ʻEhā mau huaʻōlelo e hoʻopau i ka pilina

"ʻAʻole ʻoe i nīnau no ia mea"

"I kēia mau lā, ma ka laina no ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana ma ke kahua mokulele, ua ʻike au i ke kamaʻilio ʻana o kahi kāne male," wahi a Chris Armstrong.

O ia:

“Ua hiki paha iā ʻoe ke haʻi mai iaʻu.

ʻO ia anei:

“ʻAʻole ʻoe i nīnau.

“He kālā nui ia. ʻAʻole pono wau e nīnau iā ʻoe. Ua manaʻo wau e haʻi mai ʻoe."

"He ʻokoʻa koʻikoʻi ma waena o "ʻaʻole wahaheʻe" a "ʻoiaʻiʻo," i manaʻoʻiʻo ai ka loea. — ʻO ka mea mālama i ka manaʻo o ka hoa pili e haʻi iā ia iho i nā mea e pilikia ai ka mea aloha. "ʻAʻole ʻoe i nīnau!" He huaʻōlelo maʻamau o ka mea hoʻomāinoino i hoʻopiʻi i ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe no nā mea āpau.

"ʻAʻole ʻoe i ʻōlelo, akā manaʻo ʻoe"

I kekahi manawa, maʻalahi mākou e pili i nā manaʻo a me nā makemake o nā hoa ʻaʻole lākou i leo, akā, e like me kā mākou i ʻike ʻole ʻia i kā lākou ʻōlelo. 'Ōleloʻo ia, "Ua luhi loa au." Ua lohe ʻo ia, "ʻAʻole oʻu makemake e hoʻolimalima manawa me ʻoe," a hoʻopiʻi koke iā ia no ia mea. Ua pale ʻo ia iā ia iho: "ʻAʻole wau i ʻōlelo i kēlā." Ke hoʻomau nei ʻo ia i ka hoʻouka ʻana: "ʻAʻole wau i ʻōlelo, akā manaʻo wau."

"Malia paha ma kekahi mau ʻano ua pololei kēia wahine," i ʻōlelo ai ʻo Armstrong. — Ke hoʻāʻo maoli nei kekahi poʻe e haʻalele i ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kahi hoa, e hōʻoiaʻiʻo ana iā lākou iho me ka luhi a luhi paha. Me ka liʻiliʻi, hiki i kēia ʻano ke hoʻololi i ka huhū passive i kahi mea aloha. Eia naʻe, hiki iā mākou iho ke lilo i mea hoʻomāinoino, e hōʻeha ana i kēlā ʻaoʻao me kā mākou mau kuhi.

Hoʻokuke mākou i ka hoa i kahi kihi, e koi ana iā mākou e pale iā mākou iho. A hiki iā mākou ke hoʻokō i ka hopena ʻē aʻe, ke manaʻo nei ʻo ia i ka hoʻopiʻi pono ʻole, hoʻōki loa ʻo ia i ka haʻi ʻana i kona mau manaʻo a me kona ʻike. No laila, ʻoiai inā pololei ʻoe e pili ana i ka mea ma hope o nā ʻōlelo a kahi hoa, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka wehe ʻana e pili ana i ka mea e hoʻopilikia nei iā ʻoe i kahi lewa mālie, ma mua o ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e hoʻohewa, e pili ana i ka mea āna i ʻōlelo ʻole ai.

"ʻAʻole au makemake i kēia e kani ʻino ʻole…"

"ʻO nā mea a pau e ʻōlelo ʻia ma hope o kēlā, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, e lilo i mea hōʻino a hōʻino i ka hoa. Inā ʻaʻole, ʻaʻole ʻoe e aʻo mua iā ia, e hoʻomanaʻo ana i ke kaʻi. "Inā pono ʻoe e haʻi mua i kāu mau ʻōlelo me kēlā mau ʻōlelo aʻo, pono anei ʻoe e ʻōlelo iā lākou?" Pono paha ʻoe e hoʻoponopono hou i kou manaʻo?

I ka hōʻeha ʻana i kahi mea aloha, hōʻole ʻoe iā ia i ke kuleana i nā manaʻo ʻawaʻawa, no ka mea, ua ʻōlelo ʻoe: "ʻAʻole wau i makemake e hōʻeha iā ʻoe." A e hōʻeha hou kēia iā ia.

"Aole au i ninau aku ia oe no keia"

"Hana mau ko'u hoa o Christina i na palule o kana kane a hana nui i na hana hale," wahi a Armstrong. “I kekahi lā ua noi ʻo ia iā ia e ʻohi i kona ʻaʻahu mai nā mea holoi maloʻo ma kona hoʻi ʻana i ka home, akā ʻaʻole ʻo ia. I loko o ka wela o ka hakakā, ua hōʻino ʻo Christina i kāna kāne no ka mālama ʻana iā ia, a ʻaʻole ʻo ia i mālama i kēlā ʻano mea ʻole. "ʻAʻole au i noi aku iā ʻoe e hao i koʻu mau pālule," wahi a ke kāne.

"ʻAʻole au i nīnau iā ʻoe" ʻo ia kekahi o nā mea ʻino loa āu e ʻōlelo ai i kekahi. Ma ka hana ʻana i kēia, hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻoe ʻaʻole wale i ka mea a kāu hoa i hana ai no ʻoe, akā i kona mau manaʻo no ʻoe. "ʻAʻole au makemake iā ʻoe" ʻo ia ka ʻōlelo maoli o kēia mau ʻōlelo.

Nui aʻe nā huaʻōlelo e hoʻopau i kā mākou pilina, akā ʻike pinepine nā psychologists e hana pū ana me nā kāne i kēia mau mea. Inā makemake ʻoe e neʻe i kekahi i kekahi a ʻaʻole e hoʻonāukiuki i nā paio, e haʻalele i kēlā ʻano huhū waha. E kamaʻilio pololei me kāu hoa pili i kou mau manaʻo a me kou mau ʻike, me ka ʻole o ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e uhi i ka hoʻopaʻi a me ka hoʻokau ʻole ʻana i ka manaʻo hewa.

E pili ana i ka loea: ʻO Chris Armstrong kahi kumu aʻoaʻo pili.