Inā no ka makua ke ʻano maʻamau o ka psychotherapy he kamaʻilio, a laila ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o nā keiki e kamaʻilio me ke kauka ma ka ʻōlelo o ka pāʻani. Me ke kōkua o nā mea pāʻani e maʻalahi iā ia ke hoʻomaopopo a hōʻike i nā manaʻo.
I loko o ka psychology i kēia lā, he mau wahi liʻiliʻi e hoʻohana i ka pāʻani ma ke ʻano he mea hana. He mea hahai ʻo Elena Piotrovskaya psychologist i ka lāʻau pāʻani e pili ana i ke keiki. No ke keiki, manaʻo ka mea akamai, he ʻano kūlohelohe ka honua o nā mea pāʻani, he nui nā kumuwaiwai ʻike a huna.
Psychologies: Loaʻa iā ʻoe kahi hoʻonohonoho maʻamau o nā mea pāʻani a i ʻole he pūʻulu ʻokoʻa no kēlā me kēia keiki?
Elena Piotrovskaya: ʻO nā mea pāʻani ka ʻōlelo a ke keiki. Ke ho'āʻo nei mākou e hāʻawi iā ia me nā "hua'ōlelo" likeʻole, ua māheleʻia e nā māka, ma nāʻano. Loaʻa i nā keiki nā mea like ʻole o ka honua i loko, ua piha lākou i nā manaʻo he nui. A ʻo kā mākou hana ka hāʻawi ʻana i kahi mea hana no ka hōʻike ʻana iā lākou. ʻO ka huhū - nā mea pāʻani koa: pistols, bow, sword. No ka hōʻikeʻana i ke aloha, ka mahanahana, ke aloha, ponoʻoe i kahi mea'ē aʻe - kahi kīhini o nā keiki, nā papa, nā pākeke. Inā ʻaʻole i ʻike ʻia kekahi o nā mea pāʻani i loko o ka lumi pāʻani, a laila e hoʻoholo ke keiki he kūpono ʻole kekahi o kāna mau manaʻo. A he aha ka mea e lawe ai i kēia manawa, hoʻoholo kēlā me kēia kanaka nona iho.
Aia kekahi mau mea pāʻani i pāpā ʻia i loko o kāu «nursery»?
ʻAʻohe mea, no ka mea,ʻo wau, ma keʻano he mea hoʻoponopono, mālama i ke keiki me kaʻae piha a me ka hoʻokolokoloʻole, a i loko o koʻu lumi he mea hikiʻole ke hana i kekahi mea "hewa" a "hewa" ma ke kumu. Akā ʻo ia ke kumu ʻaʻohe oʻu mau mea pāʻani paʻakikī e pono ai ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo, no ka mea ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻokō i kēia. A e hoʻāʻo ʻoe e kūleʻa i ka wā e hana ai ʻoe i ke one!
ʻO kaʻu hana a pau ke manaʻo nei i ka mea kūʻai liʻiliʻi hiki iā ia ke hana i kāna mea e makemake ai ma ʻaneʻi, a e ʻae ʻia kēia e aʻu - a laila e hoʻomaka e hōʻike ʻia ka ʻike o kona honua i waho. Hiki iā ia ke kono iaʻu i ka pāʻani. ʻAʻole pāʻani kekahi poʻe lapaʻau, akā ʻae wau i ke kono. A i ka wā e koho ai ke keiki iaʻu ma ke ʻano he villain, kau wau i kahi mask. Inā ʻaʻohe maka, noi mai ʻo ia iaʻu e ʻōlelo me ka leo weliweli. Hiki iā ʻoe ke pana iaʻu. Ina he kaua pahikaua, e lawe io au i ka pale.
Ehia mau manawa e hakakā ai nā keiki me ʻoe?
ʻO ke kaua kahi hōʻike o ka huhū nui, a ʻo ka ʻeha a me ka huhū he mea ia e ʻike koke ai nā keiki āpau. Pīhoihoi pinepine nā mākua i ka huhū o kā lākou keiki. ʻO kēlā me kēia keiki, ma waho aʻe o ke aloha nui i nā mākua, aia kekahi mau koi iā lākou. ʻO ka mea pōʻino, kānalua pinepine nā keiki e haʻi iā lākou no ka makaʻu o nalowale ke aloha makua.
Ma koʻu keʻena, ʻaʻole ka pāʻani ke ʻano o ke aʻo ʻana, akā he wahi no ka hōʻike ʻana i nā manaʻo.
I loko o koʻu lumi, hele lākou ma ke ala akahele e ʻike ai i ko lākou mau manaʻo ma ke ʻano pāʻani a me ke aʻo ʻana e hōʻike iā lākou. ʻAʻole lākou e hahau i ko lākou makuahine a makua kāne paha ma ke poʻo me kahi noho - hiki iā lākou ke pana, hoʻōho, ʻōlelo: "He ʻino ʻoe!" Pono ka hoʻokuʻu ʻana i ka huhū.
Pehea ka wikiwiki e hoʻoholo ai nā keiki i ka mea pāʻani e lawe?
He ala hoʻokahi ko kēlā me kēia keiki ma o kā mākou hana. ʻO ka papa mua, hoʻomaka paha e lawe i kekahi mau kau, i ia manawa e hoʻomaopopo ke keiki nona iho i kahi i hele mai ai a me nā mea e hiki ke hana ma aneʻi. A ʻokoʻa pinepine ia mai kāna ʻike maʻamau. Pehea ke ʻano o ka makuahine mālama inā hilahila ke keiki? “ʻAe, e Vanechka, ke kū nei ʻoe. E nānā i ka nui o nā kaʻa, nā pahi kaua, aloha nui ʻoe, hele!" He aha kaʻu e hana nei? ʻŌlelo ʻoluʻolu wau: "Vanya, ua hoʻoholo ʻoe e kū ma ʻaneʻi no ka manawa."
ʻO ka pilikia, me he mea lā ua pau ka manawa i ka makuahine, akā lawe lākou i ke keikikāne - pono lākou e hana. A hana ka loea e like me kāna ala: "Aloha, Vanya, ma aneʻi hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻohana i nā mea āpau, e like me kou makemake." ʻAʻohe hula me nā pahu kani a puni ke keiki. No ke aha mai? No ka mea, e komo ʻo ia i loko o ka lumi ke oʻo.
I kekahi manawa aia nā hana "ma luna o nā ʻelima": i ka wā mua, huki pono nā keiki, e like me ka mea e pono ai. I ko lākou pāʻani ʻana, nānā lākou i hope iaʻu - ʻōlelo lākou, hiki paha? ʻO ka pilikia, pāpā ʻia nā keiki ma ka home, ma ke alanui, ma ke kula, ʻaʻole pāʻani, ʻōlelo lākou, kaupalena lākou. A i loko o koʻu keʻena, hiki iā lākou ke hana i nā mea āpau, koe wale nō ka luku ʻana i nā mea pāʻani, e hōʻeha kino iā lākou iho a me aʻu.
Akā haʻalele ke keiki i ke keʻena a loaʻa iā ia iho ma ka home, kahi e pāʻani ai nā pāʻani e like me nā lula kahiko, kahi i kaupalena ʻia ai ʻo ia ...
He ʻoiaʻiʻo he mea nui i nā mākua ke aʻo ʻia ke keiki i kekahi mea. Aʻo kekahi i ka makemakika a i ʻole ka ʻōlelo Pelekania ma ke ʻano pāʻani. Akā ma koʻu keʻena, ʻaʻole ka pāʻani ke ʻano o ke aʻo ʻana, akā he wahi no ka hōʻike ʻana i nā manaʻo. A i ʻole ua hilahila nā mākua no ka hāʻawi ʻole ʻana o kahi keiki, pāʻani i ke kauka, akā ʻoki i ka wāwae o ka pēpē. Ma ke ʻano he loea, he mea nui iaʻu ke ʻano o ka ʻike naʻau ma hope o kekahi mau hana a ke keiki. He aha nā hana ʻuhane e ʻike ʻia i kāna hana pāʻani.
He mea pono e aʻo i nā keiki wale nō, akā nā mākua hoʻi e pāʻani?
ʻAe, a i hoʻokahi mahina e hui ai au me nā mākua me ke keiki ʻole e wehewehe i koʻu hele ʻana i ka pāʻani. ʻO ka mea nui ka mahalo i ka mea a ke keiki e hōʻike ai. E ʻōlelo kākou e pāʻani ana ka makuahine a me ke kaikamahine i ka hale kūʻai. 'Ōlelo ke kaikamahine: "Elima haneri miliona mai iāʻoe." ʻAʻole ʻōlelo ka makuahine i kamaʻāina i kā mākou ala: "He aha nā miliona, he mau mea pāʻani Soviet ruble kēia!" ʻAʻole ʻo ia e hoʻohana i ka pāʻani i mea e hoʻomohala ai i ka noʻonoʻo, akā e ʻae ʻo ia i nā lula o kāna kaikamahine.
Malia paha he mea ia e ʻike ai i ka loaʻa ʻana o ke keiki ma muli o kona noho ʻana a hōʻike i ka hoihoi i kāna hana. Inā pāʻani nā mākua i nā lula me kā lākou keiki no ka hapalua hola i hoʻokahi manawa i ka pule, e "hana" lākou no ka maikaʻi o ka naʻau o ke keiki, a ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kā lākou pilina.
He aha ka mea e makaʻu ai i nā mākua no ka pāʻani ʻana i kāu mau lula? He aha kā lākou e hoʻomākaukau ai?
Nui nā mākua e makaʻu i ka huhū. Ua wehewehe koke wau ʻo kēia wale nō ke ala - i ka pāʻani - e hōʻike i nā manaʻo ma ke kānāwai a me ka hōʻailona. A he ʻokoʻa nā manaʻo o kēlā me kēia o kākou. A he mea maikaʻi i ke keiki, i ka wā e pāʻani ana, hiki iā ia ke hōʻike iā lākou, ʻaʻole e hōʻiliʻili a lawe iā lākou, e like me ka pōkā pahū ʻole i loko ona, e pahū ana ma o ka hana a i ʻole psychosomatics.
ʻO ka hewa maʻamau i hana ʻia e nā mākua, ʻo ia ke hoʻopau i ka lāʻau lapaʻau i ka wā e hoʻomaka ai nā hōʻailona.
I ka manawa pinepine, makaʻu nā mākua ma ke kahua o ka kamaʻilio ʻana i ka «permissiveness». "ʻO ʻoe, e Elena, e ʻae iā ia i nā mea a pau, a laila e hana ʻo ia i kāna makemake ma nā wahi āpau." ʻAe, hāʻawi wau i ke kūʻokoʻa no ka hōʻike pilikino, hana wau i nā kūlana no kēia. Akā, loaʻa iā mākou kahi ʻōnaehana kapu: hana mākou i loko o ka manawa i hāʻawi ʻia, ʻaʻole a hiki i ka hoʻopau ʻana o Vanechka conditional i ka hale kiaʻi. Ke aʻo aku nei au ma mua, hoʻomanaʻo wau iā ʻoe i ʻelima mau minuke ma mua o ka hopena, hoʻokahi minuke.
Hoʻoikaika kēia i ke keiki e helu me nā mea maoli a aʻo i ke aupuni ponoʻī. Hoʻomaopopo pono ʻo ia he kūlana kūikawā kēia a he manawa kūikawā. Ke hoʻokomo ʻo ia i nā "hōʻike koko" ma ka papahele o kā mākou nursery, e hōʻemi wale ia i ka pilikia e lilo ʻo ia i pugnacious ma waho. ʻO ke keiki, ʻoiai i ka pāʻani, noho mau i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo, eia ʻo ia e aʻo ai e hoʻomalu iā ia iho.
He aha ka makahiki o kāu mau mea kūʻai aku a pehea ka lōʻihi o ka lāʻau lapaʻau?
ʻO ka hapanui pinepine he mau keiki kēia mai 3 a 10, akā i kekahi manawa a hiki i 12, ʻo ka palena kiʻekiʻe ka mea hoʻokahi. Manaʻo ʻia ka lāʻau lapaʻau pōkole he 10-14 mau hālāwai, ʻoi aku ka lōʻihi o ka lāʻau lapaʻau ma mua o hoʻokahi makahiki. Manaʻo nā haʻawina ʻōlelo Pelekania i ka hopena maikaʻi loa ma 36-40 mau kau. ʻO ka hewa maʻamau i hana ʻia e nā mākua, ʻo ia ke hoʻopau i ka lāʻau lapaʻau i ka wā e hoʻomaka ai nā hōʻailona. Akā i koʻu ʻike, ua like ka hōʻailona me ka nalu, e hoʻi mai. No laila, noʻu, ʻo ka nalo ʻana o kahi hōʻailona he hōʻailona ia e neʻe ana mākou ma ke ala pololei, a pono mākou e hoʻomau i ka hana a hiki i ka manaʻo ʻana ua hoʻoholo maoli ka pilikia.