"ʻAʻole ʻo ke aloha nā mea āpau": 3 ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻawaʻawa

I ka makahiki 1967, kākau ʻo John Lennon i kahi mele aloha — ʻo ke mele All You Need is Love («All you need is love»). Ma ke ala, ua hahau ʻo ia i kāna mau wahine, ʻaʻole mālama i ke keiki, hana ʻo ia i nā ʻōlelo anti-Semitic a me ka homophobic e pili ana i kāna mea hoʻokele, a hoʻokahi manawa e moe olohelohe ana ma kahi moe ma lalo o nā lens o nā kiʻi kamepiula no ka lā holoʻokoʻa.

35 makahiki ma hope mai, ua kākau ʻo Nine Inch Nails 'Trent Reznor i ke mele "ʻAʻole lawa ke aloha." ʻOiai ʻo Reznor, ʻoiai kona kaulana, ua hiki iā ia ke lanakila i kāna mau lāʻau lapaʻau a me ka waiʻona a hāʻawi i kāna ʻoihana mele e hoʻonui i ka manawa me kāna wahine a me kāna mau keiki.

ʻO kekahi o kēia mau kāne he manaʻo maopopo a ʻoiaʻiʻo o ke aloha, ʻaʻole kekahi. Hoʻokahi aloha i manaʻo ʻia, ʻaʻole i makemake kekahi. Ua pilikia paha kekahi i ka narcissism, ʻaʻole paha kekahi.

Inā, e like me Lennon, ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei mākou ua lawa ke aloha, a laila makemake mākou e haʻalele i nā waiwai koʻikoʻi e like me ka mahalo, ka maikaʻi a me ka kūpaʻa i ka poʻe a mākou i "hoʻohala". Ma hope o nā mea a pau, inā hoʻoponopono ke aloha i nā pilikia āpau, no ke aha e hopohopo ai i ke koena - pono e hoʻoponopono iā ia iho i kekahi ʻano?

A ʻoiai ʻo ka ʻae ʻana me Reznor ʻaʻole lawa ke aloha wale nō, ʻike mākou ʻoi aku ka pono o nā pilina olakino ma mua o nā manaʻo ikaika a me nā makemake. Hoʻomaopopo mākou aia kekahi mea nui aʻe ma mua o ke kuni o ka hāʻule ʻana i ke aloha, a ʻo ka hauʻoli i ka male ʻana ma muli o nā kumu ʻē aʻe ʻaʻole i paʻi ʻia a mele ʻole ʻia.

Eia ʻekolu ʻoiaʻiʻo.

1. 'A'OLE ALOHA ALOHA ME KA MAKEMAKE

Ma muli wale nō o kou aloha ʻana, ʻaʻole ia he kūpono ke kanaka iā ʻoe. Aloha ka poʻe i ka poʻe ʻaʻole wale i kaʻana like i kā lākou makemake, akā hiki iā lākou ke luku i ko lākou ola. Akā ʻo ka manaʻoʻiʻo ʻo ka "chemistry" e kū nei ka mea nui e hoʻowahāwahā i ka leo o ke kumu. ʻAe, he mea inu ʻona ʻo ia a hoʻolilo i kāna kālā āpau (a me kāu) i ka casino, akā ʻo ke aloha kēia a pono ʻoe e hui pū me nā koina āpau.

Ke koho ʻana i kahi hoa ola, e hoʻolohe ʻaʻole wale i nā manaʻo o nā lele lele i loko o kou ʻōpū, i ʻole e hiki koke mai nā manawa paʻakikī.

2. ʻAʻole hoʻopau ke aloha i nā pilikia o ke ola

ʻO wau a me kaʻu hoaaloha mua i ke aloha. Noho mākou ma nā kūlanakauhale like ʻole, inaina ko mākou mau mākua, ʻaʻohe kālā a hoʻopaʻapaʻa mau mākou no nā mea liʻiliʻi, akā i kēlā me kēia manawa e loaʻa iā mākou ka hōʻoluʻolu i nā ʻōlelo hoʻohiwahiwa, no ka mea, he makana kakaikahi ke aloha a manaʻo mākou e lanakila ana ʻo ia.

Eia naʻe, he hoʻopunipuni kēia. ʻAʻohe mea i hoʻololi, hoʻomau nā hōʻino, ua pilikia mākou i ka hiki ʻole ke ʻike kekahi i kekahi. Ua lōʻihi nā kamaʻilio kelepona no nā hola, akā ʻaʻole lākou i manaʻo nui. ʻEkolu makahiki o ka ʻeha i pau i ka hoʻomaha. ʻO ka haʻawina aʻu i aʻo mai ai, ʻoiai hiki i ke aloha ke kōkua iā ʻoe e noʻonoʻo pono i nā pilikia o ke ola, ʻaʻole ia e hoʻonā iā lākou. Pono ka pilina hauʻoli i ke kahua paʻa.

3. Kakaikahi ka hoapono ana i na mohai no ke aloha.

I kēlā me kēia manawa, hāʻawi nā hoa i nā makemake, nā pono a me nā manawa. Akā inā no ke aloha, pono ʻoe e kaumaha i ka manaʻo ponoʻī, ka makemake, a i ʻole kahi ʻoihana, hoʻomaka ia e luku iā ʻoe mai loko. Pono nā pilina pili e hoʻokō i ko mākou ʻano pilikino.

Hiki iā ʻoe ke hana i loko o ke aloha inā ʻike ʻia kahi mea nui ma mua o kēia manaʻo i kou ola. He kilokilo ke aloha, he ʻike maikaʻi, akā e like me nā mea ʻē aʻe, hiki i kēia ʻike ke maikaʻi a maikaʻi ʻole a ʻaʻole pono e wehewehe ʻo wai mākou a no ke aha mākou i ʻaneʻi. ʻAʻole pono e hoʻohuli iā ʻoe i kou malu ponoʻī. No ka mea, ke hana ʻia kēia, nalowale ʻoe iā ʻoe iho a me ke aloha.

No ka mea kākau: He blogger ʻo Mark Manson.