ʻO ka makuahine a me ke keiki: ʻo wai ka mea nui?

Ma nā papa

Ma mua o ka ho'āʻo e hoʻomaopopo i ka manaʻo o wai ka mea nui, makuahine a keiki paha, pono ʻoe e pane i ka nīnau no ke kumu e pono ai mākou i nā manaʻo. Pehea lākou i hoʻomaka ai a he aha ka hana a lākou e hana ai?

Ma ka ʻōlelo ʻepekema, ʻo nā manaʻo ke ʻano o ke kanaka e pili ana i ka loiloi o ke koʻikoʻi o nā hanana e hana nei a puni iā ​​​​ia a me ka hōʻike ʻana o kona ʻano iā lākou.

Akā inā haʻalele mākou i nā ʻōlelo koʻikoʻi, ʻo nā manaʻo ko mākou waiwai, nā alakaʻi i ko mākou mau makemake a me nā pono. ʻO kahi kukui e hoʻomālamalama ana i loko o ka wā ʻaʻole i hoʻokō ʻia ko mākou mau pono kūlohelohe - inā no ka noʻonoʻo, ka naʻau, ka ʻuhane, a me ke kino paha. A i ʻole, ma ka ʻokoʻa, ua māʻona lākou - inā mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā hanana "maikaʻi".

A ke loaʻa kekahi mea e kaumaha ai mākou, huhū, makaʻu, hauʻoli, ʻaʻole mākou e hana me ko mākou ʻuhane wale nō, akā me ko mākou kino pū kekahi.

No ka hoʻoholo ʻana i kahi holomua a hana i kahi ala e hoʻokō ai i kā mākou pono, pono mākou i ka "huela". No laila, ʻo nā hormones i hoʻokuʻu ʻia e ko mākou kino i ka pane ʻana i kahi "hoʻoulu o waho" ʻo ia ka wahie e hiki ai iā mākou ke hana. ʻIke ʻia ʻo ko mākou mau manaʻo ka ikaika e koi ai i ko mākou kino a me ko mākou noʻonoʻo i kekahi ʻano ʻano. He aha kā mākou makemake e hana i kēia manawa - uē a uē paha? Holo a hoʻokuʻu paha?

Aia kekahi mea e like me "nā manaʻo kumu". Basic — no ka mea, ʻike mākou a pau iā lākou, i kēlā me kēia makahiki a me ka ʻole. ʻO ke kaumaha, ka makaʻu, ka huhū, ka hoʻopailua, ke kāhāhā, ka hauʻoli, a me ka hoʻowahāwahā. Hana mākou me ka naʻau ma muli o ke ʻano hana kūlohelohe e hāʻawi i ka "pane hormonal" i kahi mea hoʻoulu.

Inā ʻaʻohe nīnau me ka hauʻoli a me ke kāhāhā, a laila ke kau nei ka manaʻo "ʻino" i kekahi manawa e hāpai i nā nīnau. No ke aha mākou e pono ai iā lākou? Inā ʻaʻole kēia "pūnaewele hōʻailona" ʻaʻole e ola ke kanaka: ʻo ia ka mea e haʻi mai iā mākou ua hewa kekahi mea a pono mākou e hoʻoponopono. Pehea e hana ai kēia ʻōnaehana? Eia kekahi mau laʻana maʻalahi e pili ana i ke ola o ka mea liʻiliʻi loa.

• Inā ʻaʻole lōʻihi ka lōʻihi o ka makuahine ma mua o ka mea maʻamau, ʻike ka pēpē i ka hopohopo a me ke kaumaha, ʻaʻole manaʻo ua palekana ʻo ia.
• Inā haʻalulu ka makuahine, "heluhelu" ke keiki i kona ʻano ma kēia hōʻailona waha ʻole, a makaʻu ʻo ia.
• Inā paʻa ka makuahine i kāna mau hana ponoʻī, kaumaha ka pēpē.
• Inā ʻaʻole hānai ʻia ke keiki hou i ka manawa, huhū ʻo ia a uē no ia mea.
• Inā hāʻawi ʻia ke keiki i ka meaʻai ʻaʻole makemake ʻo ia, e like me ka broccoli, loaʻa iā ia ka hoʻopailua a me ka hoʻopailua.

ʻIke loa, no ke kamaliʻi, he mea kūlohelohe maoli ka manaʻo. Inā ʻaʻole i hōʻike ke keiki ʻōlelo ʻole i kona makuahine me ka huhū a me ke kaumaha ʻaʻole ʻo ia e māʻona, he mea paʻakikī iā ia ke hoʻomaopopo iā ia a hāʻawi iā ia i kāna mea e makemake ai a mālama paha i ka palekana.

Ua kōkua nā manaʻo kumu i ke ola kanaka no nā kenekulia. Inā ʻaʻohe hoʻopailua, hiki iā mākou ke ʻona i ka meaʻai ʻino. Inā ʻaʻohe makaʻu, hiki iā mākou ke lele mai kahi pali kiʻekiʻe a hāʻule. Inā ʻaʻohe ʻike e pili ana i ka mehameha, inā ʻaʻohe kaumaha, ʻaʻole mākou e hoʻokumu ʻohana a ʻaʻole e ola i kahi kūlana koʻikoʻi.

Ua like loa ʻoe me aʻu!

ʻO ka pēpē me ka maopopo, maopopo a haʻi koke i kona mau pono. No ke aha mai? Ma muli o ka ulu ʻana o ka ʻāʻī o kona lolo, ʻaʻole i oʻo ke ʻano o ke kino, ua uhi mau ʻia nā aʻalolo me ka myelin. A ʻo ka myelin kahi ʻano "duct tape" e kāohi ai i ke aʻalolo a hoʻoponopono i ka pane ʻana o ka naʻau.

ʻO ia ke kumu ʻaʻole hiki i ke keiki liʻiliʻi ke hoʻolohi i kāna hopena hormonal a pane koke a pololei i nā mea hoʻoikaika i loaʻa iā ia. Ma ka awelika, aʻo nā keiki i ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i kā lākou hopena ma kahi o ʻewalu mau makahiki.

ʻAʻole ʻokoʻa loa nā pono o ke kanaka makua ma ke ʻano o ke keiki pēpē. Ua "hoʻonohonohoʻia" ke keiki a me kona makuahine ma keʻano like. Loaʻa iā lākou ʻelua lima, ʻelua wāwae, nā pepeiao a me nā maka - a me nā pono kumu like. Makemake mākou e lohe ʻia, aloha ʻia, mahalo ʻia, e hāʻawi ʻia i ke kuleana e pāʻani a me ka manawa kaʻawale. Makemake mākou e manaʻo he mea nui a waiwai mākou, makemake mākou e manaʻo i ko mākou koʻikoʻi, kūʻokoʻa a me ka mākaukau.

A inā ʻaʻole i hoʻokō ʻia kā mākou pono, a laila mākou, e like me nā keiki, e "hoʻolei" i kekahi mau hormones i mea e hoʻokokoke ai i ka hoʻokō ʻana i kā mākou makemake. ʻO ka ʻokoʻa wale nō ma waena o nā keiki a me nā pākeke ʻo ia ka mea hiki i nā pākeke ke hoʻomalu i kā lākou ʻano i ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka mahalo i ka ʻike ola a me ka "hana" o myelin. Mahalo i kahi pūnaewele neural i kūkulu maikaʻi ʻia, hiki iā mākou ke lohe iā mākou iho. Mai poina e pili ana i nā mākau waha o ke kanaka makua. ʻO ka huaʻōlelo ke kī i ka holomua!

Hiki iā Māmā ke kali?

E like me nā kamaliʻi, lohe mākou a pau iā mākou iho a ʻike i ko mākou mau manaʻo. Akā, ke ulu nei mākou, ʻike mākou i ka hoʻokaumaha ʻia o ke kuleana a me nā hana he nui a poina i ke ʻano. Hoʻopau mākou i ko mākou mau makaʻu, hāʻawi mākou i kā mākou pono - ʻoi aku ka nui o kā mākou keiki. ʻO ka mea maʻamau, noho nā wahine me nā keiki i ko mākou ʻāina, no laila ua ʻoi aku ka pilikia ma mua o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.

ʻO nā makuahine e hoʻopiʻi nei e pili ana i ka puhi ʻana, ka luhi, a me nā manaʻo "ʻike ʻole" e ʻōlelo pinepine ʻia: "E hoʻomanawanui, he kanaka makua ʻoe a pono ʻoe e hana i kēia." A, ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka mea maʻamau: "He makuahine ʻoe." ʻO ka mea pōʻino, ma ka haʻi ʻana iā mākou iho "Pono wau" a ʻaʻole hoʻolohe i ka "makemake wau", haʻalele mākou i kā mākou makemake, makemake, nā leʻaleʻa. ʻAe, hana mākou i nā hana pilikanaka. He maikaʻi mākou no ke kaiāulu, akā maikaʻi anei mākou no mākou iho? Hūnā mākou i kā mākou mau pono i loko o kahi pahu mamao, pani iā ​​​​lākou me kahi laka a nalowale ke kī iā ia ...

Akā ʻo kā mākou pono, ʻoiaʻiʻo, mai ko mākou ʻike ʻole, ua like ia me ka moana hiki ʻole ke komo i loko o kahi aquarium. E paʻi lākou mai loko mai, huhū, a ma muli o ka hopena, e haki ka «dam» - koke a ma hope paha. ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana mai nā pono o kekahi, ka hoʻopau ʻana i nā makemake hiki ke hopena i ka hana hoʻomāinoino iā ia iho o nā ʻano like ʻole - no ka laʻana, lilo i kumu o ka ʻai nui ʻana, ka waiʻona, shopaholism. ʻO ka pinepine o ka hōʻole ʻana i nā makemake a me nā pono e alakaʻi i nā maʻi psychosomatic a me nā kūlana: nā poʻo, nā ʻiʻo ʻiʻo, hypertension.

Ke pani nei i ko mākou mau pono a me nā manaʻo i ka hale kākela, a laila hāʻawi mākou iā mākou iho, mai kā mākou "I". A ʻaʻole hiki i kēia ke hoʻoulu i ke kūʻē a me ka huhū.

Inā manaʻo mākou he manaʻo koʻikoʻi ka makuahine, ʻaʻole i loko o kona mau manaʻo ka pilikia a ʻaʻole hoʻi i ko lākou keu. Ua ho'ōki wale paha ʻo ia i ka mālama ʻana i kona mau makemake a me kona mau pono, me ka ʻoluʻolu iā ia iho. "Lohe" maikaʻi i ke keiki, akā ua haʻalele iā ia iho ...

Malia paha ma muli o ka lilo ʻana o ka ʻaha kanaka i mea pili keiki. Ke ulu nei ka naʻauao o ke kanaka, ke ulu nei ka waiwai o ke ola. Me he mea lā ua maloʻo ka poʻe: aloha nui mākou i nā keiki, makemake mākou e hāʻawi iā lākou i ka mea maikaʻi loa. Heluhelu mākou i nā puke akamai e pili ana i ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana a me ka hōʻeha ʻole i ke keiki. Ho'āʻo mākou e hahai i ke kumumanaʻo o ka pili. A he mea nui kēia!

Akā ʻaʻole pono ka manaʻo pili i nā makuahine e haʻalele iā lākou iho a hele i ka ʻālana ponoʻī. Ua ʻōlelo ʻo psychologist ʻo Julia Gippenreiter i ke ʻano o ka "hue o ka huhū." ʻO kēia ka moana like i hōʻike ʻia ma luna a lākou e hoʻāʻo nei e mālama i loko o ka aquarium. ʻAʻole māʻona ka pono o ke kanaka, a hoʻonui ka huhū i loko o mākou, a laila e kahe koke a ma hope paha. Kuhihewa ʻia kāna mau hōʻike ʻana no ka paʻa ʻole o ka naʻau.

E hoʻolohe i ka leo o ka nāwaliwali

Pehea e hiki ai iā mākou ke pale aku i ko mākou mau manaʻo a mālama iā lākou i lalo? Hoʻokahi wale nō pane: e hoʻolohe iā lākou, e ʻike i ko lākou koʻikoʻi. A e kamaʻilio iā ʻoe iho e like me ke kamaʻilio ʻana o ka makuahine paʻakikī i kāna mau keiki.

Hiki iā mākou ke kamaʻilio me kā mākou keiki i loko penei: “Ua hiki iaʻu ke lohe iā ʻoe. Inā huhū nui ʻoe, aia paha kekahi mea nui? ʻAʻole paha ʻoe e loaʻa i kahi mea āu e pono ai? Aloha au iā ʻoe a loaʻa iaʻu kahi ala e hoʻokō ai i kaʻu mau pono. "

Pono mākou e lohe i ka leo o ka nāwaliwali i ka ʻuhane. Ma ka mālama pono ʻana iā mākou iho, ke aʻo nei mākou i nā keiki e hoʻolohe i kā lākou mau pono kumu. Ma kā mākou hiʻohiʻona, hōʻike mākou he mea nui ʻaʻole wale ka hana home, hoʻomaʻemaʻe a hele i ka hana. He mea nui e hoʻolohe iā ʻoe iho a kaʻana like i kou mau manaʻo me nā mea aloha. A e noi iā lākou e mālama i ko mākou mau manaʻo me ka mālama, e mahalo iā lākou.

A inā pilikia ʻoe i kēia, a laila hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo pehea e kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā manaʻo maʻamau i loko o ke keʻena o ka psychologist, i nā kūlana o ka pilina pilikino palekana. A laila, liʻiliʻi liʻiliʻi, e kaʻana like iā lākou me ka honua.

ʻO wai ka mea mua?

Hiki iā mākou ke hōʻike i ko mākou mau manaʻo ma nā huaʻōlelo, hoʻohana i nā hoʻohālikelike a me nā hoʻohālikelike e hōʻike i ka hohonu o kā mākou ʻike. Hiki iā mākou ke lohe i ko mākou kino inā paʻakikī mākou e hoʻoholo pololei i ko mākou manaʻo.

A ʻo ka mea nui loa: ke lohe mākou iā mākou iho, ʻaʻole pono mākou e koho i nā manaʻo i ʻoi aku ka nui - ʻo kā mākou a i ʻole kā mākou mau keiki. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻo ke aloha no kekahi ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo e hoʻōki mākou i ka hoʻolohe ʻana i ko mākou leo ​​o loko.

Hiki iā mākou ke ʻoluʻolu me kahi keiki luhi, akā loaʻa pū kekahi manawa no kahi leʻaleʻa.

Hiki iā mākou ke hāʻawi i ka umauma i ka mea pololi, akā ʻaʻole hoʻi e ʻae ʻia e nahu ʻia, no ka mea, ʻeha ia iā mākou.

Hiki iā mākou ke hoʻopaʻa i kahi mea hiki ʻole ke hiamoe me ka ʻole o mākou, akā ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke hōʻole ua luhi maoli mākou.

Ma ke kōkua ʻana iā mākou iho, kōkua mākou i kā mākou mau keiki e lohe maikaʻi iā lākou iho. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, he mea nui ko mākou mau manaʻo.