Nīnauele me Gabrielle Rubin no ka pāpā ʻana i ka ulu ʻana o ke keiki
makua : Wahi a ʻoe, kūkulu ka manaʻo i ka pāpā a hiki i ke keiki ke hana. He aha ka pāpā?
Gabrielle Rubin : Ua pāpā ʻia kēia mau mea a pau. ʻO ka poʻe i ʻōlelo ʻia e ka hui a me nā mea kaulana a pau "ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hana i kēia", "ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e hoʻolei i kāu porridge i ka honua", "Ke pāpā aku nei au iā ʻoe e hakakā ma ke kula". He mea maʻalahi: ke pāpā ʻoe i kekahi e hana i kekahi mea, a ʻo ke keiki hoʻi, hoʻokahi wale nō mea a lākou e makemake ai… ʻO kēia ke poʻomanaʻo o ka moʻolelo o Bluebeard, nāna kāna wahine i pana i ka puka o ka hale kākela ʻaʻole pono e wehe!
P. : Ke hoʻokau nei mākou i nā pāpā, ʻaʻole anei mākou e pilikia i ka pale ʻana i ko mākou ʻimi, ko mākou makemake e aʻo?
GR : Ma ke kue. I kēia manawa, haʻi mākou i nā keiki i nā mea a pau, ʻoiai nā kamaliʻi. Me ka ʻike e pili ana i ka moekolohe. Akā, hoʻomohala ka mea pohihihi i ka naʻauao. E lawe i ka laʻana o kahi keiki ʻōpio i aʻo e loaʻa koke iā ia kahi kaikunāne pēpē. E nīnau ʻo ia iā ia iho i nā nīnau e pili ana i "pehea mākou e hana ai i nā pēpē". Inā, ma kahi o ka haʻi ʻana i nā mea āpau, pane mākou ʻaʻole no kēia manawa ka wehewehe ʻana, he ʻōpio ʻo ia, ʻimi ʻo ia a hana i nā manaʻo, pinepine wahaheʻe a hiki i ka eccentric. Akā, liʻiliʻi liʻiliʻi, i ka wā e hiki mai ana i kahi mea e like me ka mea maoli. Kapa ʻia kēia ʻo ke ʻano "hoʻāʻo a me ka hewa", ʻo ia ke kumu o nā ʻepekema āpau, o nā ʻike ʻepekema āpau. A ʻo ia ka hana a ke keiki: hoʻāʻo ʻo ia, ʻike ʻo ia ʻaʻole maikaʻi loa, hoʻāʻo ʻo ia i kahi ala ʻē aʻe.
P. : Aia kekahi mau pāpā i ʻoi aku ka "naʻauao" ma mua o nā mea ʻē aʻe?
GR : He mea nui e hoʻokomo i loko o ka manaʻo o nā keiki a me nā mākua he mea nui nā pāpā e kau i nā palena. ʻOiai ʻo ke ʻano o kēia manawa ʻoi aku ka holoi ʻana iā lākou. Akā ʻoiaʻiʻo, inā ʻaʻole kūpono a ʻaʻole hewa paha ka pāpā, hiki ke loaʻa nā hopena pōʻino. Aia nō nā pāpā weliweli, a ʻo ka psychoanalysis e hoʻopau i kā lākou hopena! No laila, ʻo ka haʻi ʻana i ke keiki ʻaʻole ona kuleana e hana i kēlā ʻano hana a i ʻole he naʻaupō ʻole ʻo ia e hele i ke kula, e hoʻolohi i kona ulu maikaʻi. A i ka wā makua, hana mākou i kahi psychoanalysis, hoʻomaka mākou ma ka nīnau ʻana iā mākou iho no ke aha wau e like ai, no ke aha, no ka laʻana, ke kanu nei au ma lalo o kaʻu mau mea hiki, no ke aha i loaʻa ʻole ai iaʻu ka hoa kāne e pili ana iaʻu. Ke nīnau nei mākou iā mākou iho i nā nīnau e hoʻihoʻi iā mākou i kēia mau pāpā ʻino.
P. : Me he mea lā ke neʻe nei ka ʻaha kanaka i kēia lā i ka hōʻole ʻana i nā pāpā i ka hoʻonaʻauao. No ke aha mai ?
GR : Loaʻa ka hōʻole ʻana i nā pāpā i kekahi o kāna mau kumu i ka hōʻole ʻana i ka mana makua. Ua ʻike maikaʻi ʻia kēia a ʻike ʻole ʻia e ka lehulehu. Manaʻo nā mākua i ka hewa ke hoʻohana lākou i kahi paʻa iki. E hoʻomaopopo kākou: ma ka mana, ʻaʻole ia he nīnau no ka hana ʻino i ke keiki. Akā e kau i nā palena ma waena o ka mea i ʻae ʻia a me ka mea ʻaʻole. ʻAʻole ʻaʻa hou nā mākua. ʻO ka manaʻo "Poor darling, hoʻopilikia mākou iā ia." ” Ma ke kue ! Hana mākou iā ia i ke akamai. A eia hou, hōʻoluʻolu mākou iā ia. Ke ʻike ʻole mākou i ke ala e hahai ai, pono mākou i ke kanaka makua nāna e kuhikuhi iā mākou. Nui, hiki iā mākou ke hoʻololi inā makemake mākou!
* Ka mea kākau o "No ke aha ke pāpā ʻana i kā mākou mau keiki i naʻauao", ed. Eyrolles.