I kekahi manawa, ua wela ʻoe me ka makemake a ʻaʻole i manaʻoʻiʻo e hiki mai ka lā e makemake ai ʻoe e moe me kahi puke ma mua o ka moe ʻana me kāu hoa aloha. Wahi a nā kānaka noiʻi, ua lilo ka emi ʻana o ka makemake moe wahine i ka maʻi maʻi. Pono mākou i ka Viagra wahine a i ʻole e nānā wale mākou i ka pilikia mai kēlā ʻaoʻao?
He 42 makahiki ʻo Ekaterina, ʻo kāna hoa kāne ʻo Artem he 45, ua hui pū lāua no ʻeono makahiki. Ua noʻonoʻo mau ʻo ia iā ia iho he ʻano hoihoi, loaʻa iā ia nā pilina maʻamau, a me nā mea aloha ʻē aʻe, koe wale nō ʻo Artem. I nā makahiki mua, ua ikaika loa ko lākou ola wahine, akā i kēia manawa, ua ʻae ʻo Ekaterina, "me he mea lā ua hoʻohuli ʻia kahi hoʻololi."
Ke aloha mau nei lākou kekahi i kekahi, akā ma waena o ka wahine a me ka ʻauʻau ahiahi hoʻomaha me kahi puke maikaʻi, e koho ʻo ia i ka hope me ke kānalua ʻole. "Ua ʻeha iki ʻo Artyom i kēia, akā ua luhi au a makemake wau e uē," wahi āna.
ʻO Dr. Laurie Mintz, kākā'ōlelo noʻonoʻo no ka hoʻonaʻauao ma ke Kulanui o Florida, ma The Path to Passionate Sex for a Tired Woman, papa inoa ʻelima mau ʻanuʻu e kōkua ai i ka hoʻāla hou ʻana i ka makemake: nā manaʻo, kamaʻilio, manawa, paʻi, pili.
ʻO ka mea nui loa, e like me kāna, ʻo ka mea mua - "manaʻo." Inā mākou e lawe i ke kuleana no ko mākou leʻaleʻa ponoʻī, hiki iā mākou ke hana i kahi ala i waho o ka moe kolohe.
Psychologies: He nīnau kūpono no ke aha ka puke no nā wahine wale nō? ʻAʻole pilikia nā kāne i ka makemake moe kolohe?
Lori Mintz: Manaʻo wau he mea pili i ka biology. He haʻahaʻa ka testosterone ma mua o nā kāne, a ʻo ia hoʻi ke kuleana no ka ikaika o ka makemake. Ke luhi a kaumaha paha ke kanaka, emi mai ka testosterone, a e pili ana keia i na wahine. Eia kekahi, ʻoi aku ka nui o lākou i ka mea i kapa ʻia ʻo "erotic plasticity": ʻoi aku ka nui o nā pilikia o waho i nā wahine.
He kuleana ko mākou mau manaʻo? ʻO ia hoʻi, hōʻoiaʻiʻo nā wahine iā lākou iho ʻaʻole lākou makemake hou i ka moekolohe? A i ʻole, ʻoi aku ko lākou makemake iā ia ma mua o nā kāne?
Nui ka poʻe makaʻu e hōʻoia i ke koʻikoʻi o ka moekolohe. ʻO kekahi moʻolelo ʻē aʻe he mea maʻalahi a kūlohelohe ka moe, a mākaukau mau mākou no ia mea. No ka mea, i kou wā ʻōpiopio, ʻo ia ka manaʻo. A inā nalowale ka maʻalahi me ka makahiki, manaʻo mākou ʻaʻole mea nui ka wahine.
Pono ʻoe i ka moekolohe. ʻAʻole kēia he puʻupuʻu kūʻai no nā kālepa me kahi hoa. E hauʻoli paha
ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻole kēia he wai a meaʻai paha, hiki iā ʻoe ke ola me ka ʻole. Akā ke hāʻawi nei ʻoe i ka leʻaleʻa nui a me ke kino.
ʻO kekahi manaʻo kaulana ʻo ia ka nui o nā wahine i hana nui iā lākou iho ma ka hōʻole ʻana i kā lākou hoa pili. No laila, hoʻopaʻi lākou iā ia no ke kōkua ʻole ʻana i ka hale.
ʻAe, hiki pinepine ia - nā wahine huhū i nā kāne no ko lākou palaualelo. Hiki ke hoomaopopo ia lakou. Akā inā hoʻohana ʻoe i ka moekolohe ma ke ʻano he hoʻopaʻi a uku paha, hiki iā ʻoe ke poina e lawe mai ia i ka leʻaleʻa. Pono ʻoe i ka moekolohe. ʻAʻole kēia he puʻupuʻu kūʻai no nā kālepa me kahi hoa. E hauʻoli paha. Pono mākou e hoʻomanaʻo iā mākou iho i kēia.
Ma hea e hoʻomaka ai?
E kau i ka makemake. E noʻonoʻo iā ia i ka lā a i ka wā moe. Loaʻa i kēlā me kēia lā i ka "sex ʻelima mau minuke": e hoʻomaha i kāu mau hana a hoʻomanaʻo i ka moe maikaʻi loa āu i loaʻa ai. No ka laʻana, pehea ʻoe i ʻike ai i kahi orgasm hoʻohiwahiwa a i ʻole ke aloha ʻana i kahi wahi maʻamau. Hiki iā ʻoe ke noʻonoʻo i kekahi noʻonoʻo hoihoi. I ka manawa like, e hana i nā hoʻomaʻamaʻa Kegel: hoʻopaʻa a hoʻomaha i nā ʻiʻo vaginal.
Aia kekahi mau stereotypes e pale iā ʻoe mai ka leʻaleʻa i ka moekolohe?
Manaʻo ka poʻe he nui me ka makahiki ʻaʻohe mea e hoʻololi i ko lākou ola wahine. ʻO kaʻoiaʻiʻo, i loko o nā makahiki, pono ʻoe e aʻo hou i kāu moekolohe, e hoʻomaopopo i ka pili ʻana i kou nohona o kēia manawa. Malia paha e hiki mai ka makemake ma mua, akā i ka wā moe.
No laila ke hoapono 'oe i ka "sex on duty"? He hoʻonā maoli paha kēia i ka pilikia makemake?
E pili ana i ka pilina. Inā ʻike ka wahine i ka hele pinepine ʻana o ka makemake ma hope o ka hoʻoholo noʻonoʻo e moe kolohe, he mea maʻamau iā ia. ʻAʻole ʻo ia e manaʻo ua hewa kekahi mea iā ia, akā e hauʻoli wale ʻo ia i ka moekolohe. A laila, ʻaʻole ia he kuleana, akā he ʻoliʻoli. Akā inā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo: "No laila, ʻo kēia ka Pōʻakolu, hele mākou i waho o ka moe kolohe, hiki iaʻu ke loaʻa i ka hiamoe nui," he kuleana kēia.
ʻO ka manaʻo nui o kāu puke, hiki i ka wahine ke hoʻomalu i kona makemake iā ia iho. Akā, ʻaʻole anei kāna hoa pili i kēia hana?
ʻO ka manawa pinepine, ho'ōki ka hoa i ka hoʻomaka ʻana i ka moekolohe inā ʻike ʻo ia ua nalowale ka makemake o ka wahine. No kona makemake ʻole e hōʻole ʻia. Akā inā lilo ka wahine i mea hoʻomaka iā ia iho, he holomua nui kēia. Hiki ke hauʻoli loa ka manaʻo a me ka hoʻolālā ʻana ke hoʻōki ʻoe i ka hana ʻana i ka moe kolohe.