ʻO ka poʻe i loaʻa i nā maʻi maʻi e koi pinepine ʻia e hūnā i ka ʻeha a me nā pilikia ma hope o kahi mask o ka maikaʻi. Hiki iā ia ke pale aku i ka ʻimi makemake ʻole, a i ʻole hiki ke pōʻino - pili ia i ke ʻano o kou ʻaʻahu ʻana, wahi a ka psychotherapist Kathy Veyrant.
Noho ʻo Kathy Wyrant, he psychotherapist a me ka mea hana kaiaulu, ma ʻAmelika, ʻo ia hoʻi, e like me nā hoa aloha he nui, ke hoʻomākaukau nei ʻo ia no ka hoʻolauleʻa ʻana i ka Halloween. Hoʻonani ʻia nā hale, hoʻomākaukau nā keiki i nā lole o nā superheroes, nā iwi iwi a me nā ʻuhane. Ke hoʻomaka nei ka noi ʻana i nā mea ʻono - trick-or-treat: i ke ahiahi o ʻOkakopa 31, kikeke nā hui i hoʻokuʻu ʻia i nā hale a, ma ke ʻano he kānāwai, loaʻa nā mea ʻono mai nā mea nona ka makaʻu. Ua kaulana hoʻi ka lā hoʻomaha ma Rūsia - akā naʻe, loaʻa iā mākou nā kuʻuna ponoʻī o ka ʻaʻahu masquerade.
Ke nānā nei ʻo ia i kona mau hoalauna liʻiliʻi e hoʻāʻo ikaika i nā hiʻohiʻona like ʻole, huli ʻo Cathy i kahi kumuhana koʻikoʻi, e hoʻohālikelike ana i ka ʻaʻahu ʻana i nā ʻaʻahu me nā makamaka. "He nui ka poʻe e loaʻa ana i nā maʻi maʻi maʻi, ma nā lā pule a me nā lā hoʻomaha, e ʻaʻahu i kā lākou" lole maikaʻi "me ka ʻole e wehe.
ʻO kāna mau hiʻohiʻona nui he make-up a me kahi pale huna i ka maʻi. Hiki i nā poʻe maʻi maʻi ke hōʻike me kā lākou ʻano a pau i ka pololei o nā mea a pau, e hōʻole ana i ka paʻakikī o ka maʻi a i ʻole e noho mālie e pili ana i ka ʻeha, e hoʻāʻo ʻaʻole e haʻalele i hope o ka poʻe a puni iā lākou me ko lākou kūlana a me ke kino kīnā.
I kekahi manawa hoʻohana ʻia kēlā ʻaʻahu no ka mea kōkua ia e noho lana a manaʻoʻiʻo ua pololei nā mea a pau. I kekahi manawa - no ka mea ʻaʻole mākaukau ke kanaka e wehe a kaʻana like i ka ʻike pilikino e pili ana i ke olakino. A i kekahi manawa - no ka mea, ke kuhikuhi nei nā loina o ke kaiāulu, a ʻaʻohe koho o ka poʻe maʻi e hoʻokō me lākou.
kaomi lehulehu
"Ua hopohopo ka nui o kaʻu mau mea maʻi maʻi e hoʻokaumaha i kā lākou mau hoaaloha a me nā mea aloha. He manaʻo ikaika ko lākou e nalowale lākou i ka pilina ma ka hōʻike ʻana me ka ʻole o ka "kūpono o ka maikaʻi" i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, "wahi a Katie Wierant.
Manaʻo ʻo Psychoanalyst Judith Alpert ua paʻa ka makaʻu i ka make, ka maʻi a me ka nāwaliwali i ka moʻomeheu o ke Komohana: "Ke hana nei mākou i ka mea maikaʻi loa e pale aku i nā hoʻomanaʻo o ka palupalu kanaka a me ka make hiki ʻole ke pale aku. Pono nā poʻe me nā maʻi maʻi e hoʻomalu iā lākou iho i ʻole e kumakaia i ko lākou kūlana ma kekahi ʻano.
I kekahi manawa koi ʻia ka mea maʻi e nānā i nā mea koʻikoʻi e nalowale ana mai kona ola ʻana, no ka mea ʻaʻole lākou i mākaukau e hoʻomanawanui i ko lākou mau manaʻo paʻakikī e kū mai ana i ka ʻike ʻana i kona ʻeha. ʻO ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa hohonu e lawe mai i ka mea maʻi a me ka hoʻāʻo e wehe, i ka pane ʻana i lohe ʻo ia i kahi noi ʻaʻole e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kāna mau pilikia olakino. No laila hiki i ke ola ke aʻo i ke kanaka ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka wehe ʻole ʻana i ka mask "Ua maikaʻi wau".
"E hana, e maikaʻi!"
ʻAʻole hiki ke ʻae ʻia nā kūlana inā hiki ʻole ke hūnā i ke kūlana o kekahi, no ka laʻana, ke hoʻopau ʻia ke kanaka i loko o ka haukapila a i ʻole maopopo, ʻike ʻia no nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, nalowale ke kino. Me he mea lā ʻaʻole manaʻo ka lehulehu e hoʻomau ka "ʻaʻahu maikaʻi" e hūnā i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Eia naʻe, manaʻo ʻia ka mea maʻi e kau koke i ka mask o ka "heroic sufferer".
ʻAʻole hoʻopiʻi ka mea maʻi heroic, hoʻomanawanui i nā pilikia me ka mālie, ʻakaʻaka i ka wā hiki ʻole ke ʻeha, a hoʻohauʻoli i ka poʻe a puni iā ia me ka manaʻo maikaʻi. Kākoʻo nui ʻia kēia kiʻi e ka hui. Wahi a Alpert, "hoʻohanohano ʻia ka mea e hoʻomanawanui i ka ʻeha me ka minoʻaka."
ʻO ka heroine o ka puke "Little Women" ʻo Beth kahi hiʻohiʻona o ke kiʻi o ka mea maʻi heroic. Loaʻa iā ia ka helehelena ʻānela a me ke ʻano, ʻae ʻo ia me ka haʻahaʻa i ka maʻi a me ka hiki ʻole o ka make, hōʻike i ka wiwo ʻole a me ke ʻano haʻahaʻa. ʻAʻohe wahi no ka makaʻu, ka ʻawaʻawa, ka ʻino a me ka physiology i kēia mau hiʻohiʻona emasculated. ʻAʻohe wahi no ke kanaka. No ka mai maoli.
Kiʻi kūkulu ʻia
Hiki i ka poʻe ke koho me ka noʻonoʻo - e nānā i ke olakino ma mua o ko lākou ʻano maoli. Malia paha, ma ka hōʻike ʻana i ka piʻi ʻana o ka ikaika, ʻoi aku ka hauʻoli. A ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e wehe a hōʻike i kou nāwaliwali a me kou ʻeha i ka poʻe ʻaʻole hiki ke mālama pono. ʻO ke koho o ka pehea a me ka mea e hōʻike ai a haʻi i nā manawa a pau me ka mea maʻi.
Eia naʻe, hoʻomanaʻo mai ʻo Kathy Veyrant iā mākou i ka mea nui o ka hoʻomau mau ʻana a me ka ʻike i ke kumu maoli no kāu koho. ʻO ka makemake e hūnā i ka maʻi ma lalo o ke ʻano o ka mea maikaʻi i ʻōlelo ʻia e ka makemake e mālama i ka pilikino, a i ʻole ka makaʻu i ka hōʻole ʻana o ka lehulehu? He hopohopo nui anei ka haʻalele ʻana a hōʻole ʻia paha, e hōʻike ana i ke kūlana maoli o kekahi? E ʻike ʻia ka hoʻāhewa ʻana i nā maka o ka poʻe aloha, e hoʻokaʻawale paha lākou iā lākou iho inā pau ka ikaika o ka mea maʻi e hōʻike i kahi kanaka hauʻoli maikaʻi?
Hiki i ka lole o ka maikaʻi ke loaʻa ka hopena maikaʻi ʻole i ke ʻano o ka mea nāna e ʻaʻahu. Ua hōʻike mai nā haʻawina inā maopopo ke kanaka ua mākaukau kekahi e ʻike iā ia me ka hauʻoli wale nō, hoʻomaka ʻo ia e kaumaha.
Pehea e komo ai i ka lole
"I kēlā me kēia makahiki ke kakali nei au i nā kaikamahine a me nā keikikāne e holo ana i koʻu puka no nā mea ʻono. Hauʻoli nui lākou e pāʻani i kā lākou ʻāpana! Māhele ʻo Katie Wierant. Aneane manaʻo kekahi superman ʻelima makahiki hiki iā ia ke lele. Ua mākaukau ka hōkū kiʻiʻoniʻoni ʻehiku makahiki e hele i ka ʻulaʻula. Hoʻokomo wau i ka pāʻani a hoʻohālike e manaʻoʻiʻo i kā lākou mau masks a me nā kiʻi, mahalo i ka pēpē Hulk a hilahila i ka ʻuhane me ka makaʻu. Hoʻokomo ʻoluʻolu a noʻonoʻo mākou i ka hana ʻoliʻoli, kahi e pāʻani ai nā keiki i nā kuleana a lākou i koho ai.
Inā'ōlelo kekahi kanaka makua i kekahi mea e like me: "ʻAʻoleʻoe he kamāliʻiwahine, he kaikamahine wale nōʻoe mai kahi hale e pili kokoke ana," e huhū mau ka pēpē. Eia nō naʻe, inā ʻōlelo nā keiki he ʻoiaʻiʻo kā lākou kuleana a ʻaʻohe keiki liʻiliʻi e ola ana ma lalo o ka ʻaʻahu iwi, he mea weliweli maoli kēia. ʻOiaʻiʻo, i ka wā o kēia pāʻani, wehe nā keiki i kā lākou mau maka, me he mea lā e hoʻomanaʻo ana iā lākou iho: "ʻAʻole wau he monster maoli, ʻo wau wale nō!"
Hiki i nā kānaka ke manaʻo e pili ana i ka "welfare suit" e like me ka manaʻo o nā keiki e pili ana i kā lākou lole Halloween? wahi a Kathy Wierant. Inā ʻaʻahu ʻia i kēlā me kēia manawa, kōkua ia i ka ikaika, leʻaleʻa a me ke kūpaʻa. Akā inā hoʻohui ʻoe me ke kiʻi, ʻaʻole hiki i ka poʻe a puni ʻoe ke ʻike hou aku i kahi kanaka ola ma hope ona ... A hiki iā ia iho ke poina i kona ʻano maoli.
E pili ana i ka loea: ʻO Cathy Willard Wyrant he psychotherapist a me ka limahana hana.