Contents
Manaʻo pinepine nā ʻōpio ʻaʻole pono kekahi iā lākou, ʻaʻole hoihoi. Ma ka liʻiliʻi, makemake kekahi i kahi hoaaloha a i ʻole hoa, akā ʻaʻohe mea e hoʻolohe iā lākou. Me he mea lā ʻaʻole lākou. He aha ka hana? Wehewehe mai ka psychologist.
E hoʻomaka kākou ma ka nīnau ʻana: pehea ʻoe i ʻike ai? Ua hana maoli anei ʻoe i ka noiʻi a nīnauele i kāu mau hoaaloha a pau, a pane lākou ʻaʻole lākou makemake iā ʻoe? ʻOiai inā e noʻonoʻo ʻoe i kahi kūlana hihiu, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke maopopo ua pane pololei nā mea a pau.
No laila, ʻoiai, ke kamaʻilio nei mākou e pili ana i kāu loiloi subjective. Manaʻo wau no hea mai ia a he aha ia ma hope?
ʻOku ou manatuʻi naʻe ʻi he taʻu 11-13, ko e kupuʻi lea “ʻOku ʻikai fiefia kiate au” ʻoku ʻuhinga ia “ʻOku ʻikai ʻaupito au ʻi ha taha, ʻoku mahuʻinga ia kiate au.” He pilikia kēia i ka miliona! Noho ke kanaka i kou noonoo a pau, kou mau manao a pau, no laila makemake oe e mahalo a ike ia oe, aka, aole ona manao iki ia oe! Hele ʻo ia a puni me he mea lā he mea ʻole, ʻaʻole ʻike iā ʻoe.
He aha ka hana? ʻO ka mea mua, eia kekahi mau ʻoiaʻiʻo maʻalahi.
1. ʻAʻohe poʻe i ʻoi aku ka nui a i ʻole ka mea nui - he waiwai maoli kēlā me kēia
ʻOiai inā i manaʻo ʻia i loko o kāu papa N he mana nui, makemake nā mea a pau iā ia a he kūleʻa me nā mea a pau, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e loaʻa i kona ʻike. ʻO kāu mau kūlana, kaulana, mana he mea ʻē aʻe ma mua o kahi pāʻani kaiaulu.
A inā ʻo M, ʻoiai he kanaka ʻē aʻe, manaʻo ʻoe he kanaka kūpono, kamaʻilio pū me ʻoe me ka hauʻoli a ʻike i kou manaʻo he mea waiwai - hauʻoli. ʻO ia hoʻi, aia ma ka liʻiliʻi hoʻokahi kanaka ma ka honua, ʻokoʻa ka makuahine a me ka makuakāne, ka mea hoihoi iā ʻoe.
2. ʻAʻole mākou i ʻike maopopo i ka manaʻo o nā kānaka iā mākou.
ʻAʻole like ko mākou manaʻo a me kā mākou ʻōlelo a me kā mākou hana. Me he mea lā iā ʻoe ke inaina nei lākou iā ʻoe, akā ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻike ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ka manawa kūpono a i kahi hewa. Manaʻo ʻoe ʻaʻole lākou e ʻike iā ʻoe, akā hilahila wale lākou i ka ʻōlelo ʻana, a ʻaʻole hiki i kou makemake ke ʻike i ko lākou mau manaʻo ma kekahi ʻano.
3. He mea paʻakikī ke aloha i ke kanaka makemake ʻole iā ia iho.
E ʻoiaʻiʻo: inā ʻo ʻoe ka N, e huki paha ʻoe iā ʻoe iho? He aha kāu e manaʻo ai iā ʻoe, ke nānā ʻoe mai waho? He aha kou ikaika? I ka manawa hea ka leʻaleʻa a me ka leʻaleʻa e noho pū me ʻoe, a i nā manawa hea ʻoe e makemake ai e holo aku mai ou aku a hiki i nā kihi o ka honua? Inā ʻaʻole ʻike ʻo N iā ʻoe, pono paha ʻoe e haʻi iā ʻoe iho me ka leo nui?
4. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i kāu hui.
E noʻonoʻo: ʻike kahi kanaka ʻōpio moeʻuhane iā ia iho i kahi pāʻina o nā hoa hauʻoli pupule. Mahalo lākou i nā ʻano ʻokoʻa like ʻole o nā kānaka.
A ʻo ka hope, pololei paha ʻoe a loaʻa iā ʻoe nā kumu āpau e noʻonoʻo ai ʻaʻohe mea makemake iā ʻoe. ʻAʻohe mea kono iā ʻoe e hula. ʻAʻohe kanaka e noho pū me ʻoe i ka lumi ʻaina. ʻAʻohe kanaka e hele mai i ka pāʻina lā hānau. E ʻōlelo kākou pēlā.
Akā, ʻo ka mea mua, aia kahi kūlana kiʻekiʻe e hoʻopuni ʻia ʻoe e nā poʻe hewa (a hiki ke hoʻoholo ʻia kēia: ua lawa ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi ʻoihana ʻē aʻe, nā wahi ʻē aʻe i loaʻa nā poʻe hoihoi iā ʻoe). A ʻo ka lua, hiki iā ʻoe ke noʻonoʻo mau pehea e hoʻololi ai i ke kūlana. E ʻimi i ka Pūnaewele no nā hoaaloha kahiko āu i hele ai i ke kula kindergarten, e hoʻoluʻu i kou lauoho, e loaʻa ka wiwo ʻole a noi aku e ʻai me nā kāne āu e makemake ai.
Mai makaʻu i ka hāʻule: ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka hoʻāʻo a hāʻule ma mua o ka hoʻāʻo ʻole i kekahi mea.
ʻAe, inā loaʻa iā ʻoe ka negativity mai kāu mau hoʻāʻo a pau, inā hoʻokuke maoli nā mea a pau iā ʻoe, e haʻi i kou makuahine a i ʻole kekahi kanaka makua āu e hilinaʻi nei i kēia. A i ʻole e kelepona i kekahi o nā laina kōkua (no ka laʻana, ka laina kōkua pilikia manuahi: +7 (495) 988-44-34 (noa ma Moscow) +7 (800) 333-44-34 (noa ma Rusia).
He kumu koʻikoʻi koʻikoʻi paha kāu mau pilikia e kōkua ai ke kanaka psychologist maikaʻi iā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo.
Nā hana pono
1. "Hoʻomaikaʻi"
No nā lā he ʻumi, e hoʻohiki e hāʻawi iā ʻoe iho i ʻelua a ʻekolu mau hoʻomaikaʻi i kēlā me kēia manawa:
e nānā iā ʻoe iho i ke aniani;
e haalele ana i ka hale;
hoʻi i ka home.
Wale, chur, honest and specifically, no ka laʻana:
“Maikaʻi kou nānā ʻana i kēia lā! ʻIke maikaʻi kou lauoho a hele maikaʻi ke kapa komo me ka ʻaʻahu."
"He mea hauʻoli ke kamaʻilio ʻana me ʻoe! Ua loaʻa iā ʻoe nā huaʻōlelo kūpono no kēlā kūlana.
“Maikaʻi ʻoe. He ʻakaʻaka ʻakaʻaka kāu - ʻakaʻaka a ʻaʻole ʻino.
2. "Hoʻomau"
Ua maopopo ʻaʻole ʻoe e hana koke, akā e hoʻomaʻamaʻa kāua. E hōʻike iā ʻoe iho: koho i nā kiʻi, hana i kahi papa inoa o kāu mau akamai a me kāu mau talena, e haʻi kikoʻī i ke kumu e makemake ai ka poʻe e hana me ʻoe. A laila heluhelu hou i ka hōʻike: pono, pehea e makemake ʻole ʻia ai kekahi kanaka e like me ʻoe?
3. "Hoʻoponopono i nā pilina kanaka"
E noʻonoʻo ʻoe ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻeha, akā ʻo kekahi keikikāne ʻo Vasya. He pilikia nui ko Vasya:ʻaʻohe mea iʻike iā ia, ua hanaʻinoʻiaʻo ia,ʻaʻole i mahaloʻia. A ʻo ʻoe i loko o kēia moʻolelo ka mea hoʻoponopono nui o ka pilina kanaka. A laila hele mai ʻo Vasya iā ʻoe a nīnau: "He aha ka hewa iaʻu? No ke aha i makemake ole mai ai kekahi ia'u?"
Nīnau ʻoe iā Vasya i nā nīnau koʻikoʻi. He aha? No ka laʻana - pehea ʻo Vasya e hana ai i nā kānaka?
ʻAʻole makemake ʻo ia i nā ʻakaʻaka ʻino? ʻIke ʻo ia i ka ʻaoʻao o kekahi kanaka, pale, hōʻike mālama?
Eia naʻe - pehea i hoʻomaka ai. Malia paha he hanana, he hana, he huaʻōlelo ʻino, a laila hoʻomaka lākou e nānā ʻokoʻa iā Vasya? A i ʻole he mea hōʻeha nui i ke ola o Vasya? Hiki paha iā ʻoe ke noʻonoʻo i ke kumu i hana ʻia ai a pehea e hoʻoponopono ai.
A i ʻole e ʻōhumu wale ʻo Vasya i kona momona. ʻAe, he mea lapuwale kēia! Ua piha ka honua i nā poʻe me nā paona ʻokoʻa loa, i aloha ʻia, ʻike ʻia, me lākou e kūkulu ai i nā pilina a hoʻomaka i kahi ʻohana. ʻO ka pilikia o Vasya, ʻoiai ʻaʻole makemake ʻo ia iā ia iho. Pono ʻoe e ʻike pono iā ia, e noʻonoʻo pono iā ia a hoʻomaopopo i kona ikaika.
Ua kamaʻilio ʻo Victoria Shimanskaya e pili ana i ka ʻike ʻana o nā ʻōpio iā lākou iho, e aʻo i ke kamaʻilio ʻana me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, e lanakila ai i ka hilahila, ka luuluu a me nā hakakā me nā hoaaloha ma ka puke 33 Important Whys (MIF, 2022), i kākau pū me Alexandra Chkanikova. E heluhelu pū i ka ʻatikala "No ke aha ʻaʻole wau makemake i kekahi?": He aha nā ʻōpio e pono ai e ʻike e pili ana i ke aloha.