ʻO ka helu Heluhelu hope loa i hana ʻia ma 2013 e hōʻike nei i kēia manawa, hoʻokahi o nā keiki he ʻumi e noho nei i kahi ʻohana i hui ʻia. Inā kākaʻikahi ka hanana i kekahi mau makahiki i hala aku nei, ua lilo ia i mea maʻamau i nā makahiki i hala iho nei. E kia i ka pilina ma waena o nā kaikaina hapalua.

ʻO ka hōʻea ʻana i ka ʻohana o kahi kaikaina a i ʻole kaikuahine kaikuahine he hanana nui loa i ke ola o kahi keiki. ʻAʻole hoʻoikaika kēia keiki ʻē aʻe i ka pilina ʻohana ma waena o ka makua a me ka makua makua akā hōʻoia hoʻi i ka hoʻokaʻawale hope loa ʻana o nā mākua ola ʻelua.

Haehae ke keiki ma waena o ka hoka ("ʻaʻole e hui pū kuʻu mau mākua") a me ka hauʻoli ("E noho hope wau i kahi ʻohana paʻa hou"). Hoʻohui ʻia, ua kaʻana pū ʻia ka hauʻoli o ka lilo ʻana i kaikaina / kaikaina me ka manaʻo lili a me ka hoʻoneʻe ʻia ʻana: . 'e loaʻa i koʻu makuakāne / koʻu makuahine'.

Ke hoʻoholo ka makua e loaʻa kahi keiki me ka makua makua, a laila hoʻololi ka hope i ke kūlana, ʻaʻole ʻo ia wale nō ka hoa o ka makuakāne a i ʻole ka makuahine akā lilo i makuakāne a i ʻole ka makuahine o ka kaikaina hapa / kaikuaʻana. Hoʻokumu ʻia kahi pilina paʻa a hoʻoikaika pinepine i ka ʻohana.

Inā he mau kaikaina kāna, he wahi paʻa ko ke keiki i waena o kona mau kaikaina. ʻO ka hōʻea ʻana o kona kaikaina a i ʻole kona kaikuahine hiki ke hoʻonāukiuki i kona kūlana, e laʻa me ka hoʻolilo iā ia e hele mai ka muli loa a i ka muli loa i ke kaikaina. Hoʻohui ʻia, ʻike paha ke keiki iā ia iho ʻoluʻolu ʻole i loko o kahi ʻohana hui hou a kahi āna i manaʻo ai ua kāpae ʻia. No laila he mea pono e hōʻoia iā ia, paipai iā ia a hoʻohilahila iā ia.

No kēia, pono e hoʻomaopopo ka makua iā ia e mau ka ikaika o kā lāua pilina a ʻo ia ka hua o ke aloha ma waena o ʻelua mau mākua. Ke hoʻomaha nei i kona mau makaʻu ma ka hōʻoia ʻana iā ia i ke aloha a kēlā me kēia mākua nona he mea nui ia i ka hele mai ka pēpē. He mea nui nō hoʻi e nānā pono i kāu mau pono i kēia manawa.

Hiki i ka makua makua i paipai i ke keiki ke mālama i ka pēpē a waiwai iā ia ma ke kono ʻana iā ia e hoʻohana pono i kona wahi o ke kaikaina.

ʻO ka mea hope loa, inā noho hoʻokahi ka makua ʻē aʻe a i ʻole ke loaʻa nei ka pilikia me ka pilina hou, pono lākou e hōʻole i ka haʻi ʻana i ke keiki i ka wā hiki. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻo ke keiki e manaʻo nei ua kaumaha ka makua ʻē aʻe e paʻakikī ia e ʻoluʻolu i loko o kona ʻohana hou. Ma muli o ke kūpaʻa, e ʻike ʻo ia i ka hewa a me ka lōʻihi e loaʻa i kona wahi me ka ʻike e ʻeha ana kāna makua ʻē aʻe i kēia uniona hou.

'Lelo mākou e pili ana i nā kaikaina "quasi" ke hui pū ka ʻohana i hui ʻia i kekahi mau keiki mai nā ʻuniona like ʻole, e laʻa me nā keiki a ka makuakāne i noho i ka hale. ʻOi aku ka maʻalahi o kēia pilina pilikino e mālama i nā keiki ʻōpio ma mua o nā ʻōpio. I kēia ʻano hihia, hiki i ka mahele like ʻana o nā mākua, ka manaʻo o ka ʻāina a me ka wahi o nā kaikaina ke lilo i pilikia. E nānā naʻe, i waena o lākou, makemake nā keiki e ʻōlelo i nā kaikuaʻana hapa ma mua o nā kaikunāne a me nā kaikuahine "quasi"; ua hoʻokumu ʻia kahi pilina ikaika a hohonu, me ka nānā ʻole i kā lākou mau namunamu.

No laila ke ʻoluʻolu a ʻike ka poʻe āpau i ko lākou wahi, pono e hoʻonohonoho i kekahi mau hālāwai ma waena o nā keiki ma mua o ka neʻe pū ʻana. ʻO ke kaʻanalike ʻana i ka manawa leʻaleʻa a hui hou kekahi i kekahi mau manawa pinepine no kekahi mau mahina he kanalua he mea pono e pono ai e hoʻonāukiuki ʻole i nā keiki i ko lākou ola mau.

Inā hoʻoholo nā mākua ʻelua e noho pū a pono nā keiki e kaʻana like i ka hale (i kekahi manawa a i kahi lumi), a laila ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi e waiho iā lākou e lawe i ko lākou mau māka. Nā kiʻi, nā kiʻi o nā lālā āpau o ka ʻohana i hui ʻia, ʻoi aku a i ʻole hoʻonaninani manuahi i loko o nā lumi moe, a pēlā aku. He mea nui e waiho iā lākou e lilo i kuleana no ia wahi.

ʻO nā leʻaleʻa maʻamau (nā hana i waho, nā huakaʻi, a pēlā aku.) He manawa kūpono loa ia e hoʻoikaika ai i ka pilina ma waena o nā keiki. Pēlā nō ia no nā hana liʻiliʻi e hoʻoikaika ai i ko lākou manaʻo no ka ʻohana like (ke hele nei i ka zoo i kēlā me kēia mahina, ka pō pancake i ka Lāpule, a pēlā aku.).

ʻO ka hōʻea ʻana o kahi lālā hou i loko o ka ʻohana ʻaʻole ia he mea nui no ke keiki, hoʻomākaukau iā ia, e hōʻoia ana iā ia a mahalo iā ia nā hana āpau e kōkua iā ia e ola i kēia pae nui i kona ola e like me ka hiki.