He ōlaʻi ka nalo ʻana o ka wahine o kekahi, kahi haʻalulu e hoʻopau i nā mea āpau, a hemo ia. ʻO kahi ʻeha hiki ʻole ke hāpai ʻia e kūkulu hou.

Mai ka wahine i lilo i wahine kāne make. Mai kahi kāne, lilo hoʻokahi i hoʻokahi. Hiki iā mākou ke ʻōlelo i nā ʻeha ʻelua, ka mea aloha i nalowale a me nā kāne a mākou i hana ai. Wahi a ka psychiatrist Christophe Fauré, aia wau, aia ʻoe a aia ke kolu o ka mea, ʻo mākou. Hele ka lua, haʻalele ka hale, haʻalele ʻole mākou i nā mea o kēlā me kēia lā me kā mākou hoa ola.

Me ka make o kahi mea aloha, ʻāpana o ko mākou ʻike. Ke waiho nei kahi māla o nā ʻōpala a me ka ʻeha i hoʻoulu hou ʻia i kēlā me kēia manawa ke ʻike mākou iā mākou wale nō, i ka ʻaina awakea, i ka wā moe. ʻO ka huhū a me ke kaumaha i kekahi manawa hiki i kēia ikaika, ʻoi aku ma mua o ka mea i manaʻo ʻia he hiki. ʻO ka make ʻana o kahi kāne a mea ola paha ka make o ke aloha o ko mākou ola… ke kanaka a mākou e hilinaʻi mau ai e kākoʻo iā mākou i ke kino a me ka naʻau. ʻO ia hoʻi ka nalo ʻana o ka pilina kino i lilo i wahi maʻamau o kou ola i kēlā me kēia lā. Mai kēia manawa, ʻo ke aupuni o "ʻaʻole hou" e hānai i ka ʻeha.

ʻO ke kanikau ka pane kūlohelohe a maʻamau hoʻi i ka nalo. ʻIke pinepine ʻia e like me ke ʻano, ma waena o ka mehameha a me ke kaumaha. ʻO ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ke kaumaha. Hoʻopili ia iā ʻoe ma nā pae āpau, ka naʻau, ka noʻonoʻo, ka pilikanaka, ka ʻuhane, a me ke kino.

I loko o nā mahina ʻeono a ʻumikūmālua mua ma hope o ka make make ʻana, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka poʻe i ka maʻi. Wahi a ka poʻe loea olakino, ʻo ka poʻe e kaumaha nei i ke kaumaha, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka hihia i loko o kahi ulia pōpilikia no ka mea hopohopo lākou i ko lākou kaumaha. Ke hana nei ka ʻōnaehana pale ʻole i ka pupuhi piha, a aia kahi manawa kūpono e luhi mau ai kahi paʻa paʻa. ʻO ka hopena o ke kino i ka trauma. He mea nui ka hoʻolohe ʻana iā ia. E ʻeha paha ʻoe i ka hiamoe ʻole, e like me kou makemake e hoʻolilo i kou lā i kahi moe. Hōʻino paha ʻoe a haʻalele i ka ʻai ʻana, e like me ka wī a ʻai ʻana i nā mea āpau āu i ka lima. E ʻike pono ʻoe e ʻai pono a hoʻomaha i nā lā mua o kou kaumaha. ʻAʻole kēia he scoop, i ka wā e kanikau nei mākou, monopolize ka mea nalowale i ko mākou manaʻo āpau. Hiki i kēia pilikia pilikia ke kumu i ka hala ʻana o ka hoʻomanaʻo. Hoʻohālikelike ʻia i ka poʻe i kūmākena ʻole, ʻo nā kumuhana i nalowale i kā lākou wahine i nā mahina ʻeono i hala ka paʻakikī i ka hoʻomanaʻo ʻana i nā kikoʻī o kahi moʻolelo, ma hope pono o ka hoʻolohe ʻana a ma hope paha o kahi wā.

ʻO ka manawa pinepine, ʻo ka make ʻana o kahi wahine a kāne paha e loli nui i ka honua i kou noho ʻana a hiki i ka haʻalele ʻana o kāu wahine. Ma ke ʻano he mea kākau, ua kuhikuhi ʻo Thomas Attig, pono ʻoe e "aʻo hou i kou honua". Hoʻololi nā mea āpau, hiamoe, kuke, ʻai, a me ka nānā ʻana i ke kīwī, i kēia manawa nā mea ʻokoʻa loa ke noho hoʻokahi ʻoe.

ʻO nā hana a me nā hana, i ka manawa like, nā hanana āu i manaʻo ai a me kāu hoa, nā kaʻina puka, ka hānau ʻana o nā moʻopuna, a me nā manawa kūikawā ʻē aʻe, pono e hele i kā lākou iho. Lilo ka honua i wahi ʻokoʻa a mehameha loa. I kēia manawa pono ʻoe e aʻo e ola i kāu iho, e hoʻoholo i kāu koho. No laila he mea nui e hoʻonohonoho ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ʻole e luhi.

E loli pū ka pilina me nā hoaaloha, aia kāu mau hoaaloha i kahi pilina a inā lākou e hōʻike iā ʻoe i ka maka, ua wahine kāne make ʻoe i kēia manawa, i kahi honua piha i nā pālua ... Pono ʻoe i ka manawa e maʻa ai i kēia nūhou ʻike. Lawe paha kekahi mau kāne āu i ʻike ai me kāu hoapili i kahi mamao a ma kahi o ka manawa ʻaʻole ʻoe e kono hou iā ʻoe. E ʻike ʻoe i ka makaʻu, ma ke ʻano he kāne make, e kāpae ʻia mai ka nohona pilikanaka o nā kāne ʻē aʻe. Manuahi, loaʻa i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ua lilo ʻoe i wahi "hoʻoweliweli" iā lākou.

ʻO ka make kaumaha o kāu hoa a me ka hopena hope ʻole o kāu pilina e lilo i kumu no ke kaumaha. Inā makaʻu ʻoe e hana i kahi no ka hoʻōla ʻana no ka mea hopohopo ʻoe e hoʻopoina ʻoe i kāu wahine, ʻike ʻaʻole ʻoe e poina iā lākou.

E hoʻomanaʻo mau ʻoe iā ia, nāu, e like me kāu e mihi mau ai i nā makahiki o ka hauʻoli āu e loaʻa ʻole ai ka manawa e noho pū me ia.

Akā, i ka hala ʻana o ka manawa, e kōkua kāu mau mea aloha aloha iā ʻoe e kūkulu hou. Pili kēia hana hou i ka hōʻike o kou mau manaʻo. Ma luna o nā mea āpau, mai hoʻomāinoino iā lākou akā kaʻana like iā lākou, kākau iā lākou, ʻaʻole e kāpae iā lākou akā e hoʻololi iā lākou. Mai kānalua e kamaʻilio e pili ana i kāu hoa ola, e haʻi e pili ana i kona ʻano. E kaʻana like i kāu mau mea hoʻomanaʻo nui loa.

Mai ʻokiʻoki i nā pilina me kāu mau hoaaloha akā hana i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe ma ke kau inoa ʻana e laʻa i nā haʻawina pena, nā papa hana chess, e hoihoi i ka poʻe a puni ʻoe i ka ʻoihana ʻoihana, etc.

A laila e ʻike ʻoe hiki i kekahi ke ola, aloha, hana i nā papahana hou, ʻoiai e waiho ana i kahi ʻike kaumaha e pili ana i ka ʻole o kāna wahine. Hoʻokomo hou ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ke ola ma ka mālama ʻana iā ʻoe iho, keu hoʻi i kou hiamoe. E hoʻonohonoho i nā loina, kōkua lākou iā ʻoe e loaʻa hou ka kaohi o kou ola, e hoʻōla: e hele wāwae no kēlā me kēia kakahiaka ma mua o ka hele ʻana i ka hana, kākau i kāu mau leʻaleʻa liʻiliʻi i loko o kahi puke pai mahalo ma mua o ka hiamoe ʻana e hōʻike ai i kāu holomua. Hoʻohui hou i ka mea maikaʻi.