻahaʻa i hoʻohālikelike ʻia me nā mea ʻē aʻe. ʻO ka hiki ke hoʻomanawanui i mua o ka pilikia a me ka neʻe ʻana i mua, ʻo ia ka wiwo ʻole a me ka kūleʻa, me ka nānā ʻole i ka hopena hopena.
ʻAʻole hiki ke manaʻo ʻia ʻo Bill Gates "ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi" ma mua o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma muli o kona waiwai, e like me ka hiki ʻole i kekahi ke manaʻo i kahi kanaka i nalowale i kāna ʻoihana a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻole i emi ko mākou waiwai i ka nui o ko mākou aloha ʻia a kākoʻo ʻia, ʻaʻole ia i hilinaʻi i kā mākou mau talena a me kā mākou hana. He waiwai a pono ke aloha ia kakou a pau mai ka hanau ana mai. ʻAʻole mākou e lilo i mea waiwai a emi ʻole. ʻAʻole mākou e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a i ʻole ka ʻino ma mua o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.
ʻAʻole pili i ke kūlana a mākou e loaʻa ai, pehea ka nui o ke kālā a me ka mana i loaʻa iā mākou, ʻaʻole loa mākou e loaʻa "ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi". Pēlā nō, ʻaʻole mākou e ʻoi aku ka "ʻino". ʻO kā mākou mau holomua a me nā mea i hoʻokō ʻia, ʻaʻole ia e hoʻolilo iā mākou i mea e pono ai ke aloha, e like me kā mākou hāʻule ʻana, nā poho, a me nā hemahema ʻaʻole ia e hoʻohaʻahaʻa iā mākou.
He hemolele mākou a pau a hana hewa.
Ua noho mau mākou, a e "maikaʻi". Inā ʻae mākou i ko mākou waiwai ʻole a ʻike pono mākou i ke aloha mau, ʻaʻole pono mākou e hilinaʻi i ka ʻae ʻana o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻohe kanaka kūpono. ʻO ke ʻano o ke kanaka, ʻo ia hoʻi ka hewa ʻole, ʻo ia hoʻi ke hana hewa mākou a mihi mākou ma hope.
Hoʻomaka ka mihi i ka makemake e hoʻololi i kekahi mea i ka wā ma mua. Akā ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻololi i ka wā i hala. Hiki iā mākou ke ola me ka mihi i ko mākou hemahema. Akā ʻaʻole hewa ka hemahema. ʻAʻole mākou he poʻe hewa e pono ai ka hoʻopaʻi. Hiki iā mākou ke hoʻololi i ka hewa me ka mihi no ka maikaʻi ʻole o mākou, ʻo ia wale nō ka mea e hoʻokūpaʻa i ko mākou ʻano kanaka.
ʻAʻole hiki ke pale i ka hōʻike ʻana o ka hemahema o ke kanaka. Hana hewa mākou a pau. ʻO kahi hana koʻikoʻi i ka ʻae ʻana iā ʻoe iho ʻo ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i kou mau ikaika a me kou nāwaliwali.