Pehea e hana ai me nā manaʻo mehameha - 5 mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo

Inā mau ka manaʻo o ke kōkua ʻole, ka manaʻolana, a me ka manaʻolana no nā pule he ʻelua, pono paha ke kamaʻilio ʻana me ke kauka ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo a i ʻole psychotherapist. ʻAe, inā ʻaʻole paʻakikī loa kāu hihia, eia kekahi mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo pehea e hoʻopau koke ai i ka manaʻo hoʻokaumaha o ka mehameha.

1. Hana, mai manao

Me he mea lā e hoʻopuni ana ka loneli iā mākou. ʻO ka hopena, hoʻolimalima mākou i ka manawa nui me ka minamina iā mākou iho a ʻaʻohe hana. A ʻo ka hapanui pinepine, maopopo lākou ʻaʻole e loli kēia. Pono e haʻalele koke ia mau manaʻo. E ʻimi i kahi mea e hana ai i kēia manawa.

Hana ma ka māla. E hoʻomaʻemaʻe i ka hale kaʻa. Holoi i kou kaʻa. Kūkākūkā me nā hoalauna. Kāhea i kāu mau hoaaloha a hele i kahi cafe a i ʻole kiʻiʻoniʻoni me lākou. E hele wāwae. ʻO ka hoʻololi ʻana i nā hiʻohiʻona e kōkua i ka hoʻohuli ʻana mai ka melancholy hoʻokaumaha. ʻAʻole hiki ke pilikia inā pilikia ʻoe i kekahi mea.

2. E lokomaikaʻi iā ʻoe iho

Ke kaumaha mākou, ʻaʻole kōkua ʻo self-flagellation. Akā, pōʻino, hana mākou a pau i kēia me ka makemake ʻole. Eia kekahi laʻana, ua hana hewa mākou ma ka hana i nui ke kumu kūʻai, a i ʻole he hakakā me ka hoa a i ʻole ka hoaaloha a i kēia manawa ʻaʻole mākou e kamaʻilio me ia.

A i ʻole he nui loa kā mākou mau lilo, a ʻaʻohe wahi e loaʻa kālā ai. Ma mua o ke kamaʻilio ʻana me kekahi i nā mea a pau e hopohopo nei iā mākou, hōʻiliʻili mākou iā mākou iho. A ʻo ka hopena, manaʻo mākou mehameha loa.

Ke ʻeha mākou, he mea nui e mālama iā mākou iho. ʻOiaʻiʻo, poina pinepine mākou i kēia ma muli o nā pilikia koʻikoʻi. ʻO ka hopena, ʻaʻole lawa ka hiamoe, ʻaʻole mākou ʻai maikaʻi, ʻaʻole mākou e komo i ka haʻuki, hoʻonui mākou iā mākou iho. ʻO ka manawa kēia e "reboot" a hoʻihoʻi i ke koena i nalowale, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ke kino. E hele i ka paka, e ʻauʻau, e heluhelu i puke ma kāu cafe punahele.

3. Noho hamama

ʻOiai hiki ke noho mehameha i ka lehulehu, kōkua ke kamaʻilio e hoʻohuli i ka liʻiliʻi no kekahi manawa. ʻO ka lāʻau lapaʻau maikaʻi loa ʻo ka puka ʻana i waho o ka hale a ʻimi i kahi hui. Maikaʻi inā he pūʻulu o nā hoaaloha, akā ʻo nā papa hui, nā hui hoʻoliʻiliʻi, ka huakaʻi a me ka hele wāwae i nā hui he ala maikaʻi loa ia. He mea paʻakikī ke noʻonoʻo e pili ana i kou kaumaha i ka wā o kahi kamaʻilio hoihoi.

4. E ʻike i kahi mea hou

ʻO kahi ala ʻoiaʻiʻo e hoʻoponopono ai i nā manaʻo kaumaha, ʻo ia ka ʻike a aʻo i nā mea hou. Ke hoʻohuli ʻoe i ka "gene curiosity" a hana i nā mea hoihoi a hoihoi iā ʻoe, ʻaʻohe wahi no nā blues. E ho'āʻo e hoʻokele e hana ma ke ala hou.

No ka laʻana, nā kūlanakauhale liʻiliʻi, nā paka, nā nahele, nā mālama kūlohelohe, nā hale hōʻikeʻike, nā wahi poina. Ma ke ala, e ho'āʻo e aʻo i kahi mea hou, e hālāwai me nā poʻe hou, i mea e hoʻomanaʻo ai.

5. Kōkua i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe

ʻO ke ala ʻoi loa e hoʻōki i ka minamina iā ʻoe iho ʻo ke kōkua ʻana i kekahi. ʻAʻole kēia manaʻo e holo koke ʻoe i nā alanui e hoʻopakele i ka poʻe home ʻole. Aia kekahi mau ala ʻē aʻe. E hoʻokaʻawale i kou ʻaʻahu, e hōʻiliʻili i nā mea āu e ʻaʻahu ʻole ai, a hāʻawi iā lākou i kahi aloha.

Hāʻawi i nā mea uila kahiko akā hana, nā kīʻaha, nā lako, nā moena, nā mea pāʻani a me nā mea pono ʻole i ka poʻe nele. E lilo ia i mea pono no lākou, akā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi no ʻoe. Inā ma waena o nā hoalauna he poʻe penihana, nā maʻi moe moe a i ʻole ka poʻe mehameha e pono ai ke kākoʻo, kipa iā lākou, kamaʻilio, mālama iā lākou i kahi mea ʻono, pāʻani i nā pāʻani papa.

ʻOiai mehameha ʻoe, e noʻonoʻo ʻoe pehea ka manaʻo iā lākou? ʻO ka hui pū ʻana, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ka lanakila ʻana i ka mehameha. E hoʻomanaʻo, hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻopau i nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole wale nō me ke kōkua o nā hana ʻike.

E pili ana i ka mea kākau: ʻO Suzanne Cain he psychologist, mea kākau moʻolelo, a me ka mea kākau kiʻi i hoʻokumu ʻia ma Los Angeles.