Mirror, selfies, photographs, self-explorer… ʻimi mākou iā mākou iho ma ka noʻonoʻo ʻana a i ʻole ka noʻonoʻo ʻana iā mākou iho. Akā, haʻalele pinepine kēia ʻimi iā mākou me ka hauʻoli ʻole. Ke pale nei kekahi mea iā ʻoe mai ka nānā pono ʻana iā ʻoe iho ...
Hiki iā mākou ke ʻōlelo palekana: i waena o mākou he kakaikahi ka poʻe i māʻona piha iā lākou iho, ʻoi aku hoʻi i ko lākou helehelena. Aneane nā mea a pau, inā he kāne a he wahine paha, makemake e hoʻoponopono i kekahi mea: e lilo i ʻoi aku ka hilinaʻi a i ʻole ka ʻoliʻoli, e loaʻa i ka lauoho ʻōniʻoniʻo ma kahi o ka pololei a me ka hope, e hoʻolōʻihi i nā wāwae, ākea nā poʻohiwi ... , ʻoi loa i ka wā ʻōpio. "He haʻahaʻa wau ma ke ʻano, akā ua hoʻonui ʻia koʻu haʻahaʻa e ka manaʻoʻiʻo o koʻu ʻino. A ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei au ʻaʻohe mea i ʻike nui ʻia i ke alakaʻi o ke kanaka e like me kona helehelena, ʻaʻole wale ka hiʻohiʻona ponoʻī, akā ʻo ka manaʻoʻiʻo i kona nani a maikaʻi ʻole paha, "e wehewehe ana ʻo Leo Tolstoy i kona mokuʻāina ma ka ʻāpana ʻelua o ka autobiographical. trilogy“ ʻO ka wā kamaliʻi. ʻŌpio. Opio».
I ka wā lōʻihi, ua paʻa ka ʻoi o kēia mau ʻeha, akā haʻalele loa lākou iā mākou? ʻAʻole paha: inā ʻaʻole, ʻaʻole kaulana nā kānana kiʻi e hoʻomaikaʻi i ka helehelena. E like me ka ʻoki ʻana i ka plastic.
ʻAʻole mākou i ʻike iā mākou iho e like me mākou, a no laila pono mākou i ka ʻōlelo ʻana o "I" ma o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.
Kūpaʻa mau mākou
Pehea e hiki ai iā mākou ke ʻike pono iā mākou iho? Hiki iā mākou ke ʻike iā mākou iho mai ka ʻaoʻao ke ʻike mākou i kahi mea waho? Me he mea lā ua ʻoi aku ko mākou ʻike iā mākou iho ma mua o kekahi. Eia naʻe, ʻo ka nānā ʻole ʻana iā ia iho he hana ʻane hiki ʻole. Hoʻololi ʻia kā mākou ʻike e nā projections, complexes, traumas i ʻike ʻia i ka wā kamaliʻi. ʻAʻole like kā mākou «I».
"ʻO ka ego ka alter ego mau. ʻOiai inā wau e hōʻike nei iaʻu iho ʻo "ʻo wau", ua kaʻawale mau wau mai iaʻu iho," wahi a ka psychoanalyst ʻo Jacques Lacan i kāna Essays.1. - Ke kamaʻilio pū me mākou iho, ʻike mākou i ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana. ʻO kahi hiʻohiʻona koʻikoʻi ke kūlana i ka wā e kamaʻilio ai ke kanaka i loaʻa i ka maʻi Alzheimer me ia iho me ka manaʻoʻiʻo e kū ana ʻo ia i kahi kamaʻilio ʻē aʻe. I ka hoʻomaka ʻana o ke kenekulia XNUMX, ua kākau ka neurologist a me ka psychologist ʻo Paul Solier ua hoʻōki kekahi mau wahine ʻōpio i ka ʻike ʻana iā lākou iho i ke aniani i ka wā o ka hysterical attacks. I kēia manawa, wehewehe ʻo psychoanalysis i kēia ma ke ʻano he mea pale - he hōʻole e hoʻopili i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo.
ʻO kā mākou hana maʻamau, ʻoi aʻe a i ʻole ka paʻa paʻa ponoʻī he kūkulu noʻonoʻo, kahi haku o ko mākou noʻonoʻo.
Hiki i kekahi mau maʻi hopohopo ke hoʻololi i ko mākou ʻike a hiki i ke kānalua o ka mea maʻi e pili ana i kona ola ponoʻī a manaʻo paha ʻo ia e like me ka hostage, paʻa i loko o ke kino malihini.
ʻO ia ʻano hoʻokaʻawale manaʻo he hopena ia o kahi maʻi a i ʻole ka haʻalulu nui. Akā, ʻo ka ʻoi aʻe a i ʻole ka liʻiliʻi o ka manaʻo pilikino a mākou i maʻa ai he hana noʻonoʻo nō hoʻi, kahi haku o ko mākou noʻonoʻo. ʻO ke kūkulu noʻonoʻo like he hōʻike i ke aniani. ʻAʻole kēia he hanana kino e hiki ai iā mākou ke manaʻo, akā he projection o ka ʻike nona kona moʻolelo ponoʻī.
ʻO ka nānā mua loa
ʻO ko mākou kino "ʻoiaʻiʻo" ʻaʻole ia ke kino olaola a me ke kino e pili ana i ka lāʻau lapaʻau, akā ʻo ka manaʻo i hoʻokumu ʻia ma lalo o ka mana o nā ʻōlelo a me nā manaʻo o nā mākua mua i mālama iā mākou.
"I kekahi manawa, nānā ka pēpē a puni. Aʻo ka mea mua - ma ka maka o kona makuahine. ʻIke ʻo ia e nānā ana ʻo ia iā ia. Heluhelu ʻo ia ʻo wai ʻo ia iā ia. A hoʻopau ʻo ia ke nānā aku, ʻike ʻia ʻo ia. No laila, aia nō, "i kākau ai ke keiki psychologist Donald Winnicott.2. No laila, ʻo ka nānā ʻana o kekahi, huli mai iā mākou, kūkulu ʻia i kumu o ko mākou ʻano. ʻO ke kūpono, he nānā aloha kēia. Akā ʻo ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻaʻole kēia ka hihia.
"I ka nānā ʻana mai iaʻu, ʻōlelo pinepine koʻu makuahine:" Ua hele ʻoe i nā ʻohana o kou makuakāne ", a ua inaina wau iaʻu iho no kēia, no ka mea, haʻalele koʻu makuakāne i ka ʻohana. I ka papa ʻelima, ua kahi ʻo ia i kona poʻo i ʻole e ʻike i kona lauoho lauoho, e like me kāna, "wahi a Tatyana, 34 makahiki.
ʻO ka mea nāna nā mākua i nānā me ka hoʻopailua e manaʻo iā ia iho he freak no ka manawa lōʻihi. A i ʻole e ʻimi nui ana i nā hoʻopiʻi
No ke aha i ʻoluʻolu ʻole ai nā mākua iā mākou? "Ke hilinaʻi nei ia i ko lākou ʻano ponoʻī," wehewehe ʻo Giorgi Natsvlishvili, ka psychologist. — Hiki ke ʻike ʻia nā koi nui loa, no ka laʻana, i loko o kahi makua paranoid nāna i ʻōlelo i ke keiki: “E akahele, he pōʻino ma nā wahi a pau, makemake nā mea a pau e hoʻopunipuni iā ʻoe…. Pehea kou mau māka? Akā, lawe mai ka moʻopuna a ka hoalauna i ʻelima wale nō!
No laila, hopohopo ke keiki, kanalua kona maikaʻi ma ke kino a me ke kino. A ʻo ka makua narcissistic, ʻoi aku ka nui o ka makuahine, ʻike i ke keiki he mea hoʻonui iā ia iho, no laila, ʻo nā hewa o ke keiki ke kumu i kona huhū a makaʻu paha, no ka mea, hōʻike lākou ʻaʻole pono ʻo ia a hiki i kekahi ke ʻike.
ʻO ka mea nāna nā mākua i nānā me ka hoʻopailua e manaʻo iā ia iho he freak no ka manawa lōʻihi. A i ʻole e ʻimi nui i nā hoʻopiʻi, e hoʻopaʻa i nā moʻolelo aloha he nui e hōʻoia i ko lākou nani, a me ka hoʻouna ʻana i nā kiʻi ma nā ʻupena kaiapuni e hōʻiliʻili i nā makemake. "Ke ʻike pinepine nei au i ka ʻimi ʻana mai kaʻu mau mea kūʻai aku, a he poʻe ʻōpio kēia a me nā kaikamahine ma lalo o ka makahiki 30," wahi a Giorgi Natsvlishvili. Akā ʻaʻole i ka ʻohana mau ke kumu. Aia kekahi manaʻo he mea make ka pololei o nā mākua, akā ʻoiaʻiʻo, hiki ke ala mai ia mau moʻolelo me ka ʻole o ko lākou komo ʻana. He kaiapuni koi loa.»
ʻO nā mea alakaʻi o kēia kikoʻī he moʻomeheu lehulehu - e noʻonoʻo i nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni a me nā pāʻani me nā superheroes a me nā makasina kiʻi me nā hiʻohiʻona lahilahi loa - a me ka pōʻai i loko, nā hoa papa a me nā hoaaloha.
Nā Kiʻi aniani
ʻAʻole hiki ke noʻonoʻo ʻia ka noʻonoʻo a mākou e ʻike ai i ke aniani a i ʻole nā kiʻi he ʻoiaʻiʻo maoli, no ka mea ke nānā aku nei mākou iā lākou mai kahi ʻano o ka manaʻo, i hoʻopili ʻia e nā manaʻo (me ka leo ʻole i hōʻike ʻia) o nā mākua koʻikoʻi o ko mākou wā kamaliʻi. , a laila nā hoaaloha, nā kumu, nā hoa, ka mana a me ko mākou mau manaʻo ponoʻī. Akā ua hoʻokumu ʻia lākou ma lalo o ka mana o ke kaiāulu a me ka moʻomeheu, e hāʻawi ana i nā kumu hoʻohālike, e loli pū ana i ka manawa. ʻO ia ke kumu o ka manaʻo kūʻokoʻa kūʻokoʻa, «I», me ka hoʻohui ʻole ʻia o ka mana o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, he utopia. ʻAʻole ia he coincidence ka manaʻo o ka poʻe Buddhist i kā lākou "I" he hoʻopunipuni.
ʻAʻole mākou i ʻike nui iā mākou iho e like me kā mākou koho, ʻohi i ka ʻike inā pono, hoʻohālikelike me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, hoʻolohe i nā loiloi. ʻAʻole ia he mea kupanaha ke hana hewa mākou i kekahi manawa ma kēlā mau ʻāpana hiki ke ana ʻia. Ma kahi kokoke i ke kauwela, ʻike ʻia ka hele ʻana o nā wahine he nui i nā ʻaʻahu kūpono ʻole, i nā kāmaʻa kāmaʻa kahi e kū ai nā manamana lima ... ʻIke ʻia, i loko o ke aniani ʻike lākou i kahi ʻano slimmer a ʻōpio paha. He pale kēia mai ka ʻoiaʻiʻo: hoʻomaʻamaʻa ka lolo i nā manawa leʻaleʻa, pale i ka psyche mai ka pilikia.
Hana like ka lolo me nā ʻaoʻao unattractive o ke ʻano: hoʻomaʻamaʻa iā lākou i ko mākou manaʻo, a ʻaʻole mākou e ʻike, no ka laʻana, ko mākou rudeness, harshness, kahaha i ka hopena o ka poʻe a puni mākou, ka mea a mākou e manaʻo ai he hoʻopā a i ʻole. hoʻomanawanui ʻole.
ʻO Leo Tolstoy i loko o ka puke moʻolelo i kapaʻia ka diary e like me kēia: "he kamaʻilio me kekahi, me kēlāʻoiaʻiʻo a me ke akua e ola nei i kēlā me kēia kanaka"
Hoʻololi ʻia ko mākou kiʻi ponoʻī e ko mākou makemake e loaʻa i ka ʻae ʻia e ka lehulehu. Ua kapa ʻia ʻo Carl Jung i kēlā mau masks social "Persona": huli mākou i nā maka makapō i nā koi o kā mākou iho "I", hoʻoholo ponoʻī ma o ke kūlana, pae o ka loaʻa, diplomas, male a me nā keiki. Inā hāʻule ka ʻaoʻao o ka kūleʻa a ʻike ʻia aia he hakahaka ma hope o ia, hiki ke kali mai kahi haʻalulu koʻikoʻi iā mākou.
I ka manawa pinepine i ka hoʻokipa, nīnau ka psychologist i ka nīnau like: "He aha ʻoe?" Ke koi pinepine nei ʻo ia e wehewehe mākou iā mākou iho me nā epithets ʻē aʻe, e hōʻole ana e ʻae i nā kuleana kaiāulu i kēia ʻano: makemake ʻo ia ʻaʻole mākou e kapa maʻamau iā mākou iho he "lima hana oihana maikaʻi" a me "nā mākua mālama", akā e hoʻāʻo e hoʻokaʻawale i kā mākou mau manaʻo e pili ana. iā mākou iho, no ka laʻana: "irascible", "ʻano", "koi".
Hiki i nā diaries pilikino ke lawelawe i ke kumu like. ʻO Leo Tolstoy i loko o ka puke "Resurrection" kāhea i ka diary penei: "he kamaʻilio me kekahi, me kēlā ʻoiaʻiʻo, ke Akua e ola nei i kēlā me kēia kanaka."
ʻO ka pono o nā mea nānā
ʻO ka liʻiliʻi o kā mākou ʻike iā mākou iho, ʻoi aku ka nui o kā mākou makemake i nā mea nānā e hāʻawi mai iā mākou i nā manaʻo. ʻO ia paha ke kumu i loaʻa ai ka kaulana i ke ʻano hou o ke kiʻi pilikino, ka selfie. I kēia hihia, ʻo ke kanaka i paʻi ʻia a me ka mea paʻi kiʻi he kanaka like, no laila ke hoʻāʻo nei mākou e hopu i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo o ko mākou ʻano ...
Akā, he nīnau nō hoʻi i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe: "Ke ʻae nei ʻoe e like me kēia?"
Ke ho'āʻo nei mākou e hōʻike iā mākou iho i kahi hiʻohiʻona maikaʻi, me he mea lā ke noi nei mākou i ka ʻae e hoʻokō i ke kiʻi kūpono. ʻOiai ke hopu nei mākou iā mākou iho i nā kūlana ʻakaʻaka, ʻo ka makemake ka mea like: e ʻike i ko mākou ʻano.
ʻO ka honua o ka ʻenehana hiki iā ʻoe ke noho ma ke kui o ka ʻae ʻana o ka lehulehu no nā makahiki. Eia naʻe, he mea maikaʻi ʻole ke hoʻohālikelike iā ʻoe iho?
ʻOiai ʻaʻole ʻokoʻa ka loiloi waho, ma hope o nā mea a pau, ʻike nā mea ʻē aʻe i nā mana like ʻole. I nā paʻi Iapana mai ka wā Edo, hoʻokomo nā mea nani i ka pena ʻeleʻele ma ko lākou niho. A inā ʻaʻahu ʻia ʻo Danae o Rembrandt i nā lole hou, ʻo wai ka mea e mahalo i kona nani? ʻO ka mea i manaʻo ʻia he nani i kekahi kanaka ʻaʻole paha e ʻoluʻolu i kekahi.
Akā ma ka hōʻiliʻili ʻana i nā mea makemake he nui, hiki iā mākou ke hōʻoiaʻiʻo iā mākou iho i ka liʻiliʻi o ka nui o kā mākou mau hoa e like me mākou. "Hoʻouna wau i nā kiʻi i kēlā me kēia lā, i kekahi manawa i nā manawa he nui, a ke kakali nei au i nā manaʻo manaʻo," wahi a Renata, 23 makahiki. "Pono wau i kēia e manaʻo ai ke ola nei au a ke hana nei kekahi mea iaʻu."
ʻO ka honua o ka ʻenehana hiki iā ʻoe ke noho ma ke kui o ka ʻae ʻana o ka lehulehu no nā makahiki. Eia naʻe, he mea maikaʻi ʻole ke hoʻohālikelike iā ʻoe iho? Hōʻike nā haʻawina he nui ka poʻe e hana nei i ka hauʻoli ma mua o ka poʻe e hoʻāʻo nei e hōʻino iā lākou iho.
1 ʻO Jacques-Marie-Émile Lacan Essay points (Le Seuil, 1975).
2 "The Role of the Mirror of Mother and Family," in The Game and Reality by Donald W. Winnicott (Institute for General Humanities Studies, 2017).