Hana pū lākou i nā mea a pau: aia kahi, aia kekahi. ʻAʻole kūpono ke ola kaʻawale mai kahi hoa pili iā lākou. Me he mea lā he kūpono i makemake nui ʻia e ka poʻe he nui. Akā, ua piha kēlā ʻano idyll i ka pōʻino.
"Hoʻolimalima mākou i ko mākou manawa manawaleʻa a pau, hele pū mākou e kipa i nā hoaaloha a me nā hoaaloha, hele mākou i ka hoʻomaha ʻelua wale nō," wahi a Katerina, 26 makahiki.
"ʻAʻole au e ola me ʻoe" ʻo ia ka motto o nā kāne hiki ʻole ke hoʻokaʻawale. Hana pū ʻo Maria lāua ʻo Yegor. "Ua like lākou me kahi mea ola hoʻokahi - makemake lākou i ka mea like, ʻaʻahu i ke ʻano kala like ʻole, a hoʻopau i nā ʻōlelo a kekahi," wahi a ka psychoanalyst Saverio Tomasella, ka mea kākau o The Merge Relationship.
ʻIke maʻamau, makaʻu a maʻamau
Manaʻo ka psychoanalyst hiki ke hoʻokaʻawale ʻia nā kāne male ʻole i ʻekolu mau ʻano.
Ke ʻano mua - he mau pilina kēia i ala mua loa, i ka wā e ʻike mau ana nā hoa i ko lākou hoʻokumu ʻana. Hiki iā lākou ke hoaaloha mai ke kula, mai ke kula haʻahaʻa paha. ʻO ka ʻike o ka ulu pū ʻana e hoʻopaʻa i ko lākou pilina - i kēlā me kēia manawa o ko lākou ola ʻike lākou i kēlā me kēia ʻaoʻao, e like me ke aniani i ke aniani.
Ke ʻano ʻelua - inā hiki ʻole i kekahi o nā hoa, a ʻelua paha, ke hoʻomanawanui i ka mehameha. Inā hoʻoholo kāna mea i koho ʻia e noho kaʻawale i ke ahiahi, manaʻo ʻo ia ua haʻalele ʻia a pono ʻole. ʻO ka pono o ka hoʻohui ʻana i ia poʻe i hoʻoikaika ʻia e ka hopohopo e waiho wale ʻia lākou. ʻO ia mau pilina ke hānau pinepine ʻia, e lilo i hilinaʻi pū.
ʻAno ʻekolu - ka poʻe i ulu aʻe i loko o kahi ʻohana kahi i pili ai ka pilina. Ke hahai wale nei kēia poʻe i ke ʻano ma mua o ko lākou mau maka.
ʻAhaʻi palupalu
ʻO lākou iho, ʻaʻole hiki ke kapa ʻia nā pilina i pili pono ai ke ola o nā hoa. E like me nā mea ʻē aʻe, he mea ia o ka hoʻohaʻahaʻa.
"I kekahi mau hihia, paʻa mau nā lovebirds i kahi mana kūʻokoʻa, a ʻaʻole lilo kēia i pilikia," wahi a Saverio Tomasella. — I nā mea ʻē aʻe, ua piha ka hui ʻana: ʻike ʻole kekahi me ka ʻole o kekahi. Aia wale nō "mākou", ʻaʻole "I". I ka hopena hope, ulu pinepine ka hopohopo i ka pilina, hiki i nā hoa ke lili a ho'āʻo e hoʻomalu i kekahi i kekahi.
He mea weliweli ka hilinaʻi naʻau no ka mea e pili ana i ka naʻauao a me ka hoʻokele waiwai.
Ke pohihihi nā palena pilikino, ho'ōki mākou i ka hoʻokaʻawale ʻana iā mākou iho mai kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe. Ua hiki mai i kahi e ʻike ai mākou i ke kuʻikahi liʻiliʻi he mea hoʻoweliweli i ka maikaʻi. A i ʻole, hoʻoheheʻe ʻia i kahi ʻē aʻe, hoʻōki mākou i ka hoʻolohe ʻana iā mākou iho a ma muli o ka hopena - inā he haʻihaʻi - ʻike mākou i kahi pilikia pilikino.
"He mea weliweli ka hilinaʻi naʻau no ka mea pili i ka naʻauao a me ka hoʻokele waiwai," wehewehe ka loea. "Ke noho mau nei kekahi o nā hoa me he mea lā no ʻelua, ʻoiai ʻo kekahi e noho ʻole a hiki ʻole ke hoʻoholo kūʻokoʻa."
Hoʻokumu pinepine ʻia ka pilina pili i waena o ka poʻe i loaʻa ʻole kahi pilina paʻa a hilinaʻi me ko lākou mau mākua ma ke ʻano he kamaliʻi. "Ua lilo kēia pono pathological no kekahi kanaka ʻē aʻe i ala - auwe, ʻaʻole i kūleʻa - e hoʻopiha i ka manaʻo ʻole," wehewehe ʻo Saverio Tomasella.
Mai ka Hui a i ka Ehaeha
Hōʻike ka hilinaʻi iā ia iho i nā hōʻailona like ʻole. He hopohopo paha kēia ma muli o kahi kaʻawale pōkole mai kahi hoa, ka makemake e hahai i kāna mau hana āpau, e ʻike i kāna hana i kekahi manawa.
ʻO kekahi hōʻailona ʻo ka pani ʻana o ka lua iā ia iho. Hoʻemi nā hoa i ka helu o nā pilina, hana i nā hoaaloha liʻiliʻi, hoʻokaʻawale iā lākou iho mai ka honua me kahi pā i ʻike ʻole ʻia. ʻO ka poʻe a pau e ʻae iā lākou iho e kānalua i kā lākou koho e lilo i ʻenemi a ʻoki ʻia. ʻO ia kaʻawale hiki ke alakaʻi i nā hakakā a me ka haki ʻana o nā pilina me nā ʻohana a me nā hoaaloha.
Inā ʻike ʻoe i kēia mau hōʻailona ma kāu pilina, pono e kamaʻilio me ke kauka i ka wā hiki.
"Ke ʻike maopopo ʻia ka hilinaʻi, ulu ke aloha i ka ʻeha, akā ʻo ka manaʻo o ka haʻihaʻi ʻana he mea kupanaha i nā hoa," wahi a Saverio Tomasella. - I mea e nānā pono ai i ke kūlana, pono e ʻike mua nā hoa iā lākou iho ma ke ʻano he kanaka, e aʻo e hoʻolohe i kā lākou makemake a me nā pono. Malia paha e koho lākou e noho pū - akā ma nā ʻōlelo hou e noʻonoʻo ai i nā pono pilikino o kēlā me kēia.