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Hoʻokumu ke kāne a me ka wahine i nā pilina e like me ko lāua mau manaʻo a me nā manaʻo. Akā, aia i kēlā me kēia kanaka ko lākou iho. A ʻaʻole kū like ko mākou mau manaʻo. He aha ka mea e koi pinepine ai i kā mākou hoa e haʻihaʻi a pehea e pale ai i ka kaʻawale?
Aʻo maʻamau mākou i ke kūkulu ʻana i nā pilina ma o nā kumu hoʻohālike makua (ʻaʻole kūleʻa mau) a me kā mākou ʻike ponoʻī. ʻO ia hoʻi, ke aʻo nei mākou mai nā hewa. A inā ʻaʻole maopopo mākou i nā mea o ka puʻuwai, ʻaʻole mākou e leo i ko mākou mau manaʻo, ʻaʻole mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā pono, ʻaʻole mākou e kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā manaʻo, ʻaʻole mākou e kūkākūkā i nā paio, ʻaʻole mākou e manaʻo like mai ka hoa. . A haʻalele kekahi hoa, ʻaʻole maopopo iā mākou ke kumu.
He aha nā kumu maʻamau i holo ʻole ai ka pilina?
1. Kūlike ʻole me ke kuleana i makemake ʻia ma ka pilina
Ua makemake ʻo ia e aloha ʻia a makemake ʻia. A hana ʻo ia iā ia i kaikamahine. Makemake ʻo ia e lilo i wahine hale, a lawe ʻo ia iā ia i nā hōʻikeʻike a kamaʻilio pū me ia no nā hola ma nā kumuhana naʻauao. A i ʻole makemake ʻo ia e lilo i hoa like nona, he hoa ola, a hoʻāʻo ʻo ia e hoʻoholo i nā mea āpau nona a i ʻole, e koi iā ia e hoʻoholo i nā hoʻoholo nona.
Hiki ke hoʻololi i nā kuleana ma lalo o ka mana o ke kūlana force majeure. Eia kekahi laʻana, ke maʻi kekahi o nā hoa, a mālama kekahi iā ia. Inā loaʻa ke aloha i loko o kahi kāne a hoʻomanawanui lākou i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana, e hoʻoikaika wale kēia i ka hui. Ke kamaʻilio nei wau e pili ana i nā kūlana i loaʻa ʻole nā kumu kūpono no ka hoʻololi ʻana i nā kuleana. A laila, ua make ka hui.
Ua ʻike ʻo Inna (33) ua hoʻōki kāna hoa kāne ʻo Alexei (51) i ka moe ʻana me ia, lawe ʻo ia i kāna kūʻai, kūʻai aku i nā lole e like me kona ʻono a kāhiko iā ia e like me kāna pēpē punahele. Ua lilo ʻo ia i kaikamahine. Ma hope o kekahi mau ho'āʻo kūleʻa ʻole e kūkākūkā, e hoʻololi i ke kūlana, ua uhaʻi ʻo Inna i nā pilina.
2. Ke komo hewa
Hoʻopili kēia i ka hoʻomāinoino ʻana i ka naʻau, ke kaomi ʻana, ka nānā ʻole ʻana i nā pono o kahi hoa, ka hoʻomalu, ka hoʻokau ʻana i ka ʻike honua. I kekahi manawa hiki i ka hoa ke ʻae i ka uhaki palena no ka manawa lōʻihi, ʻoi aku ka hilinaʻi ʻana i ka pilina. Akā ma hope a ma hope paha, koho ke kanaka olakino iā ia iho.
ʻO Victoria (34) me Maxim (26). Ua pāpāʻo Maxim iā ia e hālāwai me kona mau hoaaloha, e hele i kahi me kaʻole o ia, e hele i nā hanana kahi e loaʻa ai nā kāne. Ua alohaʻo Victoria iā Maxim a ua hanaʻo ia i ka mea maikaʻi loa e mālama i nā pilina i waiwai iā ia. Akā, i ka wā i ho'āʻo aiʻo Maxim e pāpā i kāna leʻaleʻa punahele - ka luʻuʻana, me ka hikiʻole iā ia ke noʻonoʻo iā ia iho, ua pau ka hoʻomanawanui o Victoria, a ua uhakiʻo ia i ka pilina. "Aloha au iā ia, ʻaʻole au i hoʻopunipuni iā ia, akā makemake wau i ka luʻu a ʻaʻole hiki iaʻu ke ola me ka ʻole," i hoʻopiʻi ai ʻo Victoria.
3. Kūlike ʻole ka uaki kūloko
ʻAʻole pili kēia kumu i ka manaʻo ponoʻī, akā i ke koʻikoʻi o kēia mau pilina no ke kanaka a me nā ʻano like ʻole.
Anna (35) dated Jim (40). He kāne maikaʻi lāua, a ua ʻike lōʻihi ʻo Anna iā ia iho ʻo ka wahine a Jim a me ka makuahine o kāna mau keiki. ʻAʻohe ona kānalua e pau nā mea a pau i ka male ʻana. Ua aloha ʻo Jim, akā ʻaʻole wikiwiki e noi. Ua makemake ʻo ia e ulu maoli nā hanana a me ka mālie. He pilina wale nō ʻo ia. Akā ʻaʻole hoʻomanawanui ʻo Anna, hoʻokau iā Jim, koi ʻo ia, ua hoʻokaʻawale ʻo ia iā ia a no laila ua kāohi ʻo ia i kāna mau ʻanuʻu āpau. A ʻo Jim, ʻoiai ke aloha, haʻalele iā Anna. ʻAʻole ʻo ia i mākaukau e mare i kahi malihini, ʻo ia hoʻi, ua hoʻomaka mua e hōʻike i kona ʻano imperious.
He aha e hana?
E leo i kāu mau manaʻo. E hōʻike i kāu hoa pili i ke ʻano o ka pilina āu e makemake ai. Makemake ʻoe e lilo i hoaaloha a hoa, a i ʻole ke kali nei ʻoe i kahi pilina aloha, aloha. A i ʻole ke noʻonoʻo nei ʻoe i kēia hoa ma ke ʻano he hoa kāne. E hōʻike koke kēia iā ʻoe inā hiki ke hui pū i kāu mau kāne. ʻAʻole i noʻonoʻo pinepine ka hoa pili i kekahi ʻano o ka pilina, a inā ʻoe e huki i kona manaʻo i ka pilikia, hiki iā ia ke ʻae i kou kūlana, kūkulu hou i ka pilina i ʻoluʻolu ʻolua iā lāua.
Hōʻike pono. E haʻi i kāu hoa i kāu mea e pono ai, i kāu mea e makemake ai i kēia manawa. I ka pilina, ʻaʻole hiki ke hoʻopaʻa ʻia nā pono i nā manawa a pau; ʻo ia ka mea e hauʻoli ʻole ai ʻoe. I loko o nā hui kuʻikahi, hauʻoli ka hoa. Inā ʻaʻole ʻoe, ʻaʻohe kumu o ka mālama ʻana i ka uniona.
E kamaʻilio e pili ana i nā manaʻo. A e pili ana i ka maikaʻi - ka hauʻoli, ke aloha, a me ka maikaʻi ʻole - ka huhū, ke kaumaha, ka huhū. Pono ka hoa e helu me kou mau manaʻo, no ka mea, ʻaʻole i hānau ʻia ma o lākou iho, akā i kāu pilina. Inā loaʻa nā manaʻo maikaʻi ʻole, pono ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo i ko lākou kumu a hoʻololi i kekahi mea.
Kūkākūkā i nā paio me ke akea. Hoʻomaka ke kūkākūkā ʻana i nā paio me kahi ʻōlelo ākea e pili ana i kāu mea makemake ʻole. Pono ka hoa e helu pū me ʻoe. He nui ka poʻe e hopohopo nei e lawe mai i ka hakakā no ke kūkākūkā, e hoʻololi iā ia mai kahi ʻano huna i kahi wehe, no ka mea hiki ke hoʻopau i nā pilina. Akā ʻo kēia wale nō ke ʻano ʻaʻole makemake nā hoa e hoʻolohe kekahi i kekahi. I loko o nā kāne like ʻole, hoʻopaʻapaʻa, hoʻopau ʻia, lawe i ka pilina i kahi pae hou o ka pilina a me ka hilinaʻi. ʻO ka noho mālie e alakaʻi ai i ka huhū passive, kahi e hoʻopau ai i ka male me kahi kiʻekiʻe o ka hiki.