Nui ka poʻe i ʻike ua ulu lākou i loko o nā ʻohana me nā lewa maikaʻi ʻole a makemake ʻole i kā lākou mau keiki e ola i kēlā ʻike. Akā ʻaʻohe o lākou mau laʻana, ʻaʻole lākou ʻike i ke kumu hoʻohālike kūpono. He aha ka hana ma ia ʻano? E hoʻomanaʻo i nā kumu nui o ka pilina olakino a kūkulu i kahi ʻohana me ka ʻole e haʻalele iā lākou.
Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe he kumu hoʻohālike o kahi ʻohana maikaʻi, ʻo ia ka mea kūpono e hoʻoikaika ai, a laila hōʻino kēia i kou pilina a ʻaʻole ʻae iā ʻoe e hana a mālama i kahi ʻano olakino psychologically i loko o ka ʻohana. ʻO ka mea ʻoluʻolu ʻole ʻo ia ka hana ʻana o nā hanauna e hiki mai ana i nā ʻohana maikaʻi ʻole a hānai i nā keiki i kahi pōʻino.
ʻO ka manawa kēia e wāwahi ai i kēia pōʻai. A no kēia mea pono ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo i kahi e loaʻa ai ke kumu hoʻohālike ʻohana kūpono a me ka mea i manaʻo ʻia he mea maʻamau a me ka mea ʻole. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, hoʻolaha pinepine nā mākua, nā hoaaloha, a me nā koa mai nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni a me nā moʻolelo moʻolelo i ke ʻano maikaʻi ʻole - noho lākou i nā ʻohana kahi i loaʻa ai kahi wahi no ka codependency, manipulation a me ka hoʻomāinoino.
Ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana i kahi ʻohana, pono ʻoe e aʻo pehea e kūkulu ai i nā pilina me kahi hoa. ʻOiaʻiʻo, hoʻoholo nā mea a pau iā ia iho inā makemake ʻo ia i kahi pilina olakino psychologically a i ʻole. Akā, e hoʻomanaʻo i kahi kumu maikaʻi ʻole hiki ke hāʻawi wale i kahi "maʻi", a ʻaʻohe mea ʻē aʻe - ua like ia me ka ulu ʻana i nā hua ma kahi maʻi.
Ma luna o nā koholā hea i kūkulu ʻia ai nā pilina olakino i ko kākou wā?
1. Manaʻo like a me ke aloha
ʻO ka manaʻo o ka wā ma mua "e hoʻomanawanui a hāʻule i ke aloha" ʻaʻole ia e kōkua i ka hoʻokumu ʻana i nā pilina waiwai. Akā, ʻokoʻa nā mea a pau - e hoʻohana ʻia nā ikaika i ka mālama ʻana i ia mau pilina, a ʻaʻole ʻoluʻolu ka hopena.
2. Mare like
ʻAʻole maikaʻi ka manaʻo nui i ka ʻōnaehana patriarchal a matriarchal o ka pilina. ʻO ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana o nā kānaka ma ke kāne ke kūkulu i nā pā ma waena o nā kānaka. Eia kekahi laʻana, nā huaʻōlelo "Ai-yay-yay, he wahine ʻoe!" aiʻole "He kāne ʻoe, no laila pono ʻoe!" hiki ke hoʻohuli i nā hoa kūʻē kekahi i kekahi. ʻO ke kaulike ma waena o nā kāne a me nā wahine, ka mahalo i kekahi, ka hōʻole ʻana e hele i nā ʻano pilikino - ʻo ia ka mea nui.
3. Ka pono o na hoa
Ma mua o ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ka pilina, a ma ka male ʻana, pono ke kanaka e noho pono iā ia iho. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hoʻoheheʻe i nā pilina a nalowale iā ʻoe iho ma ke ʻano he kanaka a he loea i kāu kahua. ʻO ka mea ʻē aʻe, he mea nui ia e aʻo pehea e hoʻohana ai i ka piʻi ʻana o ka naʻau mai ka kamaʻilio ʻana me kekahi e hoʻomohala iā ʻoe iho a me kou mau akamai i nā mea āpau.
4. "Aole!" huikau kuleana
ʻAʻole ʻae hou ʻia nā ʻano hana kahiko i loko o nā ʻohana. ʻO nā pilina kahi e hana ai ke kāne i ke kuleana o ka makua kāne a i ʻole ka wahine i ke kuleana o ka makuahine, he mea ʻino ia a hiki i ka hopena ke alakaʻi i ka hakakā.
5. Ka ʻohana ʻohana
ʻAʻole pono ka mālama ʻana i nā palena pilikino o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻaʻole wale ma ka pōʻai o nā malihini, nā hoahana a me nā hoaaloha, akā i loko o ka ʻohana - akā naʻe, poina ka hapa nui o ka poʻe. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻae ʻia kahi kamaʻilio ʻokoʻa loa i ka ʻohana, no laila ua liʻiliʻi nā palena, akā pono e mahalo ʻia.
6. "Ua hui pū mākou no ka mea makemake mākou"
ʻO ka pilina ka hauʻoli o ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kekahi, ʻaʻole ka hopena o nā pilikia o kekahi, ka pani ʻana o nā ʻeha, nā hemahema a me nā hemahema pilikino e ka hoa.
7. Kākoʻo a kōkua kekahi
Ma nā mea a pau, he mea nui ka lilo ʻana i mea pā o kekahi i kekahi - e kākoʻo i kāu hoa a, inā hiki, e kōkua iā ia e neʻe i mua. ʻO ka nele o ia mau manaʻo e hōʻike ana ʻaʻole lōʻihi ka lōʻihi o kēia pilina.
8. ʻAʻohe kuleana pili
Hiki i kekahi poʻe ke kūkulu i kahi ʻoihana e like me Bill Gates a i ʻole Steve Jobs, akā loaʻa i nā poʻe āpau nā manaʻo maikaʻi loa inā hana lākou i kā lākou hana, hoʻomohala a hoʻonui i ko lākou ʻike.
9. Ka kapu i ka hoopunipuni
ʻAʻohe lokahi o nā pilina manipulative. Ke alakaʻi nei lākou i nā paio i loko o ka ʻohana a me ka hoʻomāinoino ʻana, a ʻo ka hopena e hāʻawi wale i ka ʻeha a me ka hōʻeha.
10. Hoole i ka hana ino ia
I loko o kahi pilina olakino, ʻaʻohe wahi no ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa ʻana iā ia iho ma ka uku o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. E hoʻoholo inā he hana ʻino ʻoe a i ʻole he mea hōʻeha, a e hana ma kāu ʻano me kahi lāʻau lapaʻau.
Hiki i nā mea a pau ke koho i ke kumu hoʻohālike o ko lākou ʻohana - ʻo ia hoʻi ka mea ʻaʻole i kūpono i nā koina "kūpono". E ʻimi pono i kahi hoa pili me nā manaʻo like. He mea nui wale nō e hana i kēia koho me ka noʻonoʻo, me ka pane ʻoiaʻiʻo i hoʻokahi nīnau: "Makemake anei au e noho ma kēia ʻano?"