Pehea e kamaʻilio ai me nā keiki i aloha lākou

I koʻu ʻike mua ʻana i kaʻu kaikamahine, manaʻo wau, "ʻAʻole au i ʻike iā ʻoe." ʻAʻole ʻo ia i like me aʻu ma ka helehelena a, i ka wā i maopopo koke ai, ʻokoʻa loa kona ʻano. E like me ka ʻōlelo a koʻu mau mākua, i koʻu wā kamaliʻi he keiki mālie. He ʻokoʻa kaʻu kaikamahine. E uē ʻo ia i ka pō a pau i ko māua hoʻāʻo ʻana me kaʻu kāne e hoʻomaha iā ia. A laila ua luhi mākou i ka ʻike ʻana i ka mea nui - me kāna uē ʻana, ua hōʻike ke kaikamahine iā mākou he kanaka kūʻokoʻa ʻo ia.

ʻO kā mākou kamaʻilio ʻana me nā keiki e hoʻoholo i ke ʻano o ko lākou launa ʻana me ka honua o waho i ka wā e hiki mai ana. ʻO ia ke kumu he mea nui e wehewehe i nā keiki i ko mākou aloha iā lākou no ko lākou ʻano. Pono mākou e kōkua iā lākou e aʻo i ka hilinaʻi i nā mākua, mālama i ko lākou mau manaʻo, a mālama i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe me ke aloha. E kōkua nā kamaʻilio hūnā iā mākou i kēia. Hiki ke loli nā kumuhana i ka wā e ulu ana nā keiki, akā aia ʻelima mau ʻōlelo nui e pono e hoʻihoʻi pinepine ʻia.

1. Ua aloha ʻia ʻoe no kou ʻano a me kāu e lilo ai.

"ʻAʻole au makemake i ka hakakā ʻana me kou kaikunāne, akā aloha au iā ʻoe." “Makemake ʻoe i kēia mele, akā i kēia manawa ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake ia mele. He mea hoihoi loa ka ʻike ʻana i ka loli ʻana o kāu mau makemake i nā makahiki!

ʻO ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i kāu mau keiki he aloha ʻoe iā lākou no ko lākou ʻano a ʻo wai lākou e lilo ai i ka wā e hiki mai ana e kūkulu i ka hilinaʻi a hoʻokumu i kahi pilina paʻa. E kūkulu i nā pilina ma muli o nā hana hui, e hana pū i nā mea a nā keiki e makemake ai e hana. E noʻonoʻo i kā lākou mau leʻaleʻa a me nā makemake. Ke noho pū ʻoe me kāu mau keiki, mai hoʻopilikia ʻia e ka hana, nā hana hale, a i ʻole ke kelepona. He mea nui e hōʻike i nā keiki i kou nānā pono ʻana iā lākou.

ʻO nā keiki i kūkulu i nā pilina pili paʻa me ko lākou mau mākua, ʻoi aku ka kiʻekiʻe o ka manaʻo ponoʻī a me ka ʻoi aku ka ikaika. Makemake lākou e hōʻike i ke aloha a me ke aloha. Ua hoʻomohala lākou i nā mākau noʻonoʻo koʻikoʻi a ʻoi aku ka ʻike o ka kūleʻa hoʻonaʻauao i hoʻohālikelike ʻia me nā keiki i kūkulu ʻole i ia pilina me ko lākou mau mākua.

2. E kōkua kou mau manaʻo i kou mau mākua e hoʻomaopopo i kāu mea e pono ai.

"Ke lohe nei au e uē ana ʻoe a ke hoʻāʻo nei au e hoʻomaopopo i kāu mea e noi nei i kēia manawa. E hoʻāʻo wau e paʻa iā ʻoe ma kahi ʻano ʻokoʻa. E ʻike kākou inā kōkua ia. "I koʻu makemake e hiamoe, lilo wau i mea capricious. Makemake paha ʻoe e hiamoe i kēia manawa?

He mea maikaʻi ke noho pū me nā keiki i ka wā maikaʻi lākou, maʻalahi ka launa pū ʻana, a leʻaleʻa i ka noho ʻana. Akā,ʻo nā keiki, e like me nā mākua,ʻike i nā manaʻo maikaʻiʻole: ke kaumaha, ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa, ka manaʻolana, ka huhū, ka makaʻu. Hōʻike pinepine nā keiki i kēia mau manaʻo ma o ka uē ʻana, ka huhū, a me ka hana kolohe. E nānā pono i nā manaʻo o nā keiki. E hōʻike ana kēia i kou mālama ʻana i ko lākou mau manaʻo a hiki iā lākou ke hilinaʻi iā ʻoe.

Inā pilikia ʻoe i kou wā kamaliʻi, e nīnau iā ʻoe iho i kēia mau nīnau:

• He ʻoiaʻiʻo kaʻu mau manaʻo no nā keiki?
• Ua aʻo anei au i nā keiki i nā mākau e pono ai?
• He aha nā mākau e pono ai lākou e hoʻomaʻamaʻa hou aku?
• Pehea ka manaʻo o nā keiki i kēia manawa? Malia paha ua luhi a pilikia paha lākou e noʻonoʻo pono ai?
• Pehea ka hopena o koʻu mau manaʻo i kaʻu hana i nā keiki?

3. Aia nā ʻano like ʻole e hōʻike ai i nā manaʻo.

“Maikaʻi ka huhū, akā ʻaʻole wau makemake i kou uē ʻana. Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo, "Ua huhū au." Hiki iā ʻoe ke hōʻike i kou manaʻo ma ke hehi ʻana i kou wāwae a i ʻole ka hopu ʻana i kahi uluna ma mua o ka uē ʻana.

"I kekahi manawa i nā manawa kaumaha, makemake wau e haʻi i kekahi e pili ana i koʻu mau manaʻo a puliki. A i kekahi manawa pono wau e noho mehameha. He aha kou manaʻo e hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe i kēia manawa?"

No nā pēpē, ʻo ka uē a me ka uē wale ke ala e hōʻike ai i nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole. Akā ʻaʻole mākou makemake e hōʻike nā keiki ʻōpio i nā manaʻo ma kēia ʻano. I ka ulu ʻana o ko lākou lolo a me ka ulu ʻana o kā lākou mau huaʻōlelo, loaʻa iā lākou ka hiki ke koho pehea lākou e hōʻike ai i ko lākou mau manaʻo.

E kamaʻilio me kāu keiki e pili ana i nā lula no ka hōʻike ʻana i nā manaʻo i loko o kou ʻohana. Pehea e hiki ai i nā keiki a me nā mākua ke hōʻike i nā manaʻo e puka mai ana? E hoʻohana i nā puke noʻeau e hōʻike i kāu keiki he manaʻo ko kēlā me kēia kanaka. ʻO ka heluhelu pū ʻana he manawa kūpono e kamaʻilio ai e pili ana i nā manaʻo paʻakikī i ʻike ʻia e nā ʻano like ʻole a hoʻomaʻamaʻa i ka hoʻoponopono pilikia me ka ʻole o ke komo ʻana i ka manaʻo i ke kūlana.

No ka mea kākau: ʻO Shona Tomaini he kanaka psychologist a he kumu ma ke Kulanui o Oregon nāna e hoʻomohala i nā papahana e hoʻomohala i nā mākau pilikanaka a me nā manaʻo i nā keiki a me nā pākeke.