Aloha nalo: hiki ke hoʻihoʻi ʻia?

"ʻAʻohe mea, e loaʻa iaʻu kekahi e like me ʻoe" ("ʻAʻohe mea, e loaʻa iaʻu kekahi e like me ʻoe"). No ke aha i poina ai ka laina o ka mele a Adele? No ka mea, malia paha, ua hoʻāʻo mākou a pau i hoʻokahi manawa i loko o ko mākou ola e ʻimi i kahi pani no ke aloha nui i nalowale. Minamina mākou a manaʻoʻiʻo ua pau ʻokoʻa nā mea a pau.

Makemake mākou e noʻonoʻo he "linear" ke ola, e like me kahi palapala kiʻiʻoniʻoni maikaʻi kahi e alakaʻi ai nā hanana āpau i kahi hopena maikaʻi a hauʻoli. ʻAʻole mākou e ʻaʻa a ʻaʻole makemake e nīnau iā mākou iho: "Pehea inā, ʻoiaʻiʻo, ua hewa nā mea āpau a aia ka mea maikaʻi ma hope o mākou?" Ma hope o nā mea a pau, hiki i ka pane ke huhū - pono mākou e ʻae ua nalowale ke aloha ʻoiaʻiʻo i ka makahiki 15, ua haʻalele mākou i kā mākou hana moe i hoʻokahi makahiki i hala, a ʻaʻole mākou i kamaʻilio me kā mākou mau hoaaloha maikaʻi loa mai ka puka ʻana. He mea makehewa ke imi i ka mea hewa, a aole hiki ia oe ke hooponopono i kekahi mea ma ka hoi ana i ka wa i hala ma ka mīkini manawa.

Hoʻohālikelike Hoʻohālikelike

Ke ʻimi nei mākou a pau i kahi hoa ʻuhane, kahi e hoʻomaikaʻi ai iā mākou a me ko mākou ola, e noho mau ma ko mākou ʻaoʻao a mau loa. Hoʻopiliʻia mākou e nā moʻolelo aloha, nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni e hōʻike pinepine ana i nā pilina piliʻole. Akā ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei mākou ʻo ia ka hihia.

ʻAe, paʻakikī ke haʻalele i ka manaʻo aia kahi kanaka e hoʻomaopopo mau, ʻaʻohe mea pono e wehewehe. ʻAʻole anei he mea kupanaha? I loko o ko mākou mau manaʻo, hui pū ka moeʻuhane o kahi ʻuhane a me nā hoʻomanaʻo o ke aloha nalowale a hoʻoulu i ka melancholy a me ke kaumaha. Ua maopopo iā mākou he ʻoiaʻiʻo kēlā mau manaʻo.

"Lost love" hoʻopaʻa iā mākou, ʻoiai inā kaʻawale mākou. Hiki iā mākou ke hana i kā mākou makemake, aloha i ka mea a mākou e makemake ai, akā naʻe kekahi mea e kāohi iā mākou. He aha? Hoʻohālikelike me kahi kanaka mai ka wā ma mua, a mākou i aloha nui ai (pinepine no ka manawa mua), a laila nalowale. Hoʻopaʻa ia i ke koho ʻana i kahi hoa e hiki mai ana. Ma hope o nā mea a pau, ua loaʻa iā mākou kahi "pae gula".

ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke hoʻopau i ka manaʻo o ka nalowale a me ka like ʻole, lilo ka pilina mua i mea nui i ko mākou ola. Ua wehewehe ʻo psychologist ʻo Dan McAdams i kā mākou ʻike aloha mua e hāʻawi iā mākou i ke alakaʻi kūlohelohe, e hoʻoholo ana pehea mākou e ola ai. I ka wā e hiki mai ana, pili mākou i ka ʻike i loaʻa iā mākou i ka wā i aloha ai mākou no ka manawa mua.

Hoʻōla manawa

ʻAʻole e hoʻokuʻu ka manaʻo "pehea inā" iā mākou e hele. He paʻakikī ke hoʻoluliluli i ka manaʻo he hiki ke hoʻololi ʻokoʻa nā mea. Hoʻopilikia ʻia mākou e nā kānalua: "E hiki anei iaʻu ke aloha hou? Pehea ke ola o ka mea mua? Manaʻo pū ʻo ia iaʻu? Malia paha e hoʻokaʻaʻike aku au iā ia a i ʻole ia - ʻaʻole e hōʻeha ʻia kahi leka pōkole?

ʻAʻole aʻo ka hewa o kekahi poʻe. Akā hiki iā mākou ke hoʻoponopono i kā mākou a pono mākou e hana? ʻAʻole maʻalahi ka hoʻihoʻi ʻana i ke aloha nui. I kekahi manawa ʻo nā mea a pau e koe iā mākou, ʻo ia ka hoʻomaʻemaʻe i ka hoʻomanaʻo a me nā manaʻo i koe ma hope o ke aloha nui akā nalowale.

He hana ke aloha. A i kekahi manawa pono e pau. Hoʻokahi wale nō mea - ka manawa. ʻAʻole hiki iā mākou ke hoʻololi i ka wā i hala, akā hiki iā mākou ke nānā i nā hanana lōʻihi mai kahi ʻokoʻa.

ʻAʻole e hoʻi ka mea i haʻalele. Akā, ke ola nei nā hoʻomanaʻo iā ia i loko o mākou, e nīnau iā mākou i nā pilina hou. Eia nō naʻe, ʻaʻohe pilikia o ke kūlana, pono mākou e ʻike aia ka pilikia i loko o mākou. I kekahi manawa ua ʻōlelo ʻo Adele ma kahi ninaninau ua loaʻa hou iā ia ke aloha. Ua lanakila ʻo ia i ka hilinaʻi ʻana i ka wā i hala, ʻoiai hoʻomaikaʻi iā ia ua kākau ʻo ia i kekahi o kāna mau mele pōʻino loa. 'O ia ho'i, hiki iā mākou ke ha'i aku i nā ho'omana'o o kahi mana'o nui, akā nalowale, ho'ōki i ke ana'ana i nā kama'āina hou me nā kūlana kahiko a hau'oli me ka nānā'ole i hope.