He mea maʻamau ka paio, ka hakakā ma waena o nā kaikaina. Akā hiki i kēia mau mea ke loaʻa i ka hopena maikaʻi ʻole i ka lewa ʻohana a manaʻo pinepine nā mākua i ka huhū o kā lākou mau keiki. Pehea e hana ai i ka hakaka ma waena o nā kaikaina ? Pono anei mākou e ʻaoʻao, e hoʻopaʻi, e hoʻokaʻawale i ka poʻe hakakā?
He aha ka ʻōlelo a ke ala Gordon: ʻO ka mea mua, pono e waiho i nā lula o ke ola ma ke kaiāulu, e aʻo i ka mahalo i kekahi : “He kuleana kou e huhu ai i kou kaikuahine, aka, he pilikia no'u kou hahau ana iaia. Kāpae ʻia ke paʻi ʻana. He kuleana kou e huhū i kou kaikunāne, akā ʻaʻole ʻae ʻia ka uhaʻi ʻana i kāna mau mea pāʻani, no ka mea, he mea nui ka mahalo i nā mea ʻē aʻe a me kā lākou mau hana. ” Ke hoʻopaʻa ʻia nā palena, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻohana i kahi mea hana pono: hoʻoholo hakakā me ka ʻole o ka nalo. He paionia ʻo Thomas Gordon i ka noʻonoʻo ʻana i ka hoʻoholo hakakā ma o ke ala lanakila-lanakila. He mea maʻalahi ke kumumanaʻo: pono ʻoe e hana i kahi pōʻaiapili maikaʻi, ʻaʻole wela i ka manawa o ka hakakā, hoʻolohe kekahi i kekahi me ka mahalo, wehewehe i nā pono o kēlā me kēia, papa inoa i nā hopena āpau, koho i ka hopena e hōʻeha ʻole i kekahi, kau. ia ma kahi. hoʻokō a loiloi i nā hopena. Ke hana nei ka makua ma ke ʻano he uwao, komo ʻo ia me ka ʻole o ka ʻaoʻao a ʻae i nā keiki e hoʻoponopono i kā lākou mau ʻokoʻa liʻiliʻi a me nā hakakā ma o lākou iho. : "Pehea ʻoe i hana ai i ʻole? Ua hiki paha iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo "kū, ua lawa!" Ua lawe paha ʻoe i kahi mea pāʻani ʻē aʻe. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hāʻawi iā ia i kāu mea pāʻani e hoʻololi i ka mea āu i kuko ai. Hiki paha iā ʻoe ke haʻalele i ka lumi a hele e pāʻani ma kahi ʻē aʻe… ”E hana ana ka mea i hoʻopaʻi ʻia a me ka mea hoʻopiʻi i kahi hopena e kūpono no lāua.
Kuʻu keiki i ka huhū monster
ʻAʻole kōkua pinepine nā mākua i mua o ka huhū nui o kā lākou keiki. Hoʻoikaika ka manaʻo o ke keiki i ka manaʻo o ka makua, ʻo ia hoʻi, hoʻoikaika i ka huhū o ke keiki., he pōʻai ʻino. ʻOiaʻiʻo, ʻo ka mea mua e puka i waho o kēia ʻano huhū, ʻo ia ka makua, no ka mea, ʻo ia ke kanaka makua.
He aha ka ʻōlelo a ke ala Gordon: Aia ma hope o kēlā me kēia hana paʻakikī kahi pono ʻole. KAʻO kāna keiki liʻiliʻi huhū e pono iā mākou e ʻike i kona ʻano, kona ʻono, kona ākea, kona ʻāina. Pono e lohe ʻia ʻo ia e kona makua. I nā kamaliʻi liʻiliʻi, hiki mai ka huhū no ka mea ʻaʻole hiki iā lākou ke haʻi i ka mea e hana nei iā lākou. Ma nā mahina 18-24, ʻike lākou i ka huhū nui no ka mea ʻaʻole lawa kā lākou mau huaʻōlelo e hoʻomaopopo iā lākou iho. Pono ʻoe e kōkua iā ia e hoʻopuka i kona mau manaʻo i loko o nā huaʻōlelo: “Manaʻo wau ua huhū ʻoe iā mākou a ʻaʻole hiki ke haʻi i ke kumu. He mea paʻakikī no ka mea ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke wehewehe iā mākou, ʻaʻohe mea ʻakaʻaka iā ʻoe. He kuleana ko ʻoe e ʻae ʻole i kaʻu mea e noi aku ai iā ʻoe, akā ʻaʻole wau i ʻae i ke ʻano āu e hōʻike ai. HʻO urling, kaʻa ʻana ma ka honua, ʻaʻole ia ka hopena kūpono a ʻaʻole loaʻa ʻoe i kekahi mea mai iaʻu ma ia ala. » Ke hala ka nalu o ka hana ʻino, kamaʻilio hou mākou ma hope e pili ana i ke kumu o kēia huhū, ʻike mākou i ka pono, wehewehe mākou ʻaʻole mākou ʻae i ka hopena i loaʻa a hōʻike mākou i nā ala ʻē aʻe e hana ai. A inā mākou i hāʻawi i ka huhū, pono e wehewehe : “Ua huhū au a ua ʻōlelo au i nā ʻōlelo hōʻeha ʻaʻole au i manaʻo. Makemake au e kamaʻilio pū kāua. Huhū wau, no ka mea ma lalo, pololei wau a hiki iaʻu ke hōʻoia ʻaʻole ʻae ʻia kāu ʻano, akā ma ke ʻano, ua hewa wau. “