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Aia kekahi manaʻo ua hoihoi ʻoe i ke ʻano kāne like ʻole āu i kūpono ʻole ai? A laila pono ʻoe e kālailai i ka pilina me ke kāne ʻē. Inā hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻimi i ke ʻano o ke ʻano o ke kāne, nā ʻano, a me ke kūlana, pono e hoʻomaopopo i ke kumu. ʻO ka psychotherapist Zoya Bogdanova kōkua e kāpae i ka palapala.
I ke ola, ʻaʻohe mea i hana hou ʻia e like me ia, ʻoi aku hoʻi i ka pilina. Hana ʻia ka hana hou ʻana a hiki i ka pau ʻana o kekahi pōʻai. Ke kau nei i kahi kikoʻī i ke kaʻina hana, loaʻa iā mākou ka hoʻomaka o kahi pōʻai hou.
Pehea e "hana" i ka pilina me ke kāne? Hoʻokomo ka wahine i nā kāne like ʻole i loko o kona ola a hiki i kona hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ke kumu o kēia hana.
No ka laʻana, lohe pinepine au i nā hoʻopiʻi mai nā mea kūʻai aku e pili ana i nā hoa lili a nāwaliwali paha. Makemake nā wahine e ʻimi i kahi mea hilinaʻi iā ia iho i koho ʻia, me kahi kumu i loko e hiki ke lilo i kākoʻo a me ka pale. Auē, ʻo ka mea ʻē aʻe: loaʻa iā mākou ka mea a mākou e holo ai.
He aha nā nīnau ʻehā e nīnau ai iā ʻoe iho?
E ʻimi i ka manawa kaʻawale inā ʻaʻohe mea e hoʻohuli iā ʻoe, hoʻomaha a nānā. A laila e lawe i ka peni a me ka pepa a pane i ʻehā mau nīnau:
- E kākau i kahi papa inoa o nā ʻano hiʻohiʻona (a hiki i ka 10) āu e makemake nui ai e ʻike i kāu hoa pili a i hāʻawi ʻia me nā ʻano pilikino kokoke a mana paha iā ʻoe.
- E hōʻailona a hiki i 10 mau hiʻohiʻona e hoʻohuli iā ʻoe i nā kāne a ʻaʻole makemake ʻoe e ʻike iā lākou i kāu mea i koho ai, akā ua hālāwai mua ʻoe iā lākou i kekahi o kou ʻohana, nā hoaaloha, nā ʻohana.
- E kākau i kāu moeʻuhane i makemake nui ʻia i ka wā kamaliʻi: ʻo ka mea āu i makemake ai e loaʻa, akā ʻaʻole i hiki (ua pāpā ʻia, ʻaʻole kūʻai ʻia, ʻaʻole hiki ke hoʻokō). No ka laʻana, i kou wā kamaliʻi, ua moeʻuhane ʻoe i kou lumi ponoʻī, akā ua koi ʻia ʻoe e noho me kou kaikuahine a i ʻole kaikunāne.
- E hoʻomanaʻo i ka manawa ʻoluʻolu a mehana loa mai ka wā kamaliʻi - he aha ka mea e hauʻoli ai ʻoe, e hoʻohauʻoli ai, e waimaka ai ka palupalu.
I kēia manawa e heluhelu i ke ʻano o kēlā me kēia helu mai ke ʻano o ke kānāwai o ke kaulike a me nā ʻuhane ʻohana.
Penei ka decoding: hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa ka mea āu e makemake ai ma ka pauku 1 wale nō ma hope o ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻana i ke kūlana me ka paukū 2, a e ʻae kēia iā ʻoe e hoʻokō i kāu moeʻuhane mai ka paukū 3 a manaʻo i kāu mea i kākau ai ma ka paukū 4.
A hiki i kēlā manawa, e hālāwai ʻoe i ka mea āu e inaina ai a holo mai loko mai o kāu hoa (heluhelu i ka helu 2). No ka mea, ʻo kēia mau hiʻohiʻona o ke kanaka i kamaʻāina a hoʻomaopopo ʻia iā ʻoe a kokoke i kahi ʻano - ke noho nei ʻoe a noho pū me kēia, a ʻo kekahi mea ʻē aʻe i kamaʻāina ʻole iā ʻoe.
Makemake ka wahine e ʻimi i kahi mea hilinaʻi iā ia iho i hiki ke lilo i kākoʻo a pale iā ia, akā loaʻa iā ia kāna mea e holo ai.
ʻO kahi hiʻohiʻona maʻamau e kōkua i ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana: ua ulu ke kaikamahine i loko o ka ʻohana o nā mākua ʻona a, i ka wā oʻo, mare i ka mea inu, a i kekahi manawa ua hoʻomaka kāna kāne pōmaikaʻi e inu i ka hue.
Nui mākou e koho i kahi hoa pili me ka subconsciously, a ʻo ke ʻano i koho ʻia i kamaʻāina i ka wahine - ua ulu ʻo ia i loko o kahi ʻohana like a, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole ʻo ia i inu i ka waiʻona, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi iā ia e noho me ka ʻona. Pēlā nō i ke kanaka lili a nāwaliwali paha. ʻO ka maʻamau, ʻoiai nā hiʻohiʻona maikaʻi ʻole e hoʻomaopopo i ka ʻano o ka mea i koho ʻia, ʻike ka wahine i ka pane ʻana iā ia.
Pehea e puka ai i waho o ka pōʻai ʻino o nā pilina maikaʻi ʻole
He mea maʻalahi ka haʻalele ʻana i kēia pōʻai. E lawe i kahi peni a hoʻohui i nā paukū 1 a me 2 i nā hiʻohiʻona maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole āu i ʻike ʻole ai me kāu poʻe aloha, nā poʻe mai kou kaiapuni, nā mana a me nā ʻano pilikino āu e inaina nei. Pono kēia e komo i nā ʻano ʻano ʻike ʻole, nā ʻano maʻamau, nā mākau, nā hoʻolālā ʻano hana ʻaʻole mai kāu mau hiʻohiʻona a me nā ʻohana.
A laila e hoʻopiha i ka nīnau nīnau like no ʻoe iho - e kākau i nā hiʻohiʻona hou āu e makemake ai e loaʻa, a me nā mea āu e makemake ai e kāpae koke. E noʻonoʻo ʻoe pehea ʻoe e nānā ai i kahi hiʻohiʻona hou, a hoʻāʻo iā ʻoe iho a me kāu hoa hou, e like me ka lole. E hoʻomanaʻo i nā mea hou a pau he mea ʻoluʻolu ʻole ia: me he mea lā he naʻaupō ʻoe a ʻaʻole loa e hoʻokō ʻia nā loli i makemake ʻia.
ʻO ka hoʻoikaika kino kinesthetic maʻalahi e kōkua i ka pale ʻana i kēia pilikia: i kēlā me kēia lā, e hoʻomaka i ke kakahiaka ʻapōpō, palaki i kou mau niho me kou lima ʻē aʻe. Inā lima ʻākau ʻoe, a laila hema, inā lima hema, a laila ʻākau. A hana i kēia no 60 mau lā.
E hilinaʻi iaʻu, hiki mai ka loli. ʻO ka mea nui he mea hou, nā hana maʻamau e huki i nā mea āpau me lākou.