"ʻO ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i ka moekolohe ke kāohi pinepine ʻia e nā mea lapaʻau ponoʻī iā lākou iho, ʻaʻole ʻike i ka nīnau ʻana i nā nīnau kūpono," wahi a ka psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg. Ua kamaʻilio mākou iā ia e pili ana i ke aloha makua, ka moekolohe kamaliʻi, a me kahi i hewa ai ʻo Freud.
He mau hiʻohiʻona ʻoi kona a me ke ʻano paʻa o ka nānā ʻana. I loko o kahi noho kalai nui me ke kua kiʻekiʻe, ua like ia me ko Bulgakov's Woland. Ma kahi o kahi kau kilokilo me ka hoʻolaha ʻana ma hope, alakaʻi ʻo ia i kahi kikoʻī kikoʻī o nā hihia mai kāna hana ponoʻī a me ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻana o nā psychotherapists i ka hālāwai.
Akā aia kekahi mea kupanaha i ka maʻalahi o Otto Kernberg e komo i ka hohonu o kahi mea pohihihi e like me ka moekolohe. Ua hana ʻo ia i kahi manaʻo psychoanalytic hou o ke kanaka a me kāna ʻano psychoanalytic ponoʻī, ua manaʻo ʻo ia i kahi ala hou i ka mālama ʻana i nā maʻi maʻi o ka palena palena a me kahi nānā hou i ka narcissism. A laila hoʻololi koke ʻo ia i ke ala o ka noiʻi a kāhāhā i nā mea a pau me kahi puke e pili ana i ke aloha a me ka moekolohe. ʻO ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i nā nuances maʻalahi o kēia mau pilina maʻalahi hiki ke lili ʻia ʻaʻole wale e kona mau hoa psychologists, akā e nā poʻe haku pū kekahi.
Nā Psychologies: Hiki ke hoʻopaʻa ʻia ka moekolohe kanaka i ka noiʻi ʻepekema?
ʻO Otto Kernberg: Hiki mai nā pilikia me ke aʻo ʻana i nā kaʻina physiological: pono e ʻimi i nā mea manawaleʻa i mākaukau e hana aloha i nā sensors, me nā lako kūikawā a ma lalo o ka nānā ʻana o nā ʻepekema. Akā, mai kahi manaʻo noʻonoʻo, ʻaʻole wau i ʻike i nā pilikia, koe wale nō hoʻokahi mea: hilahila pinepine nā psychologists a me nā mea lapaʻau e nīnau i nā nīnau kūpono e pili ana i ke ola wahine.
Nā kānaka kālaiʻike? ʻAʻole kā lākou mea kūʻai aku?
ʻOiaʻiʻo o ka mea! ʻAʻole hilahila nā mea kūʻai aku, akā ʻo nā psychotherapist ponoʻī. A he mea makehewa loa ia: inā ʻoe e nīnau i nā nīnau kūpono e pili ana mai ka loiloi o ke kamaʻilio ʻana, a laila e loaʻa ʻoe i ka ʻike āu e pono ai. ʻIke ʻia, nele ka nui o nā mea lapaʻau i ka ʻike a me ka ʻike e hoʻomaopopo pono i nā nīnau e pili ana i ke ola wahine o ka mea kūʻai aku e nīnau ʻia - a i ka manawa hea.
He mea nui ka naʻauao o ka mea lapaʻau, hāmama ka naʻau, a loaʻa iā ia ke oʻo pilikino. Akā i ka manawa like, pono ʻo ia i ka hiki ke ʻike i nā ʻike primitive, ʻaʻole e paʻa loa a kaupalena ʻia.
Aia nā wahi o ke ola i pani ʻia i ka noiʻi?
Me he mea lā hiki iā mākou ke aʻo i nā mea a pau. A ʻo ka pilikia nui ke ʻano o ke kaiāulu i kekahi mau hōʻike o ka moekolohe. ʻAʻole nā kānaka ʻepekema, psychoanalysts, a i ʻole nā mea kūʻai aku e kāohi i kēia ʻano noiʻi, akā ʻo ka hui. ʻAʻole maopopo iaʻu pehea i Rusia, akā i ka USA i kēia lā, no ka laʻana, he mea paʻakikī ke aʻo ʻana i nā mea āpau e pili ana i ka moekolohe i nā keiki.
Hiki i ka pilina mau ke alakaʻi i ka loaʻa ʻana o ke aloha moe kolohe. ʻAʻole paha
ʻO ka mea hoʻohenehene, ʻo nā kānaka ʻepekema ʻAmelika ka poʻe i paionia ma kēia ʻano ʻike. Akā e ho'āʻo i kēia manawa e noi i kālā no ka noiʻi e pili ana i ka moekolohe keiki. ʻO ka maikaʻi, ʻaʻole lākou e hāʻawi kālā iā ʻoe, a ʻo ka mea maikaʻi loa, hiki iā lākou ke hōʻike iā ʻoe i nā mākaʻi. No laila, ʻaneʻane ʻole kēia ʻano noiʻi. Akā, he mea nui lākou no ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ke ʻano o ka ulu ʻana o ka moekolohe i nā makahiki like ʻole, ʻo ia hoʻi, pehea i hoʻokumu ʻia ai ka moe kolohe.
Ināʻaʻole mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā keiki, akā e pili ana i nā mākua: pehea ka nui o ka manaʻo o ke aloha moe kolohe, kahi āu e kākau nui ai, pili i ka makahiki olaola?
Ma ke ano physiological, oo ke kanaka no ke aloha moe kolohe i ka wa opiopio a i ka wa opiopio. Akā inā pilikia ʻo ia, no ka laʻana, mai kahi maʻi pilikino koʻikoʻi, a laila hiki ke lōʻihi ka lōʻihi. I ka manawa like, he kuleana koʻikoʻi ka ʻike ola, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka poʻe me kahi hui pilikino maʻamau a neurotic paha.
ʻO kēlā me kēia hihia, ʻaʻole pono kekahi e noʻonoʻo ʻo ke aloha wahine makua he pilina i loaʻa wale i nā poʻe ma luna o 30 a ʻoi aku paha 40 mau makahiki. Hiki ke maʻalahi ia mau pilina a hiki i nā makahiki 20.
I ka manawa aʻu i ʻike ai ʻaʻole ʻae ka degere o ka pathology pilikino o kēlā me kēia hoa i ka wānana i ke ʻano o ko lākou ola pū ʻana. Ua pili ʻia ʻelua mau kānaka olakino maikaʻi loa, a he pō maoli kēia. A i kekahi manawa he mau maʻi koʻikoʻi ko nā hoa ʻelua, akā he pilina nui.
He aha ke kuleana o ka noho ʻana me hoʻokahi hoa hana? Hiki i nā male male ʻekolu "hui" ke hāʻawi i ka ʻike pono e alakaʻi ai i ke aloha moe kolohe?
Manaʻo wau inā hiki i ke kanaka ke aʻo, a laila mai nā hemahema e huki pū ai ʻo ia i kāna mau haʻawina. No laila, ʻo nā male kūleʻa ʻole e kōkua i ka lilo ʻana i mea makua a hōʻoia i ka kūleʻa i kahi hui hou. Akā inā he pilikia koʻikoʻi ko ke kanaka, ʻaʻole ʻo ia e aʻo i kekahi mea, akā hoʻomau mau i nā hewa like mai ka male ʻana a i ka male.
ʻO ka pilina mau me ka hoa hoʻokahi hiki ke alakaʻi like i ka hoʻokō ʻana i ke aloha wahine makua. A i ʻole hiki iā lākou ke alakaʻi - ke haʻi hou aku nei au: nui ka hilinaʻi i ke ʻano o ka hui psychological o kēlā me kēia.
He aha nā mea hou āu i ʻike ai e pili ana i ke aloha a me ka moekolohe a Freud, no ka laʻana, ʻaʻole i ʻike a ʻike ʻole paha?
Pono mākou e hoʻomaka me ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole maopopo mākou i ka mea a Freud i ʻike a ʻike ʻole ai. Ua ʻōlelo ʻo ia ʻaʻole makemake ʻo ia e kākau e pili ana i ke aloha a pau ka pilikia nona. Akā, no laila, ʻaʻole ʻo ia i kākau i kekahi mea. Mai kahi e hiki ai iā mākou ke hoʻoholo ʻaʻole ʻo ia i hoʻoponopono i kēia pilikia i kona ola holoʻokoʻa. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hoʻohewa iā ia no kēia: ʻoiai, he kanaka maoli kēia a ʻaʻole he mea kupanaha. ʻAʻole hiki i nā poʻe he nui ke hoʻoponopono i kēia pilikia i ko lākou ola a pau.
Akā, mai ka ʻike ʻepekema, i kēia lā ua ʻike nui mākou i ke aloha ma mua o Freud. Eia kekahi laʻana, ua manaʻoʻo ia ma ka hoʻokomoʻana i ka libido i nā pilina aloha, hoʻohana mākou i kāna "mau mālama". He hoopunipuni hohonu keia. ʻAʻole ʻo Libido ka aila a i ʻole ka lanahu, i hiki ke hoʻopau ʻia kāna mau "kauoha". Ma ka hoʻokomo kālā i nā pilina, hoʻonui mākou iā mākou iho i ka manawa like.
Ua manaʻo ʻo Freud ʻaʻole i ʻōlelo ʻia ka super-ego i nā wahine e like me nā kāne. He kuhi hewa nō hoʻi kēia. Ua manaʻo ʻo Freud he mana ikaika ka huāhuā penis e pili ana i nā wahine. A he ʻoiaʻiʻo kēia, akā ua hoʻopilikia pū ʻia nā kāne e ka huāhuā o ke ʻano wahine, a ua mālama ʻo Freud i kēia. I kahi huaʻōlelo, ʻaʻole kū mālie ka psychoanalysis i kēia mau makahiki.
Ke hoʻopaʻapaʻa nei ʻoe ʻo ke kūʻokoʻa i loko o ka pilina pili kino e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke mālama i kāu hoa ma ke ʻano he mea.
ʻO kaʻu manaʻo wale nō i loko o ka pōʻaiapili o ka pilina pili kino olakino, hiki ke komo i nā manaʻo a pau o ka moekolohe: nā hōʻike o ka sadism, masochism, voyeurism, exhibitionism, fetishism, a pēlā aku. A lilo ka hoa i mea e ʻoluʻolu ai i kēia mau sadistic a masochistic aspirations. He kūlohelohe maoli kēia, ʻo kēlā me kēia hoʻoulu wahine e hoʻopili mau i ka hui ʻana o nā mea erotic a me nā mea hoʻonāukiuki.
ʻAʻole pono ke koho pāloka i ka moho hoʻokahi ma ke koho balota. ʻOi aku ka nui o ka loaʻa ʻana o nā manaʻo like e pili ana i ka maikaʻi a me ka hewa
He mea nui wale nō e hoʻomanaʻo i loko o kahi pilina makua, ʻo ka hoa pili i lilo i kumu o kēia mau manaʻo e ʻae i kā lākou hōʻike a hauʻoli i ka mea e hana nei. A i ʻole, ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻaʻohe pono e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ke aloha makua.
He aha kāu makemake i kahi kāne ʻōpio i ka pō o ka male ʻana?
Makemake wau e hauʻoli lākou iā lākou iho a me kekahi. Mai kaupalena iā ʻoe iho i nā manaʻo e pili ana i ka pono a me ka hewa i ka moekolohe, mai makaʻu i ka noʻonoʻo, ʻimi a loaʻa ka leʻaleʻa. Eia kekahi, he mea nui ko lākou ola i kēlā me kēia lā e pili ana i ka coincidence o nā makemake. I hiki iā lākou ke kaʻana like i nā kuleana, hoʻoponopono pū i nā hana e kū nei iā lākou.
A ʻo ka mea hope loa, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi inā ʻaʻole i hakakā kā lākou ʻōnaehana waiwai. ʻAʻole kēia manaʻo he pono lākou e koho i ka moho hoʻokahi i ke koho pelekikena. ʻOi aku ka nui o ka loaʻa ʻana o nā manaʻo like e pili ana i ka maikaʻi a me ka hewa, nā manaʻo ʻuhane. Hiki iā lākou ke lilo i kumu no kahi ʻōnaehana maʻamau o nā waiwai, no ka pono hui ma ke ʻano o kekahi mau kāne. A ʻo kēia ke kumu hilinaʻi loa no nā hui ikaika a me kā lākou palekana hilinaʻi loa.