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Me he mea lā he aha ka mea maʻamau ma mua o ka moekolohe? Akā, ua manaʻoʻiʻo ʻo Alain de Botton i ka hui hou "ua hoʻohālikelike ʻia ke kāne i ka paʻakikī i ka makemakika kiʻekiʻe."
ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi mana kūlohelohe ikaika, hoʻokumu ka wahine i nā pilikia he nui no mākou. Makemake malū mākou e loaʻa ka poʻe a mākou i ʻike ʻole a aloha ʻole paha. Makemake kekahi e komo i nā hoʻokolohua moe kolohe a hoʻohaʻahaʻa paha no ka pono o ka moekolohe. A ʻaʻole maʻalahi ka hana - e haʻi hope i ka poʻe i aloha nui iā mākou e pili ana i kā mākou makemake ma kahi moe.
"Ua pilikia malū mākou, me ka manaʻo i ka ʻeha ʻeha o ka moekolohe a mākou e moeʻuhane ai a hoʻāʻo paha e pale aku," wahi a Alain de Botton a pane i nā nīnau wela loa ma kahi kumuhana erotic.
No ke aha e wahaheʻe ai nā kānaka i ko lākou makemake maoli?
ʻOiai ʻo ka moekolohe kekahi o nā hana pili loa, ua hoʻopuni ʻia e nā manaʻo i ʻae ʻia e ka lehulehu. Ho'ākāka lākou i ke ʻano o ka moe kolohe. ʻO kaʻoiaʻiʻo, he kakaikahi o mākou e hāʻule i lalo o kēia manaʻo, kākauʻo Alain de Botton i ka puke "Pehea e noʻonoʻo ai e pili ana i ka moekolohe."
Ma kahi o mākou a pau e loaʻa i nā manaʻo o ka hewa a i ʻole nā neuroses, mai ka phobias a me nā makemake luku, mai ka manaʻo ʻole a me ka hoʻopailua. A ʻaʻole mākaukau mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i ko mākou ola wahine, no ka mea makemake mākou a pau e noʻonoʻo maikaʻi ʻia.
Hoʻopaʻa ʻole ka poʻe aloha i kēlā mau haʻiʻōlelo, no ka mea makaʻu lākou e hoʻokau i ka hoʻowahāwahā ʻole i kā lākou mau hoa.
Akā i kēia manawa, kahi e hiki ai ke hoʻopailua i kona kiʻekiʻe, ʻike mākou i ka ʻae a me ka ʻae ʻia, ʻike mākou i kahi manaʻo erotic ikaika.
E noʻonoʻo i ʻelua mau ʻōlelo e ʻimi ana i ka ʻāina pili o ka waha-ʻo ke ana ʻeleʻele a pulu kahi e nānā wale ai ke kauka niho. Hoʻopaʻa ʻia ke ʻano kūʻokoʻa o ka hui ʻana o nā kānaka ʻelua e kahi hana e hoʻoweliweli iā lāua inā loaʻa ia i kekahi.
ʻO ka mea e hana ai i kahi kāne i loko o ka lumi moe kahi mamao loa mai nā kuʻuna a me nā lula. He hana kuʻikahi like ia ma waena o ʻelua mau moeʻuhane huna e wehe ana kekahi i kekahi.
Hoʻopau anei ka male i ka moekolohe?
"ʻO ka emi mālie o ka ikaika a me ka pinepine o ka moekolohe i loko o kahi kāne male he mea hiki ʻole ke ʻike ʻia o ka biology a me nā hōʻike o ko mākou ʻano maʻamau," i ʻōlelo hou ai ʻo Alain de Botton. "ʻOiai ke hoʻāʻo nei ka ʻoihana sex therapy e haʻi iā mākou e hoʻōla hou ʻia ka male e ka wikiwiki mau o ka makemake.
ʻO ka nele o ka moekolohe i nā pilina paʻa e pili ana me ka hiki ʻole ke hoʻololi koke mai ka hana maʻamau i ka erotica. ʻO nā hiʻohiʻona e koi ai ka wahine iā mākou e kūʻē i ka mālama puke liʻiliʻi o ke ola o kēlā me kēia lā.
Pono ka moe kolohe i ka noʻonoʻo, ka pāʻani, a me ka nalo ʻana o ka mana, a no laila, ma kona ʻano maoli, he disruptive. Hōʻalo mākou i ka moe kolohe ʻaʻole no ka mea ʻaʻole ia e leʻaleʻa iā mākou, akā no ka mea ʻo kāna mau leʻaleʻa e hoʻohaʻahaʻa i ko mākou hiki ke hana i nā hana o ka hale me ke ana.
He mea paʻakikī ke hoʻololi mai ke kūkākūkā ʻana i ka mea ʻai meaʻai e hiki mai ana a koi aku i kāu wahine e hoʻāʻo i ke ʻano o ke kahu hānai a huki paha i nā kāmaʻa kuli. Hiki iā mākou ke maʻalahi ke noi aku i kekahi e hana - ʻaʻole pono mākou e ʻai pū me ka ʻaina kakahiaka no nā makahiki he kanakolu e hiki mai ana.
No ke aha mākou e hoʻopili ai i ka mea nui i ka hoʻomaloka?
ʻOiai ka hoʻāhewa ʻana o ka lehulehu i ka hoʻomaloka, ʻo ka nele o ka makemake i ka moekolohe ma ka ʻaoʻao he mea ʻole a kūʻē i ke ʻano. He hōʻole ia i ka mana e hoʻomalu nei i kā mākou manaʻo noʻonoʻo a hoʻoikaika i kā mākou "erotic triggers": "nā kuʻekuʻe wāwae kiʻekiʻe a me nā pālule fluffy, nā pūhaka palupalu a me nā kuʻekuʻe wāwae muscular" ...
Loaʻa iā mākou ka huhū ke kū i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole hiki i kekahi o mākou ke lilo i mea āpau i kekahi kanaka. Akā, ua hōʻole ʻia kēia ʻoiaʻiʻo e ka manaʻo maikaʻi o ka mare ʻana i kēia manawa, me kona mau manaʻo a me kona manaʻoʻiʻo e hiki ke hoʻokō ʻia kā mākou pono āpau e ke kanaka hoʻokahi.
Ke ʻimi nei mākou ma ka male ʻana i ka hoʻokō ʻana o kā mākou mau moeʻuhane o ke aloha a me ka moekolohe a ua hoka.
"Akā, he naʻaupō ka manaʻo e hiki ke kumakaia i mea hoʻopau maikaʻi i kēia hōʻino. ʻAʻole hiki ke hiamoe me kahi ʻē aʻe a i ka manawa like ʻaʻole e hōʻino i ka mea i loko o ka ʻohana, "wahi a Alain de Botton.
Ke kono mai kekahi mea makemake mākou e pāʻani ma ka pūnaewele e hui ma ka hōkele, hoʻowalewale ʻia mākou. No kekahi mau hola leʻaleʻa, ua kokoke mākou e kau i ko mākou ola male ma ka laina.
Manaʻo ka poʻe kākoʻo i ka male aloha ʻo nā manaʻo nā mea āpau. Akā i ka manawa like, huli makapō lākou i ka ʻōpala e lana ana ma ka ʻili o kā mākou kaleidoscope manaʻo. Hoʻowahāwahā lākou i kēia mau mana kū'ē, manaʻo a me ka hormonal e hoʻāʻo nei e huki iā mākou i nā haneli o nā ʻaoʻao like ʻole.
ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke ola inā ʻaʻole mākou i kumakaia iā mākou iho i loko, me ka makemake pōkole e ʻumi i kā mākou mau keiki ponoʻī, ʻona i kā mākou hoa kāne, a hemo paha no ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻana i ka mea nāna e hoʻololi i ke kukui. Pono kekahi pae o ka hoʻomalu ponoʻī no ke olakino noʻonoʻo o kā mākou ʻano a me ke ola kūpono o kahi kaiāulu maʻamau.
“He hōʻuluʻulu mākou o nā hopena kemika chaotic. A he mea maikaʻi ke ʻike mākou e hakakā pinepine nā kūlana o waho me ko mākou mau manaʻo. He hōʻailona kēia e hele nei mākou ma ke ala pololei," i ʻōlelo ai ʻo Alain de Botton.
E pili ana i ka mea kākau: ʻO Alain de Botton he mea kākau Pelekane a he akeakamai.