Hōʻike ka poʻe i hoʻopilikia ʻia iā lākou iho me he mea lā i haʻalele ʻia, ʻehaʻeha, anesthetized, hiki ʻole ke ʻike ua pau nā mea āpau, e hoʻomau i ko lākou ola me ka ʻole o kā lākou hoa a pili hou i kā lākou nohona kaiāulu.

• ʻO ka mea maʻamau, hoʻololi ʻia nā manaʻo, hoʻemi ʻia ka leʻaleʻa a ʻaʻohe mea ʻole. Lilo ʻia ke kumuhana i loko o ka puʻupuʻu hazy o ka hopohopo a me ke kaumaha mai laila e paʻakikī e pakele ai.
• ʻAʻole kākoʻo ke kanaka i nā hana hoʻomākaukau i hoʻomākaukau ʻia e kāna hui e like me " e hoʻāʻo e hoʻohuli iā ʻoe iho "," e lili "A i ʻole ke kilokilo nui" e hala i ka manawa ".
• Loaʻa ka manaʻo i ke kumuhana o ka make ʻana: "nalowale kona wāwae", "paʻa ka hanu" a "manaʻo iā ia iho e palemo ana".
• Kuhi mau ʻo ia i kahi flashback hiki a hiki ke mope i ka wā ma mua. ʻAʻole ʻike ʻo ia i nā hanana aʻe.

ʻOi aku ka ikaika o kēia mau ʻōuli ke kolohe a hū koke ka haki. Mea like inā ʻaʻole i hana ʻia ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana he alo a he alo. I ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, eia naʻe, ʻaʻole pili kēia mau ʻōuli i ke aloha akā i ka hōʻino.

Pilikia paha nā keikikāne ma mua o nā kaikamahine ma hope o ka hemo ʻana a ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka hoʻoponopono ʻana. ʻO nā stereotypes kāne (ikaika, kaohi ʻana i nā mea āpau, invulnerability) paipai iā lākou e lawe i kahi kūlana illusory o ka maluhia, kahi e hoʻolōʻihi ai i ka manawa o ke kala.

ʻO ka wā o ka haki ʻana he wā ia o ka makaʻu vis-à-vis ka ʻai ʻana o ka wai ʻona, nā lāʻau a i ʻole nā ​​lāʻau, i ʻike ʻia ma ke ʻano he mea e hōʻoluʻolu ai i ka ʻeha e pili ana i ka haki. 

Hāʻawi ka pūnaewele a me nā kelepona paʻalima i kēia manawa i ka manawa kūpono e hoʻopaneʻe i ka hopena o ka interlocutor a e haki me ka lawe ʻole ʻana i nā pilikia he nui. Ke kū mākou i mua o kekahi, lawe mākou i ka piha o ko lākou naʻau: kaumaha, pūʻiwa, hoʻohilahila, hopohopo ...

Akā he mea ʻino loa ia no ka mea i koe. Hāpai ka hope i ka hoʻoholo me ka hiki ʻole ke hōʻike i kona huhū, kona ʻawaʻawa. ʻO ka haki ākea ʻana ma nā ʻoihana pūnaewele kahi ʻanuʻu hou aʻe i ka makaʻu: ke kūlana "ma ke ʻano he kāne" hoʻololi koke ʻia i "hoʻokahi" a i ʻole, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka enigmatic, i "paʻakikī", ʻike ʻole ʻia e ka hoa a me ka mea i ʻike ʻia mai nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.

I ka poʻe ʻōpio a i ʻole nā ​​ʻōpio ʻōpio, ʻo ka manaʻo o ka mehameha, ka ʻeha a me ka hopohopo ka mea i hiki i ka manaʻo o ka make ke hoʻopā iā ia a i ʻole hoʻokahuli iā ia. Ua hoʻonui ʻia ka pilina a hānai ʻia i kāna narcissism a nui loa a manaʻo ʻo ia ua ninini loa. ʻAʻole waiwai hou ʻo ia i kekahi mea, a manaʻo he waiwai ʻole ke aloha. Hiki iā ia ke hana ikaika i ka ʻōpio iā ia iho.

He mea nui ka ʻohana i kēia wā ʻeha. ʻO kēia ka manawa e e hoʻolohe iā ia me ka ʻole o ka hoʻokolokolo ʻana, hāʻawi iā ia nui ka nānā ʻana aku, o ka palupalu me ke komo ʻole ʻana i loko o kāna pilikino. He mea nui nō hoʻi e hāʻawi i ka maikaʻi o ka ʻōpio makua i manaʻo ʻia e kekahi. 

Ma hope, ʻike ʻia ka haki ma ke ʻano he taming i ka ʻeha a me kekahi kaohi ma luna o nā ola o kēlā me kēia. Hiki iā ia ke:

• E ʻike i nā moʻolelo aloha hou a me ka hauʻoli hou.
• Hoʻomaʻamaʻa i kou mau makemake.
• Loaʻa i nā mākau kamaʻilio maikaʻi aku, keu hoʻi ma ka waha o kou mau naʻau.
• Nīnau i kou ao i loko, e hoʻomanawanui hou aku, i ke aloha "ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi".
• E ʻike he pōkole paha kaʻeha o ke kaʻawale ma mua o kaʻeha o ka kaʻawaleʻole.

Hoʻoulu ka manaʻo aloha. Manaʻo nā ipo ʻeha a pau i ka pono e ninini i loko o kahi hana noʻeau a palapala paha. ʻO ke ala i ka sublimation ke ʻano he ala pakele e hoʻonui ai i ka ʻeha, kahi ʻano leʻaleʻa o ka ʻeha ʻana, me ka ʻole o ka ʻoluʻolu.

« ʻO ka mea hope loa, he mea liʻiliʻi loa ka haʻalele maikaʻi ʻana o kekahi i kekahi, no ka mea, inā maikaʻi mākou, ʻaʻole mākou e haʻalele i kekahi i kekahi », Ua nalowale ʻo Marcel Proust, Albertine (1925).

« ʻAʻole i manaʻo nui ʻia ke aloha e like me nā mea hoʻohoka, i nā ʻeha. ʻO ke aloha kahi manawa palena ʻole e kali ai no ka mea ʻē aʻe, ʻoiai ʻo ka inaina ka mea paʻa. Ma waena o nā mea ʻelua, nā ʻāpana o ke kali ʻana, nā kānalua, nā manaʻolana a me ke kaumaha e hōʻino ai i ke kumuhana. »ʻO Didier Lauru.