PSYchology

Nui nā kāne e hoʻāʻo e noho mau hoaaloha ma hope o ka haʻalele ʻana. ʻO ka hiki ke mālama i nā pilina aloha e hilinaʻi nui ʻia i nā kumu e alakaʻi ʻia ai mākou. Eia nā kumu e hana ʻole ai.

Hōʻike nā haʻawina e ʻoi aku ka hewa o nā mea aloha i ka launa ʻana ma mua o nā hoaaloha ʻaʻole i loaʻa i kahi pilina pili. Ke ho'āʻo nei e kūkulu i kahi pilina ma kahi kumu platonic hou, hilinaʻi lākou i kekahi i kekahi a makemake lākou e ʻike i ko lākou hauʻoli. ʻO kēia mau kumu he ʻumi no ka pilina aloha me ka ex e alakaʻi paha i ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa.

1. He mau hoa aloha kou

Inā makemake kou ʻohana a me kou mau hoaaloha e hoʻomau ʻoe i nā ʻōlelo aloha no lākou, no laila e ʻae iā lākou e pale i ke koho ʻana i ka mea e kono ai i kā lākou pāʻina lā hānau, ʻoi aku paha ʻoe e hele pū me lākou. ʻOiaʻiʻo, he hana maikaʻi kēia, e mālama ana i ke ʻano o ka lokahi ākea, akā inā ʻo ia wale ke kumu, ʻaʻole lawa.

He kuleana kou e hōʻole i nā kono inā ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake e ʻike i kāu ex.

A inā ʻoe mākaukau e hele i nā ala i kēlā me kēia manawa, ʻaʻole ia he manaʻo e noho mau ʻoe i mau hoaaloha. He mea paʻakikī paha i ka wā mua ke hālāwai ʻana ma kahi pāʻina ma ke ʻano he kamaʻāina maʻamau, me ka manaʻo ʻana he mea nui ʻo ia o kou wā i hala. Eia naʻe, hana ka manawa i kāna hana, a e hoʻopau mālie kāu moʻolelo maʻamau i nā hanana hou a me nā hālāwai.

2. Ua hewa ʻoe

Inā hoʻomaka ka haʻihaʻi ʻana a hopohopo ka hoa mua a koi i kahi pilina aloha, a laila ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake e hōʻeha hou iā ia ma ka hōʻole ʻana. Eia naʻe, ʻo ka hoʻāʻo ʻana e hoʻōla i nā ʻeha me ko lākou hiki ke hoʻonui i ka ʻeha. ʻAʻole kōkua kēia i ka hema e ʻimi i ka ikaika e neʻe i mua.

Inā no kekahi kumu ua hewa ʻoe, e ʻimi i kahi manawa e kamaʻilio ai no ia mea a kala aku. Eia naʻe, mai hoʻololi i kahi lole mau loa, i kēia manawa e hōʻoluʻolu a kākoʻo.

3. Mehameha ʻoe

ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale pinepine ʻana e haʻalele iā mākou i kahi hemahema o loko, pono ka manawa e hoʻopiha ai. Inā mehameha mākou i ka pō Pōʻaono, a laila, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ke kono ʻana i kekahi hoa aloha i ʻike maikaʻi ʻia i ko mākou wahi no ka ʻaina ahiahi a me ka nānā ʻana i ke kiʻiʻoniʻoni me he manaʻo maikaʻi loa ia ma mua o ka hele ʻana e hālāwai me nā ʻike hou a me nā hoaaloha.

Eia nō naʻe, hiki i kēia ke alakaʻi i ka hoʻomau mau ʻana o nā pilina e mau ana i kahi manawa pōkole a hemo hou.

ʻO ka pōʻino o ka hāʻule ʻana i loko o kēia pōʻai ʻino e ʻoi aku ka mehameha a me ka hopohopo ʻole ma muli o ka hopena ʻaʻole kūpono i ka hōʻoluʻolu pōkole o hoʻokahi pō.

4. Makemake ʻoe e ʻike i kona ola pilikino

Hiki ke hōʻeha iā ʻoe ke noʻonoʻo e loaʻa i kāu ex ka hauʻoli me kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe. Ma ka noho ʻana ma nā ʻōlelo aloha, haʻalele ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ka manawa e hahai ai i ka ulu ʻana o kona ola. Eia naʻe, ʻaʻole e pōmaikaʻi ʻo ʻoe a i kāu ex ka lilo i mea hilinaʻi.

Ua ʻike ʻia kahi haʻawina no ke ola kino kāne o 3000 poʻe he 85% e nānā mau i kā lākou ʻaoʻao aloha aloha, 17% e hana i hoʻokahi manawa i ka pule. Hoʻonui wale ia mau mākaʻikaʻi i ka manaʻo lili a me ka hopohopo. Inā he mea paʻakikī iā ʻoe ke pale aku i ka hoʻowalewale e pili pono, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi e "unfriend" kekahi i kekahi. ʻElua ma ke kikowaena virtual a ma ke ola maoli.

5. Hoʻohālikelike ʻoe i nā pilina i hala.

Inā loaʻa iā mākou kahi pilina hou, akā ʻaʻole lākou e ʻoluʻolu iā mākou, hoʻomaka pinepine mākou e hoʻomanaʻo i nā hoʻomanaʻo nostalgic o ka hui mua. He mea maʻalahi loa ka hoʻomaka ʻana i ke aloha i kahi ipo mua - ʻoiai, mai kēia manawa ua mamao loa kēia kanaka, a ʻaʻole mākou ʻike i ka mea a mākou i kaʻawale ai. Hoʻonui wale kēia ʻano psychological i ka hauʻoli i nā mea i loaʻa iā mākou i kēia manawa.

6. Manaʻo ʻoe e loli ana kāu ex.

Ua haʻalele paha ʻoe no ka hoʻopunipuni ʻana a i ʻole hoʻomāinoino i ka waiʻona kou ex, akā manaʻo ʻoe ma ka nalowale ʻana iā ʻoe, e aʻo ʻo ia mai ka mea i hana ʻia. ʻO ka noho mau hoaaloha e hoʻomau iā ʻoe i ka pilina a me ka manaʻolana e hiki iā ʻoe ke lilo i hopena maikaʻi iā ia.

I kekahi mau hihia, i ka wā i hoʻomaka ai ka haʻihaʻi ʻana a ʻaʻole makemake ka hoa, hiki i ka manaʻolana o ke kūkulu hou ʻana i ka pilina ke hoʻoikaika.

Eia naʻe, inā manaʻo kou ex he maʻalahi loa ka lanakila ʻana iā ʻoe, hiki iā ia ke hoʻohālike wale i ka makemake e hoʻololi. ʻO ia pilina e alakaʻi wale ai i ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa.

7. ʻIke ʻoe i kou ex ma ke ʻano he fallback.

ʻO mākou pinepine, ʻaʻole makemake e hōʻoiaʻiʻo iā mākou iho, e noho i kahi pilina me ka manaolana inā ʻaʻole mākou e ʻike i kahi mea ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻi i kā mākou hoa mua. ʻAʻole pono e ʻōlelo, ʻaʻole pololei kēia ala. A i mea e wehe ai ka puka hou i kou ola, he mea nui e pani i ka mea kahiko.

8. ʻAʻohe koho o kāu ex.

ʻAʻole ʻoe makemake e noho mau hoaaloha, akā ke hoʻomau nei kāu ex i ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana iā ʻoe, a ʻike ʻoe ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka mālama ʻana i ke ʻano o kahi pilina ma mua o ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana i nā hoʻouka kaua. Loaʻa iā ʻoe nā kuleana āpau e hoʻopau i nā pilina āpau, akā i kēia hihia, e kūpaʻa - pono e hoʻomaopopo ka ʻaoʻao ʻaʻole ʻoe e hāʻawi i ka blackmail a hiki i ka hoʻopili ʻana i nā mākaʻi.

9. Aloha nō ʻo ia iā ʻoe

I kēia hihia, ʻoluʻolu ka hoʻolimalima manawa pū ʻana iā mākou - makemake mākou a pau e aloha. Eia naʻe, hāʻawi kēia i ka manaʻolana wahaheʻe i ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe. ʻOiai inā ʻike ʻoe ua wehewehe pololei ʻoe makemake ʻoe e noho mau hoaaloha, e hoʻomau ka manaʻolana o ke kanaka aloha. Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe e pānaʻi, a laila ʻo ka mea maikaʻi loa āu e hana ai iā ia, ʻo ka wehe ʻana iā ia iho mai kona ola.

10. Aloha ʻoe iā ia

ʻO ke aloha me ka manaʻolana malū e hui hou ʻo ia kekahi o nā kumu ikaika loa no ka noho mau hoaaloha. A i ka manawa like kekahi o nā mea weliweli loa.

Inā hoʻoholo kekahi e haʻalele i kahi pilina me ʻoe, a laila, maopopo, he kumu maikaʻi kāna no kēia.

Ke ho'āʻo nei e hoʻōla i kahi hui aloha, hoʻoulu wale ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i ka ʻeha hou. E ho'āʻo e hoʻonui i ka manawa me nā hoaaloha āu i aloha ai a koʻikoʻi. ʻAʻole kāu ex kekahi o lākou.

Hiki ke noho mau hoa?

ʻOiaʻiʻo. Inā ʻaʻohe o ʻolua mau manaʻo i hōʻike ʻia ma luna, a ʻaʻole pili kāu pilina i ka pilina aloha hou ma kekahi ʻano. ʻO ke kūlana āu e ʻoluʻolu ai i ka hui ʻana o kahi mea aloha hou a me kahi ex, a ʻaʻole hoʻi lākou i ʻike i ka ʻeha i ka manawa like, he hōʻailona maikaʻi ia e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke noho mau hoaaloha.

Hiki ke hūnā ʻia nā manaʻo o loko o ka pilina iā mākou i kekahi manawa - kā mākou psyche masks i nā manaʻo maoli, e hōʻike ana iā lākou he hewa ʻole. No laila, i ka hoʻoholo ʻana inā e hoaaloha me kahi ex a ʻaʻole paha, e hoʻāʻo e ʻoiaʻiʻo iā ʻoe iho.

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