He nui ka poʻe e makemake e kūkulu i nā pilina pili, akā koho mau lākou i nā hoa luku. He aha nā hana o ka psyche e hoʻoholo ai i kā mākou koho a pehea e hoʻololi ai iā lākou, wahi a kahi psychologist.
Ua lohe paha ʻoe e pili ana i ka poʻe e ʻike mau i nā hoa like. Aia ka manaʻo ʻaʻole lākou e aʻo mai nā "hewa o ka wā i hala." No ke aha pēlā?
Aia kekahi rula maʻalahi i ke koho ʻana i kahi hoa: ʻo kou lolo "hoʻomaopopo" wale nō i ka mea "ʻike", ka mea i kamaʻāina. ʻAʻole ʻoe makemake e noho i kahi ʻike like ʻole me ka home. No laila, ʻaʻole ʻoe e ʻāpono i ka mea ʻona inā ʻaʻohe mea o kou ʻohana i hana i kēia. A ʻo ka ʻokoʻa: inā, no ka laʻana, aia kou makuahine i kahi pilina ʻona a "ola" i ka manawa like, a laila e kope kāna keiki i kēia ʻano hana a loaʻa paha iā ia i ke kūlana like.
Ke hoʻomau nei mākou i ka hana hou ʻana i nā haʻawina o ka wā i hala, koho mākou i nā mea aloha e like me nā pī ʻelua i loko o kahi pod.
ʻO nā manaʻo like
Hana mākou i kahi koho make ma ke ʻano o nā hoa pili i hoʻomaopopo a kamaʻāina iā mākou. Hiki iā mākou ke ʻohi i nā hōʻailona pōʻino: no ka laʻana, manaʻo ʻoe he kanaka koʻikoʻi e like me ka makuakāne. A i ʻole maʻalahi i ka manipulation, e like me ka makuahine. No laila, "hāʻule" mākou i nā hoa i kūpono ʻole iā mākou - "pili mākou", i kekahi manawa me ka ʻike ʻole, i ka manaʻo paʻakikī ua like ʻo ia me kona makuahine a makua kāne paha ...
No laila, ʻo nā hana i kūkulu ʻia o kā mākou psyche e hoʻoholo ʻaʻole wale i ke ʻano o ko mākou ola, akā i ke koho ʻana i kahi hoa e hiki mai ana. ʻO ka pale ʻana i nā "pale pale" o ka noʻonoʻo e koho mau ai i nā hoa like hiki ke paʻakikī iā ʻoe iho. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ua laina lākou i loko o mākou no nā makahiki.
ʻElua mau nīnau e kōkua i ka haʻalele ʻana i ka «rake»
- E ho'āʻo e pane me hoʻokahi adjective i ka nīnau: «He aha wau i ka wā ʻaʻole wau i kahi pilina?». E inoa i kahi huaʻōlelo mai ka manaʻo kino e hōʻike ana i nā manaʻo, no ka laʻana: i loko o kahi pilina, hauʻoli wau, paʻa, māʻona, makaʻu ... oe iho. No ka laʻana, ke noho pū ʻoe me kekahi, manaʻo ʻoe e hilinaʻi a manaʻo paha ʻoe ua pau ʻoe i ka ulu ʻana. He kūlana ʻoluʻolu ʻole kēia, no laila hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻalo me ka ʻike ʻole i nā pilina a i ʻole e ʻimi i nā hoa pili i hiki ʻole ke kūkulu i kahi pilina lōʻihi.
- I kēia manawa e nīnau iā ʻoe iho i kahi nīnau hou: "Mai ia wai wau i aʻo ai pehea e pili ai i kēia ʻano?" E puka mai ana kekahi kiʻi o kekahi kanaka i loko o koʻu poʻo: makuahine, makua kāne, ʻanakē, kupuna wahine, kupuna kāne, a i ʻole kekahi kanaka koa kiʻiʻoniʻoni i komo i loko o ka ʻuhane. Ma hope o ka hoʻomaopopo ʻana i ke kumu o kou ʻano ("Aia wau i loko o kēlā me kēia pilina, a ua aʻo wau i kēia mai ..."), e lawe ʻoe iā ia mai ka ʻike ʻole, hāʻawi i ka inoa a me ka wehewehe. I kēia manawa hiki iā ʻoe ke "hoʻihoʻi" i kēia ʻike i ka poʻe nāna i hoʻokomo iā ʻoe. A ma ka hana ʻana i kēia, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻololi i ka hoʻonohonoho pono ʻole kahiko me kahi mea hou, me kahi hōʻailona hoʻohui. No ka laʻana, ma kahi o "ma kahi pilina, ua kumakaia a haʻalele ʻia au," hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo iā ʻoe iho, "i loko o kahi pilina, hauʻoli wau a hoʻoikaika ʻia." Ma kēia ala, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻonohonoho iā mākou iho e ʻimi ʻaʻole i ka mea i kamaʻāina iā mākou (a me ka mea e hoʻopau ai a hoʻonāukiuki iā mākou), akā no ka mea e lawe mai iā mākou i ka hauʻoli a me ka hoʻoikaika.
Ke hoʻomaopopo a hana mākou ma o nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole, hoʻokuʻu ʻia mākou mai ke kaumaha o ka wā i hala, hoʻomaha mākou, aʻo mākou e hilinaʻi i ka honua. Ke hoʻokokoke nei mākou i hoʻokahi ʻanuʻu i ko mākou moeʻuhane (a hoʻokahi kaukani ʻanuʻu mai ka rake, a mākou i hehi ai me ka hoihoi a hiki i kēia manawa).