Ua ʻike ʻoe i ka hoʻomāinoino makua. He aha ka hana?

Hiki i ka poʻe liʻiliʻi ke hele mālie inā hoʻouka ke kāne i kahi kaikamahine ma ke alanui a i ʻole ka ʻeke ʻeke mai kahi kupuna wahine. Akā i kahi kūlana e uē ai ka makuahine a paʻi paha i kāna keiki, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o nā mea a pau. He kuleana ko mākou - ka poʻe e kū ana - ke keʻakeʻa i nā hana ʻohana o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe? Hiki iā mākou ke kōkua i kēia kūlana?

E ʻike kākou i ke kumu o ka nui o nā manaʻo a me nā manaʻo i hoʻokumu ʻia i nā hiʻohiʻona i ka poʻe kū ʻole. A noʻonoʻo pū i ke ʻano o ka hana a me nā kūlana e ʻae ʻia a pono.

Nā hana ʻohana

ʻO nā mea a pau ma waena o nā keiki a me nā mākua ma ka home, ʻo ia kā lākou ʻoihana. A hiki i ka puka ʻana o nā hōʻailona hoʻāla - he ʻano ʻē aʻe o ke keiki, nā hoʻopiʻi mai iā ia, nā ʻeha he nui, nā ʻuā a i ʻole ka uē ʻana o ka puʻuwai ma hope o ka pā. A laila, pono ʻoe e noʻonoʻo pono ma mua o ke kāhea ʻana i ke kahu mālama, no ka laʻana.

Akā inā loaʻa kahi hōʻino ma ke alanui, a laila lilo nā poʻe a pau e kū ana me ka ʻike ʻole. Aia kekahi o lākou me nā kamaliʻi makaʻala i ia mau hiʻohiʻona. A laila ua ʻike ʻia he kuleana ko ke kaiāulu e komo - a pinepine ʻaʻole wale e pale i ke keiki mai kahi hiʻohiʻona ʻino, akā e mālama pono iā lākou iho a me kā lākou mau keiki, no ka mea ʻaʻole pono ka nānā ʻana i nā hiʻohiʻona o ka hana ʻino.

ʻO ka nīnau nui, ʻo ia ke ʻano o ka hana ʻana i mea e kōkua ai, ʻaʻole e pōʻino.

No ke aha e hōʻeha ai nā hiʻohiʻona me nā paʻi a me nā ʻuā

Loaʻa i kēlā me kēia kanaka ke aloha - ka hiki ke ʻike i nā manaʻo a me ka ʻeha o kekahi. Manaʻo mākou i ka ʻeha o nā keiki, a inā e huhū ke keiki, makemake mākou e ʻōlelo me ka leo nui: "E kāpae koke i kēia!"

ʻO ka mea e mahalo ai, ma kahi kūlana me kā mākou keiki ponoʻī, hiki ʻole iā mākou ke lohe i kona mau manaʻo, no ka mea, aia pū kekahi - nā manaʻo makua hiki ke kani leo nui iā mākou. No laila i ka wā e "hammer" ai ka makua ma ke alanui i kekahi mea i kāna keiki, lohe ka makua i kona mau manaʻo i ʻoi aku ka leo nui ma mua o ko nā keiki. Mai waho mai, he hiʻohiʻona kēia o ka hoʻomāinoino keiki, weliweli loa i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, a ʻoi aku ka weliweli o ka nānā ʻana a me ka lohe ʻana i kēia.

Akā inā ʻoe e nānā mai loko mai, he pilikia kēia e pono ai ka makua a me ke keiki i ke kōkua. ʻO ke keiki, inā he hewa a ʻaʻole paha, ʻaʻole pono e hana ʻino ʻia.

A ua hiki ka makua i ka paila a ma kāna mau hana e hōʻino i ke keiki, e hōʻino i ka pilina a hoʻohui i ka manaʻo o ka hewa iā ia iho. Akā, ʻaʻole ʻo ia e hana i kēlā mau mea weliweli loa. Malia paha he makuahine luhi a makua kāne paha kēia i ulu aʻe ma kahi keiki makua ʻole, a loaʻa iā lākou nā ʻano hana i ke kaumaha. ʻAʻole kēia e hōʻoiaʻiʻo i kekahi, akā hiki iā ʻoe ke nānā i nā mea e hana nei mai waho.

A ua like ke kūlana me ka hāʻule o ka mokulele a i loko o ia mea he mea pono e kau mua ka makua i kahi mask oxygen nona iho, a laila no ke keiki.

ʻOiaʻiʻo, pili kēia mau mea āpau i kēlā mau hōʻike o ka hana ʻino kahi ʻaʻohe hoʻoweliweli pololei i ke ola o kekahi. Inā ua ʻike ʻoe i kahi hiʻohiʻona me ka hahau pololei ʻana - he mokulele kēia i hāʻule mua, ʻaʻohe masks oxygen e kōkua - e kāhea i ke kōkua i ka wā hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopili iā ʻoe iho.

ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hahau i nā keiki!

ʻAe, ʻo ka hahau ʻana he hana ʻino nō hoʻi, a ʻo ka mea mua āu e makemake ai e hoʻōki koke. Akā he aha ka hope o kēia manaʻo? Hoohewa, huhu, hoole. A maopopo loa keia mau manao a pau, no ka mea, minamina loa na keiki.

A me he mea lā hiki iā ʻoe ke loaʻa i nā huaʻōlelo kūpono, e like me ke "ki hoʻokalakupua", e wehe i ke ala i waho o ka pōʻai o ka hana ʻino.

Akā, inā hele mai kahi malihini i kahi makua kāne huhū a ʻōlelo: “Ke hana nei ʻoe i nā mea ʻino i kāu keiki! ʻAʻole pono e hahau ʻia nā keiki! Kāohi!” – pehea kou manaʻo e hoʻouna ʻia ʻo ia me ia manaʻo? Ke hoʻomau wale nei kēlā mau ʻōlelo i ka pōʻai o ka hana ʻino. ʻO kēlā me kēia ʻōlelo, aia, auwe, ʻaʻohe kī kupua e wehe i ka puka i ka puʻuwai o ka makua huhū. He aha ka hana? Paʻa a hele aku?

Ua piha ka pāpaho i nā hoʻomanaʻo o ka poʻe mākua i hana ʻino ʻia ma ke ʻano he kamaliʻi. Ua kākau lākou ua moeʻuhane lākou i nā mea a pau e pale ai kekahi iā lākou i kēlā manawa, i ka wā kahiko, i ka wā i hana ʻole ai ko lākou mau mākua. A i ko mākou manaʻo he hiki ke hoʻohuli ʻia mai kahi mea e kū ana i mea pale, inā ʻaʻole no mākou iho, akā no kēia, ke keiki a haʻi ... Akā ʻo ia?

ʻO ka pilikia, ʻo ka piʻi ʻana mai a ke keʻakeʻa i kā lākou mau hana me ka ʻole o ka ʻae ʻana o ka poʻe i komo, he ʻano ʻino hoʻi. No laila me ka manaʻo maikaʻi, hoʻomau pinepine mākou i ka hana ʻino loa. Pono kēia i nā hihia kahi e pono ai ʻoe e wāwahi i kahi hakakā a kāhea aku i nā mākaʻi. Akā i kahi kūlana me ka makua a me ke keiki e uē ana, e hoʻonui wale ka huhū i kā lākou kamaʻilio ʻana.

Ke hiki mai nei, hilahila, hoʻomanaʻo ke kanaka makua ʻo ia "ma ka lehulehu", e hoʻopaneʻe ʻo ia i nā "hana hoʻonaʻauao", akā ma ka home e loaʻa pālua ke keiki.

ʻAʻole anei he ala i waho? A ʻaʻohe mea hiki iā mākou ke hana e kōkua i nā keiki?

Aia kahi ala i waho, akā ʻaʻohe kī kilokilo. ʻAʻole hiki ke loaʻa nā huaʻōlelo e hana koke i kekahi makua a hoʻōki i ka mea a mākou makemake ʻole a me nā mea e hōʻeha ai i nā keiki.

Pono nā mākua i ka manawa e hoʻololi. Pono ka hui e hoʻololi. Wahi a kekahi mau manaʻo, ʻoiai inā hoʻomaka ka hapa nui o nā mākua e hana iā lākou iho i kēia manawa, me ka hoʻolauna ʻana i nā ʻano hana makua ʻole, e ʻike mākou i nā loli nui ma hope o 1-2 mau hanauna.

Akā ʻo mākou - nā mea hōʻike makaʻu no ka hana ʻino a i ʻole ka hana ʻino o nā mākua - hiki ke kōkua i ka hoʻopau ʻana i nā pōʻai o ka hoʻomāinoino.

ʻO kēia ala wale nō ʻaʻole ma o ka hoʻohewa ʻana. A ma o ka ʻike, ke kākoʻo a me ke aloha, a me ka mālie wale nō, ma nā ʻanuʻu liʻiliʻi.

ʻIke, kākoʻo, empathy

Inā ʻoe i ʻike i kahi kūlana e hoʻoweliweli pololei ana i ke ola o kahi keiki (kuʻi pololei), ʻoiaʻiʻo, pono ʻoe e kelepona i nā mākaʻi, kāhea aku i ke kōkua, hoʻopau i ka hakakā. I nā hihia ʻē aʻe, ʻo ka ʻōlelo nui ʻo "Mai hana ʻino."

ʻAʻole e pōʻino ka ʻike - ka hoʻoili ʻana o ka ʻike e pili ana i ka hana ʻino i ke keiki a me kāna pilina keiki-makua. Akā, ʻaʻole pono kēia e hana i ka manawa pili. ʻIke au i nā hihia i hoʻolei ʻia nā lau a me nā nūpepa e pili ana i ka hoʻonaʻauao i loko o ka pahu leta o hoʻokahi ʻohana. He koho maikaʻi no ka ʻike.

A i ʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kākau i nā ʻatikala, pana wikiō, kaʻana like i ka infographics, kamaʻilio e pili ana i ka noiʻi makua hou loa i nā hanana makua.

Akā, i kahi kūlana kahi e hahau ai ka makua i kahi keiki, hikiʻole ke hoʻomaopopo iā ia, a he meaʻole ka hoʻokolokoloʻana a he meaʻino paha. Pono ka mask oxygen no ka makua, e hoʻomanaʻo? He paʻakikī ke manaʻoʻiʻo, akā ʻo kēia ke ʻano o ke kaʻina o ka hana ʻino. ʻAʻohe o mākou kuleana e hānai i nā keiki a kekahi poʻe, akā hiki iā mākou ke kōkua i nā mākua i ka pilikia.

ʻO ka luʻi nui loa, ʻo ia ka ʻimi ʻana i kahi ʻano o ke aloha no kēia huhū, huhū, ʻuā a hahau paha i ke kanaka makua. Akā, e noʻonoʻo ʻoe pehea ʻo ia i hahau ʻia ai i kona wā kamaliʻi inā hiki iā ia ke hana i ia mea.

Hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻimi i ke aloha iā ʻoe iho? ʻAʻole hiki i nā mea a pau ke aloha me ka makua ma ia ʻano, a he mea maʻamau nō hoʻi kēia.

Inā hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻike i ke aloha i loko ou, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻāʻo e komo mālie i nā hiʻohiʻona o ka hoʻomāinoino makua. ʻO ka mea maikaʻi loa e hana ai, ʻo ia ke hāʻawi aku i ke kōkua i ka makua e like me ka hiki. Eia kekahi mau ala e kōkua ai.

Pehea e hana ai?

He mea kānalua paha kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo, akā manaʻoʻiʻo mai iaʻu, ʻo ia ka hopena e kōkua ai i ke keiki i hōʻeha ʻia a me ke kanaka makua. A ʻaʻole loa kāu uē ʻana i kahi makua huhū.

1. E nīnau: “Pono ʻoe i ke kōkua? Ua luhi paha ʻoe? me ka hoike ana i ke aloha.

Hiki ke hopena: "ʻAʻole, hele, ʻaʻohe o kāu ʻoihana" ʻo ia ka pane ʻoi loa e loaʻa iā ʻoe. A laila mai hoʻokau, ua hana mua ʻoe i kahi mea nui. Ua hōʻole ʻo Māmā a i ʻole makua kāne i kāu kōkua, akā he haki kēia i ke ʻano - ʻaʻole lākou i hoʻohewa ʻia, akā hāʻawi ʻia ke aloha. A ʻike ke keiki - he kumu hoʻohālike maikaʻi ia nona.

2. Hiki iā ʻoe ke nīnau penei: “Ua luhi paha ʻoe, malia paha e lawe mai au i kīʻaha kofe iā ʻoe mai ka cafe kokoke loa? A i ʻole makemake ʻoe iaʻu e pāʻani me kāu keiki i loko o ka pahu one no ka hapalua hola, a noho wale ʻoe?

Hiki ke hopena: E ʻae kekahi mau makuahine e ʻae i ke kōkua, i ka manawa mua, e nīnau hou lākou me ka hilahila: "Hiki iā ʻoe ke hele a kūʻai mai iaʻu i ka kofe / tinker i loko o ka pahu one, e paʻakikī paha ia iā ʻoe?" Akā aia kekahi manawa e hōʻole ʻo mama i kāu kōkua. A maikaʻi kēlā. Ua hana ʻoe i ka mea hiki iā ʻoe. He mea koʻikoʻi ia mau ʻanuʻu liʻiliʻi, ʻoiai inā ʻaʻole ʻike koke ʻia ka hopena.

3. Hiki i kekahi o mākou ke ʻimi maʻalahi i ka launa pū me nā malihini, a inā ʻo kāu kālena kēia - e kamaʻilio me kahi makuahine luhi, e hoʻolohe a aloha.

Hiki ke hopena: I kekahi manawa, ʻo ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kahi malihini ma luna o ke kaʻaahi, he hoʻōla, he ʻano haʻiʻōlelo. Ua like nō ia ma ʻaneʻi - inā hoʻonohonoho ke kanaka e kaʻana like i kāna mea ponoʻī a uē paha, e hoʻomaopopo ʻoe i kēia. E hauʻoli me nā huaʻōlelo, aloha, e pono ke komo ʻana i kēlā me kēia.

4. E mālama pū me ʻoe i ʻelua mau kāleka pāʻoihana a ka ʻohana psychologist a kaʻana like i kahi pilina me nā huaʻōlelo: "Ua like ia me kaʻu hoaaloha, luhi ʻo ia a ʻaʻole hoʻolohe ke keiki, a ua kōkua ke psychologist." Kāleka pāʻoihana — no ka poʻe i ʻae mua e ʻae i kāu kōkua a hāʻawi paha e kamaʻilio. A he koho kēia "no ka holomua" - ʻaʻole maopopo ka poʻe āpau pehea e hiki ai i kahi psychologist ke kōkua, ʻaʻole ʻae nā mea a pau e hoʻolilo i ke kālā. ʻO kāu hana ke hāʻawi.

Hiki ke hopena: Hiki ke ʻokoʻa ka hopena - e lawe kekahi iā ia mai ka politeness, e noʻonoʻo maoli kekahi e pili ana i ka hoʻohana ʻana i kahi pilina kūpono, a e ʻōlelo kekahi: "ʻAʻole, mahalo, ʻaʻole pono mākou i kahi psychologist" - a he kuleana ko ia. pane. ʻAʻole pono e koi. ʻAʻole maʻalahi ka loaʻa ʻana o ka pane "ʻAʻole". A inā manaʻo ʻoe ua kaumaha a kaumaha paha ʻoe no kēia, e kaʻana like me kahi mea aloha e hiki ke kākoʻo iā ʻoe.

Mālama iā 'oe iho

Loaʻa i kēlā me kēia kanaka ko lākou pae ponoʻī o ka ʻae ʻana i ka hana ʻino. No kekahi, he mea maʻamau ka uē ʻana, akā ʻoi aku ka nui o ka paʻi ʻana. No kekahi, ʻo ke ʻano maʻamau i kekahi manawa, i ka hihia koʻikoʻi loa, ka hahau ʻana i kahi keiki. No nā mea ʻē aʻe, ʻae ʻia ka hoʻopaʻi me ke kāʻei. ʻAʻole ʻae kekahi poʻe i kekahi mea like.

Ke ʻike mākou i ka hana ʻino ma mua o ko mākou hoʻomanawanui pilikino, hiki ke ʻeha. ʻOi loa inā i ko mākou wā kamaliʻi he mau hoʻopaʻi, hoʻohaʻahaʻa, hana ʻino. Loaʻa i kekahi ke kiʻekiʻe o ka empathy, ʻo ia hoʻi, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o nā hiʻohiʻona manaʻo.

Inā ʻeha ʻoe i nā kūlana i hana ʻino ai nā mākua i kā lākou mau keiki, pono e mālama iā ʻoe iho. E hoʻomaopopo i ke kumu e ʻeha ai ʻoe, e ʻimi paha i ke kumu a pani i kou ʻeha, inā, ʻoiaʻiʻo, aia kekahi.

I kēia lā, nui nā mākua i ʻike i ka pōʻino o ka paʻi ʻana a me ke kāʻei, akā ʻaʻole hiki i nā mea āpau ke hoʻololi i kā lākou ʻano. ʻO ka poʻe i kūleʻa a me ka poʻe e hoʻāʻo nei e makaʻala loa i nā hiʻohiʻona o ka hana ʻino.

ʻO ka mālama pono ʻana iā ʻoe iho ke kani ʻana i ke ʻano o ka hana ʻino. Me he mea lā iā mākou ʻo ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa ʻana i ko mākou paepae o ka naʻau i kēlā mau ʻano like ʻole he kumakaia. Akā ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, wehe ia i nā manawa hou - i ka hana ʻana ma o kā mākou traumas ponoʻī, e hana like me kēia me ka manaʻo ponoʻī, e loaʻa iā mākou kahi manawa hou aku no ke aloha, kōkua. ʻIke ʻia he mea pono kēia ʻaʻole wale no mākou pilikino, akā no ke kaiāulu holoʻokoʻa. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻoi aku ka nui o ke aloha i nā mākua i kahi pilikia, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kā lākou mau keiki a me nā ʻohana, a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi a me ka wikiwiki o ka nohona.