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Nā mākua palekana: he aha ka hopena i nā keiki?
"Ke maʻi mau nei kaʻu kaikamahine, akā manaʻo wau e hāʻawi ana wau iā ia i nā mea āpau, ʻaʻole maopopo iaʻu. "Ua hoʻolālā mākou i nā hana he nui no ia i kēia makahiki, akā ke nānā aku nei ʻo ia i ke kaumaha, no ke aha? Heluhelu mākou i nā kakini a me nā kakini o kēia mau ʻano hōʻike ma nā kūkākūkā kūkākūkā a me nā ʻoihana pūnaewele. ʻO nā mākua e hōʻike nei i ko lākou hopohopo no kā lākou mau keiki, akā naʻe, manaʻo lākou ua hoʻokō lākou. ʻO nā makuahine hopohopo, luhi e kokoke ana e pahū.
He aha nā manawa ʻakaʻaka mākou e noho nei? Aia nā mākua i kēia lā ma lalo o ke kaomi ʻana mai ke kaiāulu e koi ana iā lākou e kūleʻa i nā wahi āpau. Manaʻo lākou e lilo i mea maikaʻi loa ma kā lākou hana a makemake lākou e lilo i mau mākua hoʻohālike. ʻO ka makaʻu i ka hana hewa, ʻo ka hoʻohewa ʻia ʻana e nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. Me ka ʻike ʻole, hoʻolaha lākou i kā lākou mau manaʻolana no ka holomua ma luna o kā lākou mau keiki. Akā ke pau nei ka manawa. No laila, hoʻopau ʻia e ka hewa o ka ʻike ʻole ʻana i kā lākou mau keiki, hoʻoikaika lākou e pane a manaʻo i kā lākou mau manaʻo liʻiliʻi a me nā makemake. Ke kuhi hewa ʻana…
ʻO nā keiki ʻaʻohe manawa hou e hanu
Ua ʻike ʻo Liliane Holstein i kēia hanana no nā makahiki he nui i kāna hana psychoanalysis kahi i loaʻa ai iā ia nā mākua a me nā keiki i ka haunaele. "Ua kaumaha nā mākua i kēia lā. Manaʻo lākou ua hana maikaʻi lākou i ka hoʻokō ʻana i nā pono āpau i manaʻo ʻia o kā lākou mau keiki, akā ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ua hewa lākou. Ma ka pale nui ʻana i kā lākou mau keiki, hoʻonāwaliwali lākou iā lākou ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe. “ No ka psychoanalyst, ʻaʻohe manawa o nā keiki e moeʻuhane e pili ana i ka mea e leʻaleʻa iā lākou no ka mea ua hoʻokō koke ʻia ko lākou makemake a i kekahi manawa ke kali ʻia. "Ke hana kekahi i nā mea āpau no ʻoe, ʻaʻole ʻoe mākaukau e kū i ka hemahema a i ʻole ka pilikia maʻalahi," hoʻomau ka loea. ʻAʻole ʻike nā keiki he hiki ke hāʻule a ʻike iā lākou iho nalo. Pono lākou e hoʻomākaukau mai ka wā kamaliʻi. ʻO ke keiki liʻiliʻi e hoʻolei i kahi mea ma ka honua e hoʻāʻo i ke kanaka makua. Pono ʻo ia e hoʻomaopopo ʻo nā mea a pau āna e hana ai, ʻaʻole mau ka makua e ʻohi. ʻOi aku ka hoʻomaʻamaʻa ʻana o ke keiki i nā pilikia, ʻoi aku ka nui o kā mākou kōkua iā ia e kūʻokoʻa. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke noʻonoʻo i ka hauʻoli o ke keiki liʻiliʻi ke hoʻokō ʻo ia i kekahi mea ma kāna iho. ʻO ka mea ʻē aʻe, ma ke kōkua ʻana iā ia, ma ka hoʻopuka ʻana i kona mau makemake a me kāna mau makemake i luna ona, hoʻopau mākou i ka hoʻokaumaha iā ia. E like me ka make ʻole o ka hoʻoulu ʻana iā ia, ʻo ka ʻimi ʻana i nā koina āpau e hoʻomohala i kona mau akamai ma ke kau ʻana iā ia i kahi wikiwiki me nā hana hoʻomaha.
ʻO ka hopohopo, ke kaumaha, ka huhū ... nā hōʻailona o ka hōʻoluʻolu
“Ua hauʻoli au i ka luhi o nā keiki,” wahi a Liliane Holstein. ʻO ka ʻōlelo a lākou e loaʻa nei, ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke lawe hou. ʻAʻole maopopo iā lākou kēia mele i kau ʻia ma luna o lākou a ʻo ka nānā mau ʻana o kēia mau mākua iā lākou. ” ʻO ia ka pilikia ʻO ka hapa nui o ka manawa, manaʻo nā mākua e hana maikaʻi ana lākou ke hana lākou i nā mea āpau no lākou a i ʻole lākou e noho i kēlā me kēia minuke o kā lākou papahana. I ka wā e nīnau ai i nā nīnau ʻO ka maʻamau, ʻo ke keiki ponoʻī ke kani i nā bele hoʻāla. "No ka haʻalele ʻana i kona pilikia, koi ʻia ʻo ia e hana koʻikoʻi, underlines the psychoanalyst. Hoʻopuka ʻo ia i kahi uwē hōʻailona o ka makaʻala ma ke kaumaha, hoʻopaʻapaʻa a i ʻole ka hana ʻino me kona mau mākua. »Ma kekahi ʻano ʻē aʻe, hiki iā ia ke hōʻike i ka ʻeha mau: ʻeha ʻōpū, pilikia ʻili, pilikia hanu, pilikia ka hiamoe.
Loaʻa i nā mākua nā kī e wāwahi ai i ka paʻa
I kēia mau kūlana, lilo ia i mea wikiwiki e pane. Akā, peheaʻoe e loaʻa ai ke kaulike kūpono: aloha, pale i kāu pēpē me ka hoʻokaumahaʻole iā ia, a kōkua iā ia e kūʻokoʻa. "He mana ko nā mākua e hoʻoponopono i ka nui o nā pilikia noʻonoʻo i kā lākou mau keiki inā ʻike lākou i ke ʻano o kahi pilikia," wahi a ka psychoanalyst. Ke kūkākūkā lākou, hoʻomaopopo pinepine lākou i ka hopohopo a lākou e lawe mai ai i ko lākou ʻohana. ” Ma luna o nā mea a pau, pono ke keiki liʻiliʻi i ka palupalu, kahi mea nui no kona kaulike.. Akā, pono mākou e hāʻawi iā ia i ka manawa a me ka manawa e hiki ai iā ia ke moeʻuhane a hōʻike i kāna hana.