ʻO ke aloha ma nā lula: he aha ka hewa o nā moʻolelo aloha fictional?

Ke ulu nei mākou, ke aloha aku nei mākou i ke ao kilokilo o nā moʻolelo moʻolelo. Hoʻomaopopo mākou ʻaʻole e puka mai ka lā ma ke kauoha a kahi pike, ʻaʻohe waiwai i kanu ʻia i loko o ka māla, a ʻaʻole e ʻike ʻia kahi genie ikaika loa mai kahi kukui kahiko a hoʻohuli i kahi hoa hana ʻino i muskrat.

Eia nō naʻe, ke hoʻololi ʻia nei kekahi mau mea hoʻopunipuni e nā mea ʻē aʻe - nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni aloha a me nā puke e hāʻawi lokomaikaʻi mai iā mākou. "Ke kū'ē nei ka Romanticism i ke aloha i ka hana maʻamau, ka makemake i ka koho noʻonoʻo, ka hakakā ʻana i ke ola maluhia," wahi a ke akeakamai ʻo Alain de Botton. ʻO nā paio, nā pilikia a me ka manaʻo paʻakikī o kahi denouement e hoʻohauʻoli i ka hana. Akā ke ho'āʻo nei mākou iho e noʻonoʻo a manaʻo e like me nā meʻe o kā mākou kiʻiʻoniʻoni punahele, huli kūʻē ko mākou mau manaʻo iā mākou.

Pono nā kānaka a pau e loaʻa i kā lākou "hapa ʻē aʻe"

I ke ola, hālāwai mākou i nā koho he nui no ka pilina hauʻoli. Ua male nā ​​kānaka ʻelua no nā kumu pragmatic, akā ua hoʻopiha ʻia lākou me ke aloha maoli kekahi i kekahi. E like me kēia: aloha mākou, akā ʻike mākou ʻaʻole hiki iā mākou ke hui pū, a hoʻoholo e haʻalele. 'O ia ho'i, he kuhihewa ka pilina? Akā, he ʻike waiwai ia i kōkua iā mākou e hoʻomaopopo maikaʻi iā mākou iho.

ʻO nā moʻolelo e hui pū ai ka hopena i nā koa a hoʻokaʻawale paha iā lākou ma nā ʻaoʻao like ʻole me he mea lā e hoʻomāʻewaʻewa iā mākou: ʻo ka mea maikaʻi ma ʻaneʻi, e auwana ana ma kahi kokoke. E wikiwiki, e nānā i nā mea ʻelua, i ʻole e poina ʻoe i kou hauʻoli.

Ma ke kiʻiʻoniʻoni "Mr. ʻAʻohe kanaka » ola ka meʻe i nā koho no ka wā e hiki mai ana. ʻO kāna koho ʻana i kona wā kamaliʻi e hui pū me ia me ʻekolu mau wahine like ʻole - akā hoʻokahi wale nō e hauʻoli maoli ai ʻo ia. Hoʻomaopopo nā mea kākau e pili ana ko mākou hauʻoli i nā koho a mākou e hana ai. Akā ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kēia koho: e ʻimi i ke aloha o kou ola, a i ʻole ke kuhi hewa.

Ma ka ʻae ʻana i kēia mau lula o ka pāʻani, hoʻopaʻi mākou iā mākou iho i ka kānalua mau loa. ʻOiai i ka hālāwai ʻana me ke kanaka kūpono, kānalua mākou - maikaʻi maoli ʻo ia? Maopopo iā mākou? A i ʻole, ua haʻalele paha ʻoe i nā mea āpau a hele pū me kēlā kanaka-paʻi kiʻi i mele nani me kahi kīkā ma kahi pāʻina hui? Hiki ke ʻike ʻia ka hopena o Emma Bovary mai ka puke moʻolelo a Flaubert.

"Ua hoʻohana ʻo ia i kona wā kamaliʻi holoʻokoʻa i loko o kahi halepule, i hoʻopuni ʻia e nā moʻolelo aloha ʻona," wahi a Allen de Botton. — ʻO ka hopena, ua hoʻoikaika ʻo ia iā ia iho e lilo kāna mea i koho ʻia he kanaka maikaʻi loa, hiki ke hoʻomaopopo hohonu i kona ʻuhane a i ka manawa like e hoʻonāukiuki iā ia i ka naʻauao a me ka moekolohe. ʻAʻole i loaʻa kēia mau ʻano i kāna kāne, ua hoʻāʻo ʻo ia e ʻike iā lākou i loko o nā mea aloha - a hōʻino iā ia iho.

ʻO ke aloha ka lanakila akā ʻaʻole mālama ʻia

"ʻO kahi hapa nui o ko mākou ola e hoʻopau ʻia i ka ʻiʻini a me ka ʻimi ʻana i kahi mea a mākou e noʻonoʻo ʻole ai," i kākau ai ka psychologist ʻo Robert Johnson, ka mea kākau o "Us: The Deep Aspects of Romantic Love." "Ke kanalua mau nei, e hoʻololi ana mai kahi hoa i kekahi, ʻaʻohe o mākou manawa e ʻike ai i ke ʻano o ka pilina." Akā hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻohewa iā ʻoe iho no kēia? ʻAʻole anei kēia ke kumu hoʻohālike a mākou e ʻike ai ma nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni Hollywood?

Ua kaʻawale nā ​​mea aloha, kahi mea e hoʻopilikia mau i kā lākou pilina. A hiki wale i ka hopena ke hoʻopau pū lākou. Akā pehea e ulu hou ai ko lākou hopena, ʻaʻole mākou i ʻike. A pinepine ʻaʻole mākou makemake e ʻike, no ka mea makaʻu mākou i ka luku ʻana i ka idyll i loaʻa me ia paʻakikī.

"Ma ke ola o ka hapa nui o mākou, ʻokoʻa ka paʻakikī nui ma mua o ke ola o nā poʻe moʻolelo a me nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni," wahi a Alain de Botton. "ʻO ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi hoa pili iā mākou ʻo ka hana mua wale nō. A laila, pono mākou e launa pū me kahi kanaka a mākou i ʻike ʻole ai.

ʻO kēia kahi i hōʻike ʻia ai ka hoʻopunipuni e waiho nei i ka manaʻo o ke aloha aloha. ʻAʻole i hānau ʻia kā mākou hoa e hoʻohauʻoli iā mākou. Malia paha e ʻike mākou ua kuhihewa mākou i kā mākou mea i koho ai. Mai ka manaʻo o nā manaʻo aloha, he pōʻino kēia, akā i kekahi manawa ʻo ia ka mea e koi ai i nā hoa e ʻike maikaʻi kekahi i kekahi a hoʻopau i nā hoʻopunipuni.

Inā kānalua mākou - na ke ola e haʻi i ka pane

Hoʻolohe nā puke moʻolelo a me nā kiʻi ʻoniʻoni i nā kānāwai o ka moʻolelo: laina mau nā hanana e like me ka mea e pono ai ka mea kākau. Inā hoʻokaʻawale nā ​​​​mea koa, a laila ma hope o nā makahiki he nui hiki iā lākou ke hui maoli - a e hoʻonāukiuki kēia hālāwai i ko lākou mau manaʻo. I ke ola, ma ka ʻokoʻa, he nui nā coincidences, a ʻike pinepine ʻole ʻia nā hanana, me ka ʻole o ka pilina me kekahi. Akā ʻo ka noʻonoʻo aloha e koi iā mākou e ʻimi (a loaʻa!) No ka laʻana, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻoholo ʻaʻole i pōʻino ka hālāwai manawa me kahi aloha mua. He hōʻailona paha ia o ka hopena?

I ke ola maoli, hiki i kekahi mea ke hana. Hiki iā mākou ke aloha i kekahi i kekahi, a laila hoʻomaha, a laila ʻike hou i ke aloha o kā mākou pilina iā mākou. I loko o nā palapala aloha a me nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni, ʻo kēia neʻe ʻana he ʻaoʻao hoʻokahi: i ka ʻike ʻana o nā kiʻi ua maʻalili ko lākou mau manaʻo, hoʻopuehu lākou ma nā ʻaoʻao like ʻole. Inā ʻaʻohe manaʻo ʻē aʻe o ka mea kākau no lākou.

"Ke ho'āʻo nei e hopu i nā hōʻailona e manaʻo ʻia e hoʻouna mai ka hopena iā mākou, hāʻule mākou i ka hoʻopunipuni iā ​​​​ʻoe iho," wahi a Alain de Botton. "Me he mea lā ua hoʻomalu ʻia ko mākou ola e kekahi mea mai waho, a ʻo ka hopena ke pale aku nei mākou i ke kuleana no kā mākou hoʻoholo."

ʻO ke aloha ke ʻano o ka makemake

ʻO nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni e like me Fall in Love with Me If You Dare e hāʻawi i kahi kūlana kūʻokoʻa: ʻoi aku ka waiwai o kahi pilina i hoʻonui ʻia ai nā manaʻo ma mua o nā ʻano aloha ʻē aʻe. ʻAʻole hiki ke hōʻike pololei i ko lākou mau manaʻo, hoʻomāinoino nā mea i kekahi i kekahi, e ʻeha ana i ko lākou nāwaliwali ponoʻī a i ka manawa like e hoʻāʻo ai e ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o kekahi, e koi iā ia e ʻae i kona nāwaliwali. Hoʻokaʻawale lākou, ʻimi i nā hoa ʻē aʻe, hoʻomaka i nā ʻohana, akā ma hope o nā makahiki he nui e hoʻomaopopo lākou: ʻo ke ana ʻana o ke ola i loko o kahi kāne ʻaʻole e hāʻawi iā lākou i ka hauʻoli a lākou i ʻike ai kekahi i kekahi.

"Mai ka wā kamaliʻi, maʻa mākou i ka ʻike ʻana i nā ʻano e alualu mau nei kekahi i kekahi, ma ke ʻano maoli a me ke ʻano kiʻi," wahi a Sheryl Paul, kahi mea aʻoaʻo maʻi hopohopo. "Hoʻokomo mākou i kēia ʻano, hoʻokomo mākou i loko o kā mākou palapala pili. Maʻa mākou i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo ʻo ke aloha he pāʻani mau, ʻo ka mea o ka makemake e mamao a hiki ʻole ke hiki, hiki iā ia ke hele aku i kahi ʻē aʻe a hōʻike i ko mākou mau manaʻo wale nō ma o ka hana ʻino.

ʻO ka hopena, kūkulu mākou i kā mākou moʻolelo aloha e like me kēia mau hiʻohiʻona a ʻokiʻoki i nā mea āpau ke ʻano like ʻole. Pehea mākou e ʻike ai inā kūpono kahi hoa no mākou? Pono mākou e nīnau iā mākou iho: ke hopohopo nei mākou i kona alo? Ua lili anei kakou ia hai? Aia kekahi mea hiki ʻole ke komo, pāpā ʻia i loko?

"Ma muli o nā hiʻohiʻona pili aloha, hāʻule mākou i kahi pahele," wehewehe ʻo Sheryl Paul. - Ma nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni, hoʻopau ka moʻolelo o nā mea i ke kahua o ke aloha. I ke ola, ulu hou ka pilina: emi iho ke kuko, a hiki i ke anuanu uʻi o ka hoa ke lilo i mea ponoʻī, a me ke kipi - ʻaʻohe oʻo.

Ke ʻae mākou e ola i ke ola o kahi mea kākau moʻolelo a kiʻiʻoniʻoni paha, manaʻo mākou e holo nā mea āpau e like me ka hoʻolālā. E hoʻouna mai ʻo Fate iā mākou i ke aloha i ka manawa kūpono. E kipaku ʻo ia iā mākou e kūʻē iā ia (a iā Her) ma ka puka, a ʻoiai mākou e hōʻiliʻili hilahila i nā mea i hāʻule mai ko mākou mau lima aku, e ala mai ka manaʻo ma waena o mākou. Inā ʻo ka hopena kēia, e hui pū nō kākou, ʻaʻohe mea e hiki mai ana.

Ke ola nei ma ka palapala, lilo mākou i mau pio no kēlā mau lula e hana wale nei i loko o kahi honua fictional. Akā inā mākou e hoʻoikaika ma waho o ka manaʻo, e kuha ana i nā manaʻo aloha aloha, e ʻoi aku ka liʻiliʻi o nā mea ma mua o kā mākou punahele punahele. Akā ma ka ʻaoʻao ʻē aʻe, e hoʻomaopopo mākou mai kā mākou ʻike ponoʻī i kā mākou makemake maoli a pehea e hoʻopili ai i kā mākou mau makemake me nā makemake o kahi hoa.

Puna: Financial Times.